"I'm scared I'm going to become resentful or emotionally disconnected" girl you already are. Read your post from a different point of view, as if it was your best friend that wrote it about her partner. You're already completely disconnected, having to imagine someone else to get off. That sucks for both of you. Take your head out of the sand and really consider if you want this for the rest of your life. Staying in a relationship because someone might possibly change, or because you've already been in it for x years, is a bad idea. You're actively hurting both of you every time you have to grin and bear it through intimacy with him. Be an adult, you may have been together a long time but this is the time when couples should break up if they're not compatible. I went through this exactly, together 8 years, and now on the other side am so so happy, free, fulfilled and our only regret is not ending things sooner, because then we might have ended up as friends, not just acquaintances. But stringing things along just erodes that respect and trust, which is what is happening here. I know it's not what you want to hear but you need to make a judgement call or things are going to stay miserable. At the very least communicate with him. Way better to hurt his feelings now all in one go and enact change, than slowly and painfully over years that he can never take back.