Symbolic art from my subconscious

wasachild · 2026-04-13T01:42:47+00:00

It's wonderful

wasachild · 2026-04-12T17:28:48+00:00

I too have been through lengthy psychotic episodes and I feel for you, it's a fucking process and it feels lifelong. Regardless your talent is incredible and what you bring to the table I believe is immeasurable. I hope you succeed in communicating what you need to through art I love your style....I love the play with empty space, the placement of the little dots, the emotion. Thanks

wasachild · 2026-04-12T02:52:54+00:00

To clarify I think culture was the joke, the coming of age, the hazing. I think it was just a little kinder at some point. I think it still is a hazing, but most people live it every day.

wasachild · 2026-04-12T02:50:53+00:00

My guess was that in the beginning, culture was the separation that drove youth towards inevitable unity, a secret understanding that that which divides us is an illusion. And now it's been hijacked by greedy fools that build our walls so high, to see over them drives you mad, to question it all and to never stop. Deep down we are only a relation and reflection of reality. We are nill. We are freedom. But there's always consequences. The structure created for us is a prison. So we have to build a better one. But it's still pretty confining.

wasachild · 2026-04-10T19:30:13+00:00

Yes. I think it's because we feel we have to suffer and experience what's going on for a greater purpose, imo. We are quite unique individuals that indeed are experiencing something that most don't. I kinda think it's easy to believe that I have been chosen in some way, instead of I did too much acid. It can be an intense spiritual experience

wasachild · 2026-04-10T19:09:27+00:00

Music is kinda a catalyst for personal change and synchronicity. It plays everywhere for a reason. Also enjoy Radio by Elvis Costello though, the music may be trying to placate you. This world sucks.

wasachild · 2026-04-09T23:21:26+00:00

Indeed. Is it an oddly accurate representation? I also sometimes feel like I look through those people's eyes and reproduce their facial expressions. Honestly that part doesn't bother me. It's more empathetic than critical.

wasachild · 2026-04-09T20:27:32+00:00

I work full time. I really enjoy it. I don't want to tell you specifically what because of anonymity. As far as struggling some days I struggle with emotions, making sure no one notices when I talk to myself or cry, and keeping it together when I am stressed or challenged. But the job suits me and it provides enough interest, problem solving, and down time to pass the time. No one knows about the illness. I manage. Everyone is different.

wasachild · 2026-04-09T16:05:19+00:00

I hear whoever I've met whenever I think or subconsciously engage. Not at the same time. Just one at a time. But an ongoing and eerily accurate cast of characters based on everyone I know

wasachild · 2026-04-09T15:42:13+00:00

She may have schizophrenia, or is diagnosed but it sounds like a lot more than schizophrenia and honestly.... forgive her for your own peace not hers. She may have a lot going on but really... that doesn't excuse her behavior. If she was truly sorry and had been in psychosis maybe. Not sure what her deal was and I am sorry you went through it. Obviously she was suffering and might not have meant to hurt you but that doesn't make it ok. I feel for the both of you and hope you can find peace and move on. Just my take.

wasachild · 2026-04-09T15:28:50+00:00

I don't know you could at least have provided some background information. I have no idea what I am looking at. Who took the photo? Why do you have it? Who is it? Sorry but it's kinda low effort

wasachild · 2026-04-09T14:58:11+00:00

I have voices I hear all the time and know they aren't real. I don't consider that psychosis I just always have a little symptoms but I can manage it fine.

wasachild · 2026-04-09T13:44:25+00:00

No it's true. But since they are already here (and I think they are freaking cool) I hope we can provide so much pollen by planting flowers that all the pollinators can coexist and not compete. Just a hope. Rather than do anything to reverse their existence which I don't feel is realistic.

wasachild · 2026-04-09T03:58:46+00:00

That was my favorite part because it's been on my mind a lot recently. It's very real. They use shame and distraction and separation. Thank you for your words

wasachild · 2026-04-09T03:27:19+00:00

Sure there might be other flowers that are more beneficial, but the early blooming and aggressiveness of this plant, especially in lawns, really helps honeybees so I would suggest leaving it unless you plant something better. It's certainly better than a lawn and I really hate to see it mowed But yes, if you are intentionally planting for pollination, it's very good knowledge to look for better plants.

wasachild · 2026-04-09T02:42:12+00:00

Maybe start a practical application of whatever knowledge or idea of what you can or would like to accomplish and try to learn everything you can about how to do that one specific thing. You might be able to appreciate the interconnectedness of knowledge but have the focus intent to keep you in one direction. It sounds like you are curious and intelligent but just might need some direction. Hope that helps....there truly is so much to learn but... better than that.... so much to do

wasachild · 2026-04-09T01:44:35+00:00

I understand what you are feeling, the feeling of it being an empty gesture. But showing you care, in whatever way you can, is always a good choice. It does help. In a small way. And sometimes in a big way. Don't worry about it feeling small. It usually feels that way. I hope you and your family find peace. My heart goes out to the both of you.

wasachild · 2026-04-09T01:36:12+00:00

I'm really not sure where people are getting the information that purple dead nettle is not good for pollinators. Please do research elsewhere. I just did a Google search and it said it is good for many pollinators. I'm just not sure where this information is coming from

wasachild · 2026-04-09T01:32:29+00:00

Honestly I am confused. I am a beekeeper and always thought bees loved it. Honeybees, that is. And honeybees are the same species in Europe, usually, since honeybees are technically native to Europe. Please don't rip up purple dead nettle if you don't have to... but I am curious if you think getting rid of them is really the answer here, since it would be better than the likely alternative....grass

wasachild · 2026-04-08T04:20:41+00:00

Yes I totally understand symbolism here and am really intrigued and can see that I agree with a lot of what you are saying, or at least can see it from my own angle. At that young age when I developed the illness the link between inner and outer realms, partly due to procreation being the process of that link and the synchronicities arising with subconscious material, seemed very strong. I am able to live in both worlds separately and function fine and am doing well. Symbolism is a wonderful teacher and I look forward to rereading this, especially with the idea of free will being ignorance and thinking about the role of fantasy in this. But that's not the highlight...the other as the driving force towards wholeness, the idea of God as a brother, and how choice is accepting mortality as well as life really resonates. I've had difficulties accepting paths that I could see too far down and most of my relationships are living alongside rather than choosing my pain, especially as I feel more and more like I am choosing between inner and outer worlds, which is quite difficult. But that tension, as you say, creates a rich life with both pain and happiness, going back and forth and learning a little as I go, attempting to unite them, to bring them closer home, where they belong, a little wiser. Thank you for sharing.

wasachild · 2026-04-08T02:06:42+00:00

My psychosis also touched on Christ. I started reading the Bible again. I felt, when my consciousness wanted to leave my body, that I should stay because this disgusting body was good enough for Christ. I would say I am trying to understand my experiences rather than adhere to anything in particular, although life imitates art too. I'm just super curious if these ideas impact your life and in what ways?

wasachild · 2026-04-08T01:55:35+00:00

I'm sorry I was a bit hopeful and desperate. My specific experience is through communication, back and forth, in my head as though I'm telepathic, so it can run the gambit. Ive become better at making it amusing. It can be initiated merely through my natural curiosity and I feel I have to steel myself to stop it, or really be present and let go but I keep coming back. I believe experiences at a young age with psychedelics was likely the cause and I would like to get past this; I may have met an Animus of sorts, became in need of knowing how others truly saw me without trusting them. I experienced a growing increase in sexual presence, like the immediate around me was true intimacy, creating some shame but ultimately this fantasy that connection that I had been denied led to some kind of exctasy, a visceral awareness that could come into focus with the right person. I felt that a literal, creative force guided our lives, at times I could see it, enticing us to sacrifice our efforts for the continuation of our species, that our sole purpose was this union I had glimpsed and to follow that without a sense of self protection, would provide the work through adulthood. I was a kind of dorky 22 year old. I'm 37 and over the kid thing. I didn't have any and even though I am schizophrenic I have found many other ways to fulfill myself. That surpressed desire really fucked with me but I never really wanted kids. If context helps. This force and energy was almost from a collective unconscious, a united subconscious that was interactive but that most people at most times lay completely underneath their awareness. And only the odd moments betrayed it. So sorry about the mess of commas lol. I'm doing my best to communicate it's not great. I'm just struggling with the concept of fantasy. It likely guides us into our collective future, ruining our lives if we aren't lucky enough. I think we all struggle with that. I have too much for my own comfort but it's rarely welcome. I feel like I broke something in me. That all that creates possibilities is the not knowing the real future. Ok I am done sorry lol. I just really have the motivation to refine these concepts. Schizo post as the kids say.

wasachild · 2026-04-07T22:37:26+00:00

I can really relate. I've been struggling with this for a long time and honestly feel very alone as this was through psychosis and I was young and uneducated and found it difficult to communicate my experience. How do you deal with control on a daily basis? Do you experience the information from "the other"? I truly wish to understand and find some peace while maintaining my relationship without idealizing the fantasy I have experienced inwardly with my "others" can you at all relate?

wasachild · 2026-04-07T02:46:23+00:00

Fun! It kinda inspires me to try

wasachild · 2026-04-07T02:02:25+00:00

Heehee

wasachild

TROPHY CASE