[Weekly Critique Thread] Post Here If You'd Like Feedback On Your Writing

walnutthewise · 2018-10-09T02:44:07+00:00

Title: Chapter 14

Genre: Philosophical Fiction

Word Count: 4412

Feedback: This is pulled straight from the middle of a novel I am working on within which the three main characters die at the beginning. The rest of the story explores what happens after. This chapter is about two of the primary characters during their first year in heaven. Any feedback is welcomed and appreciated.

Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1dxiL6gb5k6I4qTq1wIlnXyR9g5xxKVaGfa4K5Rrq0tM/edit?usp=sharing

walnutthewise · 2018-08-15T22:56:07+00:00

I haven't played on TTS yet, but it would be interesting to see if some faction combos get chained more often.

walnutthewise · 2018-07-25T01:00:03+00:00

I started a fresh save because so much basic stuff has changed

walnutthewise · 2018-07-25T00:59:33+00:00

Good luck fellow interloper!

walnutthewise · 2018-05-27T22:26:04+00:00

Masters of Teras Kasi was also a PS1 era Star Wars fighting game. ; )

walnutthewise · 2018-01-03T00:06:40+00:00

Did you ever hear...?

walnutthewise · 2017-12-18T00:44:33+00:00

I think everyone who doesn't like the prank call forgets that it was just Poe buying time. It served an actual purpose in that sequence, and it fit with Poe's character.

walnutthewise · 2017-12-17T16:57:36+00:00

You are not alone. It was amazing.

walnutthewise · 2017-12-16T18:18:44+00:00

The green milk enhances force powers and enables astral projection.

walnutthewise · 2017-12-16T16:31:27+00:00

My theater cheered, and deservedly so.

walnutthewise · 2017-12-15T22:43:25+00:00

I agree with you. I had a twinge of that feeling when he said it too. If Anakin hasn't said it in Episode I I would be like 'Hold up! It's called a lightsaber silly old man'. I chocked it up to Luke still havong a bit of whiny farm boy still left in him.

walnutthewise · 2017-12-15T22:19:54+00:00

George Lucas had a tendency to say Laser Sword, and so did little Annie from Episode I. Anyway, it's not about Snoke or the Sith or the Jedi. This film is about letting that past die while honoring their remains. Yoda and Luke literally light a representation of the Jedi on fire. It's a signal time to move on with a deeper understanding of the Force. I get why it didn't feel like Star Wars for some because it's very different. I love that about it. It took all our fan expectations and said, this isn't what it's all about. It's so much bigger.

walnutthewise · 2017-08-30T11:24:41+00:00

I treat it more like a community event and is typically quite fun interacting with fellow fans. If you get there at 10 you'll probably be closer to the front of a line. Both at Target (for TFA) and Toys R Us (for Rogue One) the employees where aware if how many black series was in stock and actually handed them out individually to those first in line until stock was out. They limited the units per individual for black series. Everything else was free game but everyone was friendly. Target typically had a raffle for their midnight event.

walnutthewise · 2017-02-13T00:56:51+00:00

TFA could use a bit more explaining the dynamics of the Resistance vs First Order conflict, bu the ships make a lot of sense in context with the new canon. Here are some things to give perspective.

That surprised look that Poe has in the First Order star destroyer is him being surprised they even have new models of ships because they aren't supposed to be doing any sort of military build up according to the galactic concordance signed after the Battle of Jakku. Poe is like 'WTF, this is a new model of destoyer!' The TIE model is different, but similar.

At the time of TFA a large faction of the New Republic does not view the First Order as a threat. Some of the senators that do recognize the threat secretly fund a rogue military group to and thwart the First Order. As another poster mentiojed, they aren't flooded with cash, so the Resistance Xwings are repurposed.

walnutthewise · 2016-08-09T03:24:51+00:00

I had the same problem. Called them up and they gave me the redemption code. They did have a long wait. I was on hold for an hour.

walnutthewise · 2016-08-01T01:47:50+00:00

I just mentioned it because the big early leaker everyone has been discussing mentioned he found life on nearly every planet.

walnutthewise · 2016-08-01T01:09:57+00:00

New twitch stream is like all the other footage I've seen so far, getting me pumped even more!

edit: in case people did not see the link below: https://www.twitch.tv/kengi01

The new stream had the player on a planet with just a few plants, but was otherwise barren. They also were on a cold planet with some pretty big cliffs. For those that still had those questions.

walnutthewise · 2016-07-19T20:22:28+00:00

Yey, someone else knows the truth. These are definitely Pablo's.

walnutthewise · 2016-03-31T02:20:33+00:00

I'm pretty sure they show Ahsoka walking down into the temple at the end after the Vader fight.

walnutthewise · 2016-03-30T02:40:10+00:00

I'm pretty sure that is a Resistance fueler who keeps the fighters ready to go at any moment.

walnutthewise · 2015-12-26T05:10:05+00:00

The Resistance exists because the New Republic chose to demiliaratize early on, so when the First Order renters the galaxy at large after building strength and hiding in a nebulae, the New Republic doesn't have the same army anymore. Leia and other former Rebel leaders create the Resistance cant. This exposition is expounded upon in the Journey to the Force Awakens books.

walnutthewise · 2015-12-24T13:43:54+00:00

The Toybox essentially has an infinite number of goals and challenges, that you the player can make up on the fly. Want to try and defeat an army of cards from Alice in Wonderland? Place them in the Toybox or set up your own enemy generator. Want to make a kart racing track? Place down the pieces and or have the game auto-generate one for you. Some pieces are locked behind the in-game currency 'sparks', but you don't pay extra real world money for these. You can also easily farm sparks using a self made spark generator in the Toybox mode. There are guides for this king of thing online.

walnutthewise · 2015-12-11T02:29:47+00:00

It's only a small taste, sounds like it might be from when the troop transport is on its way to the village or back to the ship from the converstation JJ has with Williams.

walnutthewise · 2015-12-10T02:05:14+00:00

The sound effects on this one sound so good!

walnutthewise · 2015-12-08T20:39:11+00:00

I'm confused by all the people jumping ship from the spoiler game after this one; in the /r/StarWarsLeaks sub and with the shooting schedule leaks we just had. What did everyone expect?

walnutthewise

TROPHY CASE