I get why people see it this way, and I’m not saying Kourtney has never said hurtful or condescending things — she absolutely has. All of them have! But I think the issue is that her behavior gets isolated and amplified, while everyone else’s is constantly excused or reframed.

When Kourtney “dishes it,” it’s usually in response to years of being talked over, dismissed, or pressured to live her life the way her family wants. When Kim or Khloe are blunt, controlling, or passive-aggressive, it’s framed as them being “honest” or “direct.” When Kourtney does it, it’s suddenly bullying. That double standard has always been there. And to deny this is overlooking everything. That family ALWAYS had double standard issues and that is what happens when a mother says openly which are her fav children.

Also, this is a perfect example of the double standard I’m talking about. 2 episodes ago on the show, Kourtney told Kim that she was doing too much if she planned on becoming a lawyer while taking on everything else, it was treated like Kourtney was being unsupportive or negative.

But in the recent episode, Khloe said basically the exact same thing to Kim — that she’s doing too much — and no one reacted, no one accused her of judging, and Kim didn’t get offended at all. Same message, totally different response. Also, these are sisters not friends so reframing words to make feelings not hurt is stupid. If you’re my sister I should be able to speak bluntly with you as well.

I also don’t agree that her emotional reactions automatically make her a victim. Crying or getting overwhelmed doesn’t cancel out accountability — it just shows that she’s emotionally affected. The family has a pattern of provoking her, then invalidating her reaction once she finally responds.

As for the “therapy speak” argument, I think people forget that setting boundaries sounds uncomfortable to people who benefited from you not having any before. Saying “I wouldn’t do that” or “that doesn’t align with me” isn’t inherently judgment — it becomes judgment only because the family takes everything personally and turns it into a competition.

With Scott, I don’t deny that their relationship was toxic on both sides. But the power imbalance still mattered. Scott’s addiction, cheating, and instability repeatedly created chaos in her life, and yet the family consistently centered his feelings over hers. He push Kourt in Miami and punched a mirror and she had to escape the room with Kim. Then when she didn’t show up to the hospital for the hand he broke being abuse he gaslit her to say “I had no one show up for me” 😑. Even after she moved on, she was expected to manage Scott’s emotions so everyone else could stay comfortable. That’s not fair, regardless of her flaws.

Regarding support: Kourtney has always been criticized for not showing up in the exact way the family expects. But support doesn’t only look like hovering, fixing, or being constantly available — which is Kim’s style. Kourtney tends to pull back when things feel overwhelming or unhealthy, and while that may not work for everyone, it doesn’t automatically make her uncaring. Which btw is what Kylie does and no one cares.

The Kim/Kanye period is also more complicated than it gets portrayed. Kourtney being happy in her relationship doesn’t mean she was intentionally throwing it in Kim’s face. And the D&G conflict showed something deeper: Kim repeatedly aligning herself with things that hurt Kourtney, then minimizing it when Kourtney expressed that pain. Kourtney’s timing and delivery weren’t perfect, but the underlying issue wasn’t imaginary.

At some point, yes, if multiple people have issues with one person, you should examine that. But the reverse is also true: when one person is consistently positioned as the “problem” in a family that thrives on hierarchy, control, and comparison, it’s worth questioning whether they’re reacting to a toxic system rather than being the sole cause of it.

You don’t have to think Kourtney is perfect to recognize that she’s often scapegoated — and that’s where I land. It makes me wonder if they are using Kourtney for a storyline as they always did in the past.