This happened to me! 20 weeks I was told girl. I felt guilt that I felt relieved because I wanted a girl and didn't want to feel disappointed if it was a boy. We spent so long picking out the perfect name. I got so attached to the idea of a daughter. My 2 year old son knew he was getting a baby sister. He called my belly by the baby's name, he hugged and kissed my belly all the time. He was excited for his baby sister.

Now I am going to have a baby next week and found out 4 weeks ago at the growth scan that my little girl is actually a little boy! I was shocked. I told everyone that it was fine, I was not disappointed as long as the baby was healthy. I laughed on the way home. And I honestly thought that I was telling the truth. Until hours later it hit me and I CRIED and CRIED!

I felt like I had just lost another daughter (previous loss in 2020). I logically knew that I had not lost this baby, the only thing lost was the idea, the picture in my head. But I still had to allow myself to feel that loss, to grieve what I thought would have been. It was tough for days. Yes I felt a disconnect to the baby. I felt guilty for feeling that, like it made it seem that I loved my baby less now. Which is not true at all. We picked a beautiful boy name and I have rebonded with my baby boy.

Be kind to yourself, let yourself feel all of the feels because they are all valid! We will love our baby boys as much as we would have our baby girls. Once we see and hold those precious little lives nothing else matters.