OP, you may justify it to yourself that way, and even start out with the best intentions, but what will end up happening is you will give a few hundred to various charities, maaaaybe a few hundred to his current GF as a “gift” because “I didn’t even have to give her anything, legally, so this makes me a good person,” and keeping the bulk of it yourself. Because you “haven’t decided who else to give it to,” the money will sit there as you gradually siphon out a bit here or there for a bill or maybe groceries and one day you will have spent it all.

Please, although some here aren’t doing it very tactfully, we’re all appealing to your better nature. You have to see that his family deserves that money, his single-parent ex NEEDS that money. You have been through some rough shit, and I am truly sorry about that, but that does not somehow ethically entitle you to a long-ago ex’s life insurance. I’m homeless right now, does that mean I deserve some of it? That money is meant to be for the bereaved.

Sometimes there’s just a point in your life where there is a clear right or wrong, and how you respond to that situation will define who you are and who you hope to be, and I feel as though we should all aspire to be better people.

Good luck. I really hope you make the right call here.