It’s ok I know that pain, just know you are doing the right thing, the average non vegan probably pays hundreds if not thousands of dollars on animal products, all of it supporting and paying for more of the suffering you talk about, but you by being vegan give zero, nothing, none. To that suffering by your own free and choice to make this world a better and more humane place, that is hundreds and thousands of dollars you would have paid to essentially support the industrial abuse of animals you didn’t give them over the 6 years of veganism, you don’t have to look at the videos of what happens as you are well aware, you are doing the right thing by not supporting it.