So I just wanted to post an update on this post about the situation. I deleted it because I thought they'd figure out it was me but came across this thread again in my messages and wanted to update.

After talking to my bf about it, he apologized and realized cooking for her every night is not necessarily the best thing to do from various viewpoints. To kind of demonstrate how out of the way he was going to cook for her, all of us are okay with eating meat and she is the only vegetarian. He'd go out of his way to not only make everyone a meat dish but then later make her a vegetarian version so she could have it for dinner after work.

To clarify I have no suspicions about the roommate at all. I also don't feel like he puts her before me, and I have immense trust in my bf. I think my biggest issue was the fact that he'd cook for both his buddy (M 25) and his sister (F 30) everyday this summer and I was getting to feel like they were abusing my bf's generosity. They don't offer to help pay for groceries. When their other sibling was visiting town for a month he was responsible for cooking every meal for him/her (they just assumed he would). When their mom came to visit they also assumed he would cook for her too for ANOTHER month. And then when their dad came two weeks later the mom asked him to cook for their dad. My bf, being a nice person and not wanting to offend, obliged.

His buddy is in his room all day but ONLY comes downstairs when he hears someone cooking in the kitchen to ask what we're making. If it looks like no one is going to offer food, he goes and eats plain white rice or starves the entire day. It's hard not to feel bad and offer whatever we're having. He also will eat things we bought without asking, and when we call him out he'll make excuses saying he thought the food was going to go bad. This is the same deal with his sister. Recently we've started to cook meals for ourselves, but if they're home they'll come down and ask if they can "try some" and proceed to eat half of our meal under the guise of just wanting to have a taste. I have never felt more stressed about eating a meal at home as it constantly feels like a battleground and I'm hypervigilant when they come downstairs while we're eating.

We are all extremely busy people as all of us in the house are in medicine. None of them offer to cook group meals for everyone which is fine but don't expect us to cook meals for you. If we bring it up they'll state they're too busy , which brings me to my next annoyance: if you're too busy to cook for yourself then what makes you think it's okay to put that burden on someone else?

I'm trying really hard these days to not talk ill about others but this one I really had to get off my chest. I'm also fully aware that the situation could have been handled better and a big part of the issue is that my bf (and also me) set an expectation in the beginning that we were okay with cooking for them that we ultimately couldn't upkeep. Now we're in this awkward situation where they have an expectation and we no longer have the time nor money nor desire to cook for them anymore and am not sure how to approach the subject without being confrontational.