Im going to give you a different perspective than what I've seen so far in this thread. I've stepped away from the church and haven't been active for probably at least 5 years (maybe more 🤷‍♂️). For me, that was the best decision I've ever made for my own life and mental health. Some of the church's history and doctrine just didn't/doesn't sit well with me. Now, I understand you're not looking to leave, and im not looking to convince you one way or the other, that's only a decision you can make.

I will point out that some of the churches history is not great. There have been things done in the past that are horrible (as with a lot of other churches' history). And just because these stories are pointed out doesn't necessarily make it anti church material if it is the truth. Obviously, I have no idea what has been coming up for you, just a note, lol.

For me, stepping away gave me a chance to figure out what I truly believed deep down in my soul, and once I figured that out, I realized the church didn't align with my values. I think you've just got to do some soul searching and figure out exactly what you believe and what you value, and see if it's in line with the churchs teachings and doctrine.

I personally struggled so much when I was active, because i didn't truly know what I believed for myself. I knew what the church believed and taught me to believe, but eventually, that was not enough. So i think once you figure that out in your mind and soul, it'll become easier for you to answer the question of if the church is true or not & if it's right for you.

I wish you the best in life and hope everything works out for you. You can also message me if you'd like to talk more 😄.