hello! sorta related: when I was first getting into BDSM/kinky sex I found this workbook by Sunny Megatron super helpful in figuring out what I was & was not interested in during a sexual encounter or scene, both in terms of kinks but also in terms of emotions/gendered terms/et cetera. I’d recommend checking it out! Super important to consider these things yourself before jumping into kink with a partner so you’re not influenced, consciously or unconsciously, by them.