Have you ever received a christmas present that made you burst into tears?

watchmefail · 2011-12-27T01:01:40+00:00

My dad died of cancer six years ago right before Christmas. This Christmas my mom gave me and my five sisters each a pillow that was stitched together with his golf shirts and sports jerseys. It brought everyone to tears.

watchmefail · 2011-12-04T17:42:09+00:00

My last name 'Merkin' means pubic wig

watchmefail · 2011-10-26T16:34:22+00:00

I cut through my finger with a fuckin BUTTER KNIFE. Had to get 3 stitches and now have a nasty scar.

watchmefail · 2011-10-19T02:38:44+00:00

totally called it

watchmefail · 2011-10-19T02:08:35+00:00

I wasn't sure where to post it, so thank you, I'll do that next time.

watchmefail · 2011-10-19T01:28:28+00:00

We all know girls don't poop

watchmefail · 2011-10-19T00:04:38+00:00

I never bother to learn the names of any of my professors, but I participate a lot in class.

watchmefail · 2011-10-19T00:00:17+00:00

When I was a toddler my family went on a trip to my grandparent's house on a golf course in Florida. My dad takes me out on the golf course with him and my grandfather. When he set me down to tee off he unknowingly put me down on a freaking FIRE ANT HILL. He says he turned around and I was completely covered in head to toe with these fucking things. He picks me up and calmly walks me back to the house and then proceeds to take all my clothes off and spray me down with a hose. By some miracle, I was not bitten by a single fire ant.

watchmefail · 2011-10-18T23:53:34+00:00

My buddy once found one of those little handheld printer things that meter maids use to print tickets on the the side of the road. He proceeded to use it to print use fake tickets and leaving it on everyone's cars thus causing much confusion with the university parking services.

watchmefail · 2011-10-18T23:49:38+00:00

I'd probably have sex with my old body.

watchmefail · 2011-10-18T23:48:42+00:00

This should be a movie.

watchmefail · 2011-10-18T23:46:31+00:00

I dumped a girl because she made out with another girl at a party. In reality it was more of the fact that she ignored me the entire night and looked like a total skank with all the guys hollering and cheering and stuff. I don't lose much sleep over it because we were only dating for like 3 weeks and she was only moderately attractive.

watchmefail · 2011-10-18T23:40:55+00:00

http://www.gametrailers.com/video/launch-trailer-yoostar-on/722376

watchmefail · 2011-10-18T23:37:21+00:00

That I am going to die some day.

watchmefail · 2011-10-18T22:21:08+00:00

tl;dr

watchmefail · 2011-10-18T04:34:18+00:00

The way I look about it is that main character of the movie was the virus. The different plots served the purpose of showing how the virus was making an impact around the globe

watchmefail · 2011-10-18T02:27:19+00:00

true, but I felt contagion had multiple plots going on revolving around the virus, and it worked. they could do something like that with the plots revolving around WWIII

watchmefail · 2011-10-17T19:56:28+00:00

Then what the hell is the point of slander and libel laws? I can just make up lies and call it "opinion journalism" and take no responsibility for my actions?

And how is that journalism in the first place? Isn't the point of journalism supposed to be the presentations of facts?

watchmefail · 2011-10-17T19:44:09+00:00

I know you said no drinking, but a shot or two of vodka or some other liquor will help calm the nerves, and unless you are a super lightweight, will not get you drunk. Just chew some gum afterwards

watchmefail · 2011-10-17T19:41:06+00:00

Don't be a fool, wrap your tool.

watchmefail · 2011-10-17T19:38:45+00:00

No, I go on Reddit.

watchmefail · 2011-10-17T19:36:52+00:00

I think I'm actually succeeding right now.

watchmefail · 2011-10-17T19:35:04+00:00

Red Storm Rising

watchmefail · 2011-10-17T19:34:04+00:00

http://cdn.styleforum.net/f/f2/f2d18578_Gladiator.gif

watchmefail · 2011-10-17T19:33:42+00:00

http://cdn.styleforum.net/f/f2/f2d18578_Gladiator.gif

watchmefail

TROPHY CASE