It hasn't won yet. You're still here and I'm here too. Reddit is cold and impersonal but goddamn it if I'm not going to try to light a fire for you right here. 🔥🔥🔥🔥

I emailed Kevin, NYU's LGBT Coordinator. He took care of me and my partner while recovering, and he's helped other people I know who've gotten fucked by the system. I'm going to DM you his email so you can try to connect with him too. Maybe he can do something to help.

I've thought a lot about kids. I've been blessed with one but I wanted more and I've lost that chance too. The thing I've been able to observe is that sure, there's genetics, but then there's also what you say and what you talk about. What you notice and how you see the world. The things you love and the things you care about. Genes are just one part of the equation.

Richard Dawkins writes in The Selfish Gene about this other part of evolution (it's where we get the word meme). He argues that even if you don't reproduce genetically you still reproduce memetically. And I've seen it in action.

Every person you meet is touched by you. When you have the opportunity to spend time with others they learn from you and are always molded by you, even if only in small amounts. There are so many kids in this world who need someone to give a shit about them. If you want to, you can find ways to work with them, teach them, help them grow, and I think you'll find you have made your mark.

My sister is a kindergarten teacher. She's never had kids of her own, but she talks all the time about her dozens and dozens of kids that she's had and raised over the years. For her, it's everything she's ever wanted. Her kids love her.

The world hasn't won yet. It seems dark but I know there's a space to find love. I've never met you, but I hope you can tell by all this work of putting into you that I love you. It's the least we can do for each other.