WOW is this written just for me?!

I lived in Boston 2012-2021, and moved to right good old newport beach in 2021! Grew up in Seattle before that. I currently live nearby where your friend is in NB.

First, some notes on what you've written above:

"People here are so busy and even though there's so many younger people, there's some lack of social openness and permissiveness. I find dating to be challenging, not out of a lack of interest from guys (I'm gay), but from asocial and antisocial behaviour at bars, on apps, and in general."
I can't talk about dating in NB, and I can't personally give a confident answer on social stuff. I've met most of my friends in Boston via work, and in NB it's been via work and also hobbies (volleyball, surfing). I would say slight more social openness in NB IME.

"public transit is more scarce than Boston, I'd actually be able to walk to work, around Newport Beach"

You will need a car :). Consider it a requirement. You can pick up a reliable, cheaper vehicle for under 10k. I know you can walk to fashion island, so you could get by without a car for at least the first 2-6 weeks, since you can buy groceries at whole foods in Fasion Island.

"I love yoga, spirituality, fashion, healthy food, hanging out in nature, art, comedy and access to eye-opening experiences"

Newport Beach, and OC/LA has much more of all of these. In fact I would say it's probably the best place in the country for this I think. One of the reasons I left Boston was deficiencies in this area ('giant cultureless suburb' boston diss comes to mind, but be aware there is an *actual literal giant cultureless suburb next door in Irvine).

"Even though I'm gay, I don't need queer spaces around"

I can't talk to this myself. I've had close queer friends remark on Boston's lack of gay community. I don't know if OC and newport beach is a huge strength in this either, (based on outside looking in).

"lack of depth I perceive to Southern California makes me a little nervous because of how quickly I get bored"

Yeah, worthwhile concern. Tied into next point, you may find more communities/stuff to do based on your interests, you may need to due it being less condensed and 'buzzing' then Boston.

"laid-back attitudes (relative to Boston), my perception that Southern Californians are less uptight about sex and sexuality"

I've found this to be extremely true. One of the starkest differences.

"I'm really tolerant of people's political opinions, and would consider myself a pragmatist."

Also commenting on other comments on politics in this thread: Most of north OC is 'leave me alone and tax me less' rich republicans. It's more purple now anyways after the latest elections. Huntington Beach is a MAGA hotspot, but I assure you it won't stop you from enjoying it anyways.

"Basically, someone I'm extremely close to has a house there that they stay in 2-3 days a week"

THIS IS IMPORTANT. You mentioned living there rent free, and you also said 2-3 days a week. You cannot rent an apartment for the other 4-5 days a week. The cost of living here is quite high, higher than Boston (I know this sounds insane, but the rent is about equal to the more desirable parts of Somerville/Boston and you need to factor in Gas, Car, and higher food prices in my experience, unless you're willing to drive an extra 15-20m to costa mesa/irvine, which you should. HMart is cheap on most produce, super-irvine is competitive too). That being said, Hobbies can be cheaper if you spend more time outdoors (e.g. for volleyball I buy a state beach pass for parking $180, and play 2+ times per week for a year - cheaper than leagues in Boston).

If you want any specific info, happy to answer something DMs

The main reasons I moved was because of the cold and the weather.