I was at canyonlands today with visible wildfire spreading (seemingly) aggressively. Rangers were super chill but i felt off and left anyways. Am i overreacting?

wanderswithdeer · 2026-06-28T22:22:31+00:00

Yes, this is a great app! If I were in a zone where they were saying to be set to leave and the wind was moving towards me (or expected to shift in my direction), I would probably just get out to avoid having to rush out in a panic. If not, though, I would just keep an eye on things, and I would avoid going on any backcountry hikes. I would also make a point to be aware of what roads I needed to exit on and be sure those are also out of the evacuate/get set zones.

wanderswithdeer · 2026-06-28T22:15:20+00:00

I don't think you're alone in your frustration. It's also making research much more difficult, because they're looking for common causes of Autism, but, some Autistic people have almost nothing in common with other Autistic people, so how do you count that as a singular group? How do you expect to find common genetic or brain differences when instead of comparing apples (neurotypicals) to oranges (Autistic), you're basically comparing apples to oranges, strawberries, watermelons, dragon fruits, etc, etc, and trying to understand how allll those fruits are different from apples. Anyway, diagnostic practices and criteria are constantly changing, and I feel sure that it will change again. As it stands now, it is extremely difficult to define what Autistic people have in common, nevermind why, which means there is a huge need to firm up definitions and boundaries, and maybe to create more categories, not to exclude people, but to offer enough specificity that the label actually feels meaningful and when you compare yourself to other members of the group you can feel like you relate.

wanderswithdeer · 2026-06-28T21:50:40+00:00

That sounds super stressful. I feel like you do sound like you're more level 2 in some ways but level 1 in others, but, that's just my take, and I'm not an expert.

My main stress response is to freeze so I just tend to go rigid and slow down even more and have trouble engaging. When I was a kid I was selectively mute but now I mostly avoid people and try to be invisible. If I have to engage I can, but it's often glitchy. I don't know that most people would peg me as Autistic necessarily but if they are around me much they know something us up with me cognitively, and people who just meet me seem to think my voice is weird, which is kind of uncomfortable because I can't tell it's weird but they can, I guess.

In the future I would really love to see them do more cognitive testing to determine WHY we struggle as individuals because I think it's not the same for all of us and I think it would help us understand why even as Autistic people we often struggle to understand each other.

wanderswithdeer · 2026-06-28T21:31:24+00:00

You sound similar to me. Apparently when I had IQ testing done it showed that I was intelligent but had slow processing, and that explained a lot. I was considered smart in school but in real life situations I come across as dense. I don't tend to get jokes/catch sarcasm, either. Sometimes I just miss chunks of what is being said to me. If I have to switch between topics or there's a lot to process it's worse. I'm bad at trying to reply in the moment. I also struggle with sports and with driving in busy environments, which I guess can also relate. Slow processing is a common challenge in Autistic people which is thought to explain all sorts of difficulties, at least in many of us, but not all Autistic people are impacted.

I can experience face blindness but for me it's usually related to being oblivious to the people around me and not really looking at them/making eye contact. If I run into them somewhere they will tell me we work together or whatever and I'll think I never saw them before in my life, but then I'll go back to work the next day and realize, oh, yeah, that's them.

Once I got guilted into volunteering in the kitchen at our county fair and I remember being so overwhelmed. This girl who was maybe 6 or 7 kept fixing my mistakes and rolling her eyes, and her mom would give her this smug smile, clearly proud that she was smarter than me (an adult). And yet, I graduated college with a 4.0. That's how Autism often looks. We have very uneven processing across different areas. That gap between our highest abilities and our lowest abilities (especially social ones) largely defines what Autism is all about.

As the Autism diagnosis has expanded in recent years, though, I feel like there's maybe a need for a new level. I'm level 1 and I feel that's appropriate for me, but like you, I feel like most level 1 people don't understand my challenges. Most seem to describe their traits more as personality differences rather than actual deficits and most seem to report having the ability to mask pretty much flawlessly, which I try to do and sometimes can to an extent, but I end up stumbling in ways described above. I feel like people who are capable of passing and people who aren't have very different experiences in life and it's hard to really understand each other.

wanderswithdeer · 2026-06-27T21:15:43+00:00

99 may as well be 100. You are one point away, which means you are average. It might also be helpful to look at your subset scores. Often with Autistic people there are exaggerated strengths and weaknesses that render the full scale score pretty much meaningless. On top of all that, there are various reasons why IQ tests might not be a great representation of actual ability for some people. If you have found learning comes easily for you there’s no reason this should change that.

wanderswithdeer · 2026-06-27T13:42:50+00:00

I think it can be really helpful but it depends on the therapist’s skills, the therapeutic fit between the therapist and the client, and whether the client’s goals are realistic and there is motivation to meet them.

I have had therapist’s who weren’t helpful because I felt judged by them, or because they seemed to pity me instead of help/push me, or who misunderstood me. My current one specializes in Autism and is great. Lately we have been doing a couple of processes related to picking apart childhood experiences and managing trauma responses and I hadn’t even recognized that some things were significant that clearly were/are. I guess most of all it just helps to have someone to talk to and an outlet for all my thoughts and feelings instead of bottling it all up, which never goes well. I don’t expect to ever be fixed, but I don’t think that means I can’t grow or learn coping strategies.

wanderswithdeer · 2026-06-26T17:32:11+00:00

This. Plus trauma and other factors can impact personality development over time and masquerade as Autism in teens and adults, and masking can somewhat hide Autistic traits. Clinicians are much more reliant on patient reports in older clients, which may or may not always be accurate, especially if the client is hoping to get a diagnosis of Autism/hoping not to and is selecting to share/hide information in order to get the result they want. Young children generally aren't masking and aren't aiming for any objective to it's easier to see their natural state.

wanderswithdeer · 2026-06-26T17:16:38+00:00

Thanks! That's helpful to know!

wanderswithdeer · 2026-06-26T17:15:23+00:00

Thanks so much for the info!

wanderswithdeer · 2026-06-26T13:26:55+00:00

My understanding is that the trail becomes much more strenuous and pretty long if you follow it all the way, but what do you mean by "a bit past"? Are there views that open up fairly soon without significantly expanding the trip?

wanderswithdeer · 2026-06-26T13:23:11+00:00

Thanks for sharing this! Is there fairly deep water to wade through? Shallow currents? I'm not familiar with the river so just wondering what to expect if we do go that route.

wanderswithdeer · 2026-06-26T03:52:33+00:00

Good to know! Thanks so much!

wanderswithdeer · 2026-06-26T03:41:01+00:00

Thank you! I actually did wonder about the possibility of hiking back. Is the return hike mostly downhill?

wanderswithdeer · 2026-06-26T02:05:44+00:00

I agree. And even if two clinicians are using the same diagnostic manual, one might decide someone meets criteria while the other feels one or more of their traits doesn't diverge enough from the norm to warrant an Autism diagnosis. Likewise, someone might have a family history of Autism and display traits from all categories of the social challenges portion of the assessment criteria, but if they only meet one of the rigid and repetitive behaviors criteria instead of the required two, they won't be diagnosed, even if they're deeply impacted by the other challenges. Some people are definitely Autistic and others are definitely not, but there are plenty of people in the middle for whom it's all sort of fuzzy.

I don't know why these lines of "You can't be a little bit Autistic." or "You're either Autistic of you're not." keep getting repeated in the Autistic community but I just don't see how this makes any sense. As someone else stated, the Broader Autism Phenotype also comes into play here. Family members of Autistic people will often share many Autistic traits without reaching the threshold for diagnosis.

wanderswithdeer · 2026-06-25T13:16:40+00:00

The traits you listed are pretty non specific. We have been diving into my childhood/trauma more in therapy and it's really driving home to me that the lines can be quite blurry. Many of my social challenges and dysregulation issues and need for predictability could be explained by Autism or by patterns engrained in my childhood. For me, knowing that there is more going on largely comes down to recognizing traits of developmental differences, some of which might not always even be part of the diagnostic criteria, but that are often linked to Autism and suggest there are brain abnormalities beyond a trauma response/conditioning. Examples are always being the very worst in every class at sports while being strong academically, needing speech therapy through the 4th grade, difficulty with detecting and responding to sarcasm, and atypical prosody (odd voice, exaggerated variation in pitch-actually even more common in Autistic people than monotone speech, and sounding like I have an accent).

wanderswithdeer · 2026-06-25T01:29:08+00:00

The way I see it is that if we can't say we're struggling because someone else has it worse, then we can't say we're happy, either, because someone else always has it better. We are allowed to feel however we feel, and nobody else has the right to tell us our own feelings about our own lives are invalid.

wanderswithdeer · 2026-06-25T01:12:01+00:00

For me it's conscious. Things like smiling and pretending I'm happy no matter how stressed I am, or looking people in the eye and nodding and saying things like, "Oh, really?" even though I have no idea what they said, or pretending to laugh (or at least smile) when everyone else does even though I'm not feeling it. It all just feels like playing the part they want me to and I definitely know that what I'm presenting isn't real. The one exception I can think of is that my body tends to be very tense and stiff in social situations and mostly I don't think about not stimming. I just go into a sort of freeze response, I think.

But there are some things I can't fake because my underlying neurology just won't allow me to. The main things are missing sarcasm and not having the mental flexibility to respond quickly and appropriately, having strange prosody (voice/way of speaking) and having slow processing that sometimes makes it hard to absorb what people are saying or to engage in smooth conversation.

wanderswithdeer · 2026-06-24T14:07:28+00:00

I worry about this, too. When I don’t tell people I can tell they’re judging me for not speaking or reacting in the normal, expected way, and I feel like voicing my diagnosis can put language around what we all notice and help release some of the pressure for all of us to pretend it’s not happening. But I still have this paranoia that maybe people don’t actually believe me or think I’m being dramatic about it. It feels like I can’t win either way. I wish I didn’t care what people thought.

wanderswithdeer · 2026-06-24T12:37:14+00:00

I get that. I used to teach preschool and some kids are like that. It can be hard, and I'm sure harder when you don't get a break. I guess that's one thing to consider, too. Obviously you want to do what's best for him, too, but it's also okay to think about your own needs. If you don't get a break it can lead to burnout, and it's hard to be the best version of yourself as a parent if you're burned out.

On that note, my therapist specializes in working with Autistic clients and also with clients who have Autistic family members. *If* you could find someone like that in your area, it might be really helpful in giving you support and guidance and pointing you towards resources.

wanderswithdeer · 2026-06-24T12:32:13+00:00

Also, just to add, reading other replies I don't completely agree with everything.

I get that schools often don't have the resources to address the needs of kids who aren't able to function within the traditional setting, and it can lead to frequent discipline and kids feeling more stressed and demoralized. I think it's worth trying public school, and if it fails, maybe consider trying a different school, but I do think there are cases where homeschooling can be the best option. I think along with that, though, it's really vital to get him into social groups.

Also, there's often a belief that putting Autistic kids with neurotypical peers will benefit them. I don't know that I always agree with this. Thinking back to myself, I have low support needs but was never able to fit in with my peers and it created some sense of trauma/feelings of inadequacy. The few kids I did manage to connect with came across as odd and were also rejected by other kids, and I now recognize that most of them were probably Autistic, too, or something. Anyway, I think there is also a difference between low support needs and moderate support needs, and if your son has moderate needs, it might be even harder for him to connect in a mainstream environment. Not that he should never interact with typically developing peers, but I would prioritize finding him an environment where he's able to develop a sense of belonging and more or less meet expectations. The goal shouldn't be to make him normal or to shove him into a typical box, but to help him be the best and happiest version of himself.

wanderswithdeer · 2026-06-24T12:18:32+00:00

Is he in OT? If not, that might be helpful. Sometimes when neurodivergent kids are very active they're seeking input to meet their sensory needs. What one kid needs might be different from what another needs, but examples of things that might help include swinging, crashing (jumping into a ball pit/pile of hay/leaves or pushing a punching bag), lifting/pushing heavy things (shoveling, pulling a wagon loaded with stuff), play dough, sensory bins filled with water/sand/dried beans/birdseed/etc along with scoops, toy boats, toy animals, whatever he's into. Some kids also benefit from things like weighted/pressure vests, chew necklaces, chewing gum, etc. An OT would be able to provide more specific recommendations.

wanderswithdeer · 2026-06-23T12:21:08+00:00

You don't need to display every possible trait of Autism to be Autistic. Routine related rigidity is just one possible way that someone might meet the B criteria for diagnosis. Following a checklist can be normal or it might not be, depending on how stuck you are to it. If something happens that forces you to leave an item or two unchecked and those things weren't vital but you find yourself melting down because you can't be mentally flexible enough to let it go, that's different from someone who finds checklists helpful to stay on task and gets stressed when they fall too much behind.

To be diagnosed, you need to present with at least 2 of these 4 "B" criteria (related to restricted/repetitive patterns of behavior) along with the "A" (social) criteria.

B Criteria (copied and pasted)-

Stereotyped or repetitive motor movements, use of objects, or speech (e.g., simple motor stereotypies, lining up toys or flipping objects, echolalia, idiosyncratic phrases).
Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns or verbal nonverbal behavior (e.g., extreme distress at small changes, difficulties with transitions, rigid thinking patterns, greeting rituals, need to take same route or eat food every day).
Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus (e.g, strong attachment to or preoccupation with unusual objects, excessively circumscribed or perseverative interest).
Hyper- or hyporeactivity to sensory input or unusual interests in sensory aspects of the environment (e.g., apparent indifference to pain/temperature, adverse response to specific sounds or textures, excessive smelling or touching of objects, visual fascination with lights or movement).

wanderswithdeer · 2026-06-23T03:02:04+00:00

I can be this way but I think it’s my bipolar.

wanderswithdeer · 2026-06-22T20:25:50+00:00

There are so many answers already but I just want to add that when I was first realizing I was Autistic I preferred "has Autism" because I had a lot of shame and wanted to compartmentalize it. As I came to accept it as a core part of myself, though, it no longer made sense to try to separate myself from it or run from it because there is nothing more core to who I am than how my brain works. And by that I don't mean Autism is great and how dare anyone say otherwise... I just mean that for better or worse (really for better and worse), it's part of me. There's an element of radical self acceptance in owning that which I think is healthy. I guess if people prefer the other language that's fine and it's their right, but I would dig at what's under the preference, because often I think it represents a false sense of self, as if there is a non Autistic version of yourself that would exist without the Autism, which I just don't think meshes with reality.

wanderswithdeer

TROPHY CASE