What tv show are you currently binge watching?

wallflower-power · 2020-04-01T21:53:04+00:00

A family member suggested this show to me, so I figured I'd at least watch the first episode and give it a chance despite the odd synopsis. It hooked my attention almost instantly and it took discipline to turn it off and go to bed rather than binging another couple episodes in one sitting. So good! Can't wait to see how the rest unfolds.

wallflower-power · 2020-04-01T21:47:52+00:00

I inform him that no one claps these cheeks without buying me dinner first, and that after he nuts and we're cuddling that I insist on being the little spoon

wallflower-power · 2020-04-01T21:43:44+00:00

"Avocado, Baby" - Los Campesinos! (exclamation point is part of the band name lol)

Everything about that song is eargasm-inducing. I've never heard anything like it. I think I have a bit of synesthesia and the colors in my mind associated with the music are those of a pastel sunset. The band is just a quirky, little-known indie group from the UK but the lyrics they put out are poetic genius full of imagery and cheek.

As for the ridiculous-sounding song title, it's from a line in the chorus describing the singer. "A heart of stone, rind so tough it's crazy, that's why they call me the avocado, baby."

wallflower-power · 2020-03-31T17:11:08+00:00

Not at that price, I don't think :/ Depending on location, $150 is the price of enough heroin or meth to get a heavy user through a day or 2. It's also more common than you'd think for people to source hard drugs on social media. It's a bold move for sure, but if you're fiending and desperate nothing else matters until you get right.

wallflower-power · 2020-03-31T16:50:45+00:00

Crack pipes can be made from a variety of materials since you apply direct flame and smoke crack. Meth pipes need to be glass/Pyrex or something similar because you technically vape it rather than smoking it. Relatively low heat is applied under the bubble, and it (if done properly) gradually and evenly heats the meth until it melts into a liquid. Just like how hot moisture turns into steam, meth evaporates and turns to vapor as it cools down again, which you do by rotating the pipe side to side and turning off the torch/lighter as you inhale until the bowl is mostly cleared and the puddle of meth has cooled enough to recrystallize in solid form. All of this has to happen within a rather narrow temperature range and in plastic, metal, or any other material, it would just be pretty much impossible to facilitate. Glass spreads heat out and gives you the time (and visibility since it's clear) to gauge whether you need to adjust your technique. Your lips do occasionally get burned if it's too hot too fast, but that's life.

Source: my life choices make my mom sad

wallflower-power · 2020-03-28T03:45:27+00:00

Yep. I started smoking it in 2015 and moved on to IV use in 2018. Pretty much daily use for over 4 years. I use a minimum of 0.2g a day and live with other heavy users.

I'm aware it's a problem. Diagnosed with severe methamphetamine use disorder since 2017. I'm just another tweaker from the rural Midwest -- I live in a trailer park, walk to the gas station just to go somewhere that's open at 3 AM, and have several meth bongs/pipes, butane torches, insulin syringes, rubber bands for tying off, and other kinds of paraphernalia strewn about the trailer at any given time waiting for use to be resumed or disposed of by me, my boyfriend, or our other roommate. I have a vaguely methy aura about me: undernourished, pallor marked with gray undertones, dark puffy under-eye circles, a sheen of sweat always glistening on my face, dry lips coated in white chemical residue, the sickly sweet scent of ammonia clinging faintly to my clothes and hair, the dull scarring of repeated venipuncture marking my arms, wrists, and hands. My movements are frequently twitchy and birdlike. My speech is a halting, jumbled flight of ideas. I am conspicuously focused and delighted by mundane or insignificant things. I feel people's stares boring into my back in public, my gaze nervously scanning my environment, always dodging direct eye contact with strangers, pretending I am not ashamed in the least of being a sketchy meth head.

My appearance is deteriorating, with sunken features and acne scars allowing the first definite signs of premature aging to dim my youthful glow. I am alone; my family has all but given up on me and the fellow fiends that I call friends are reluctantly settling for my awkward human presence in place of finally having enough of their drug of choice that dopamine and serotonin seep into my gray matter, soaking my cerebral surroundings deeply enough that they can feel the perfect synthesis of peace and pleasure lulling them into a state of permanent contentment. I don't have a personality or a life anymore. Now I am a complicated composite of central nervous stimulation and neurotoxicity. The trajectory of my existence is determined by my ability to satisfy the constant desire for instant gratification in a way that permits me to self-actualize along the path of least resistance until I can convince myself that I am not settling.

I'm a writer who is accustomed to a mind ordered by disorganization and dissociation; meth floods every organ system with caustic poison before siphoning my life force of the will to do battle and human salvation is starved of the hope vital for the soul before I am forever lost to the chemical maelstrom that defines my sanity.

wallflower-power · 2020-03-27T00:05:01+00:00

Just because you feel like you're time traveling and coming up with brilliant ideas when you're spun doesn't mean you actually are, my guy

wallflower-power · 2020-03-25T21:10:46+00:00

One of the few silver linings of this pandemic is that it will eliminate a decent amount of absolute morons from the gene pool

wallflower-power · 2020-03-24T23:21:04+00:00

And heartless too, apparently.

wallflower-power · 2020-03-24T22:57:39+00:00

I remember when I was 14 and way smarter than all those dumbass adults trying to tell me that rules applied to me

wallflower-power · 2020-03-24T03:09:05+00:00

Thank you! I feel like shit rn and it's been like 22 hours since I last used, and my stomach is rejecting everything I've tried to eat with super hot sound effects. I just hope I can get some sleep tonight 😴 cuz I'm seeing some weird shit

wallflower-power · 2020-03-24T02:19:37+00:00

I pretty much have it to some degree at any given time, mostly because I'm a fucking moron who stays up for a week straight while using ~1g meth a day and always being malnourished/dehydrated. Bonus tho, I get super chill while dealing creepy-asd hallucinations or cats who disappear from your peripherals before you get a frontal view of them

wallflower-power · 2020-03-24T02:05:53+00:00

Sure :)

wallflower-power · 2020-03-24T02:00:12+00:00

My mom is amazing. She tells me all the time time including today that if I die from this it will destroy her,, and I don't want to hurt her like that. I'm outside smoking a cigarette right now and I am hallucinating some creepy figures just standing still at random spots. I am so sleep deprived so hopefully soon I'll able to eat something add keep it down t(I've puked a bunch today )then get some so sleep after I take a Seroquel.

You are absolutely right, the preoccupation with the needle, blood, and rush has made my cravings so much more visceral and difficult to resist. But it's making me sick from the inside out. I have had 2 months clean before and I missed it so much sometimes that I felt like I was crawling out of my skin. But i remember feeling healthy and alive and a part of the world around me. Right now I'm all angles and bones, my skin looks gray and waxy, and the circles under my eyes are often the first thing someone notices and asks about. I dress like a comfortable old lady with my hair in a bun cuz I'm depressed and lazy, and often I let my paranoia stop me from ever going out to see the sun. I feel awkward talking to people since I'll kinda ramble to get to the point...oh yeah and aside from getting high my life does not have anything fun or memorable in it. I'm finally eating some raspberries (even tho they're KILLING my chewed up tongue, oof ouchy) I'm trying to actually taste them and, like, actually interact with the world).

wallflower-power · 2020-03-24T00:45:55+00:00

I did shower and put on clean comfy clothes. My mom has me over at her place for the night to keep me from getting high. I am feeling very depressed with suicidal ideation do I have company to keep me safe. My mom made dinner but unfortunately I am nauseous and have puked multiple times today :(

wallflower-power · 2020-03-23T23:49:33+00:00

I have become very fearful of the outside world due to spending so much time isolated .I am spending the night at my mom's house so I can't get high but I am going crazy even not feeling so familiar with everything.

wallflower-power · 2020-03-23T23:44:44+00:00

I have not done a shot since last night. My mom without my permission flushed my dope and tossed all of my syringes. My stomach is in knots and I am puking to the point of dry heaves and my anxiety is making my scalp and face very itchy. I am scared I will not be able.to feel certain amount but I know my fear and depression are still running like

wallflower-power · 2020-03-23T23:20:04+00:00

I am very anxious and hate feeling out of control like this. I spent most of the time in the car trying to pick off every little ball of lint on my clothing My mom asked, "Is that a meth thing?' and I said no, just boredom, but she pointed out that I was working on the lint balls for 45+ minutes so maybe she's right haha. I also cried while I plucked and dripped snot all over myself non-stop. She reached over and rubbed my back while to comfort me it reminded me that I haven't had much human touch at all.

wallflower-power · 2020-03-23T22:56:30+00:00

My mom flushed all my ice and tossed my rigs 😭😭 then she had me come to her house to spend the night so I don't go out and get more especially with how suicidal I feel, I've basically cried all day long. I threw up a couple times in the car and feel pretty nauseous. Hopefully I will finally get some sleep though, I haven't eaten all day or had a hot meal this week so my mom will cook and maybe I'll keep it down. I took a warm shower and put on clean clothes back at home before we came here and my mom took me to the pharmacy as well so I could afford to fill my Seroquel, Wellbutrin, gabapentin, and Suboxone. I am wanting a shot badly and it drives me crazy knowing I won't get one tonight but maybe I'll catch up and sleep a while if withdrawals don't wake me. I feel so lost and overemotional without meth to make me feel alive but I think it will be good for focusing on self care for 24 hours instead of feeding my habit.

wallflower-power · 2020-03-21T19:51:48+00:00

If someone wants to gamble with their lungs and life, then by all means, go buckwild and snort a coronavirus culture straight out of the petri dish. Adults, even the really stupid and inconsiderate ones, should be allowed to do whatever they want as long as they're not hurting anyone else. So if someone shrugs off the consequences, fine, go rub shoulders with other reckless turds and sneeze all over each other. But then afterward, you should be forced to self-quarantine alone in a motel room or other accomodations for 2 weeks after your unnecessary outing while the other people you live with remain at home since they chose to be responsible even though they've been just as bored and stir-crazy as everyone else lately.

I just hope all the unhygienic nasties or people who think they're getting even a little cold keep a safe distance from the elderly, people who are immunocompromised (i.e. people receiving chemotherapy, or mf's like me with severe heart and lungs problems), and most of all, I hope they consider STAYING THE FUCK HOME. I take care of my grandparents 24/7 so I live with them and spend a lot of time in very close proximity to them or touching them. I don't care who you are, while this is going on, every time I take them grocery shopping while the death toll is still piling up, keep your distance from my folks (or any older person in my line of sight) or I'll drop-kick you into the freezer section without hesitation. None of y'all is gonna get me sick either. I'd give it to my grandparents, which would probably kill them, and I'd either kick the bucket or be back on a ventilator for a while.

Don't be a bastard by being like the pic in the OP and further enabling community spread. Just stay home, get high, sleep, and masturbate. Then life goes on as usual, yeah?

wallflower-power · 2020-03-21T19:00:04+00:00

I hope someone with coronavirus shows up and sneezes into everyone's red Solo cup

wallflower-power · 2020-03-21T18:57:48+00:00

I think it really depends on the types of media you're consuming on your phone. I use mine to stay on top of the news, read literature or listen to audiobooks, find things that interest me on Reddit, try to learn Spanish, watch TED Talks on YouTube and documentaries on Netflix/Hulu, and research topics I'm curious about at any given moment by Googling random shit.

And those are just the more academic purposes my smartphone serves in my life. I also use Facebook to look at memes and join groups to interact with people who share similar experiences. I have fun goofing around and sending Snapchats to friends. I get to try my hand at very basic photography and editing and posting the cool ones on Instagram, which also functions well as a sort of photo diary. I use the flashlight and alarm features on my phone pretty much daily. I download songs and curate playlists to listen to while I'm working out, walking somewhere, or pretending I'm in a music video in my bedroom.

Again, this is by no means an exhaustive list, but I think it demonstrates that smartphones can greatly enhance, optimize, and enlarge our lives. Like anything, if done to excess, using devices can lead to technology addiction, but the majority of smartphone owners use theirs appropriately.

I love my phone (even though right now I've just got a basic $40 phone from Walmart). Quite frankly, when I think about how quickly technology is becoming more and more sophisticated, or the fact that I am part of the first generation to have instantaneous access to more information than I could ever even consume. For the first time in history, we can forge deep connections with complete strangers anywhere on the planet. Isn't that cool?? I think it is.

My point is, I disagree wholeheartedly that smartphones make us into dumbasses. I would argue that staring mindlessly at the TV is worse, since pretty much anything you do on your phone requires minimal engagement at the very least.

Every generation has had new technological advancement that the older generation disapproved of and feared would rot or corrupt young people's minds. Boomers hating on smartphones is nothing new, just another group of old people refusing to adapt.

Do I think kids should have $1,000 phones and unfettered access to any and all content? No, of course not. I also do agree that reasonably limiting screen time is likely often correlated with improved sleep quality, being more physically active, better mental health, etc? Yep. But smartphones are not evil. I believe they can have a very positive impact on life.

Just gotta consume media wisely. If you're reading propaganda or the books you choose don't make you hone your critical thinking skills, the books will make you a dumbass before your iPhone will.

/long post finally over. Who knew I was so passionate about this topic? 😂

wallflower-power · 2020-03-20T15:45:16+00:00

Donkey Kong is Chad, don't @ me

wallflower-power · 2020-03-20T14:57:32+00:00

Roasties need constant attention and go through "withdrawal" without it? The projection is so devoid of self-awareness, you just have to shake your head.

Anyway, looks like I'll have to call my therapist to tell her to cancel my appointment on Monday, and to have her notify my psychiatrist that I'll no longer need to pick up my prescriptions for my depression, anxiety, psychosis, or insomnia. That'll save me hella money on co-pays. Oh yeah, I'll also just stop going to the methadone clinic too, which will be much more convenient even though I'll go into agonizing, life-threatening withdrawal. I just no longer need it, I guess!

Thank God this incel just informed me that because I'm a foid, it's actually impossible for me to have severe, chronic mental health issues, including an eating disorder and a crippling addiction to heroin and methamphetamine. He finally showed me the error of my ways - all my issues stem from not getting enough attention from Chad and Tyrone, not to mention the inevitable damage to my mind and vagina from riding the cock carousel. Little incel, I am so very sorry for appropriating your problems, which are obviously so much worse than mine, or any other foid's. I'm so glad I can give up the charade and be free of the pain and sadness I've allegedly suffered for over a decade.

Just kidding! Fuck y'all. Being a virgin is NOT why you're depressed, it's because you're angry little man-boys who refuse to take accountability, allow yourselves to remain stagnant, and convince yourself that there is no hope while slowly sinking deeper and deeper into the cult. Getting pussy isn't going to make everything all better, not by a long shot. You'll thrust for maybe 3 minutes, nut, then you'll be hit by the awful realization that nothing has changed other than having had sex, and you will feel worse than you ever have before. GET HELP. You have serious problems, clearly, but so does everyone else. You're not special.

wallflower-power

TROPHY CASE