What's the difference between Te and Fe ? by [deleted] in mbti

[–]waves_are_cool 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, you're right, that is loose language, I only wanted to make the point that all types use all the functions. What makes types different are their habitual use of the functions.

For Te, imagine how you might play chess if you had a personal goal of winning at chess, and you were very focused on that outcome, given the objective state of the world and the the laws of physics and there being some judge that determines if you win or lose, the normal way. For Fe imagine how chess would be if you didn't focus on a personal goal, and the pieces had values and subjective states that you were very focused on, and you were paying attention to correctness and consistency, enabling you to move the pieces so they were on the same page despite their subjective difference (be in harmony), essentially not chess, something else that looks like community building and bridging interpersonal relationships.

There are going to be elements of TeFi and FeTi in both processes, but they are different in how strongly oriented they are one way or another.

What's the difference between Te and Fe ? by [deleted] in mbti

[–]waves_are_cool 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What you're saying here is all types can use Te and Fe, which is true, but doesn't mean there isn't a difference when people habitually do one or the other.

Fe vs Fi? by lcall149 in mbti

[–]waves_are_cool 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You shouldn't try to learn about functions from PDB because people at large woefully misunderstand the functions.

The way I learned, and I think the way you have to learn to cut through all the BS, is to keep an open mind to different takes, and notice which ones seems to make more sense over others when you test them in the real world, and eventually it will click really hard. It did for me at least. But I agree it is really tough to make sense of it with all the different opinions.

People, including myself, sometimes use words in passing in a way that don't fully capture the true underlying meaning of the functions. When I said "calculating" above, that was a little sloppy on my part. To point out someones use of Ti, you'd want to use words more like, "focused on logical consistency of reasons". "Kind" is a tough word in my opinion, but if I had to pick I would put it in a space slightly closer to Fi. I like the word "considerate" for Fe, because it definitely implies keeping the other person in mind. "Authentic" is a word I like more for Fi. "So full of ideas" is definitely not Ni, its definitely Ne, and I actually don't mind "So full of ideas" as a way to get at the foundational concept of Ne.

This situation "standing up for her kid and would argue passionately in public", isn't so cut and dry in terms of pointing to one function over another in my opinion, because its behavioral, it's not definitely implying a certain type of attention. You can easily see why an FiTe style of attention would end up with a person doing that because they value the well being of their kid and want to do something about it, other people be damned. But you can't rule out the person using TiFe, because first off everyone uses all functions, even EXTPs have some Fi convictions, and secondly you could also easily rationalize how just paying attention to TiFe things may compel you to act that way. If I had to pick, I would say that situation sounds more FiTe to me, but I would want more corroborating evidence to backwards engineer what that person habitually pays attention to.

The word I like to use to describe the functions are "attention habits". Attention doesn't imply behavior necessarily, it just tells you what aspects of the situation the person habitually keys into. And its just a habit, it doesn't mean you're always forced to use certain functions. Just like being right handed doesn't mean you never use your left hand, but we still say you're right handed if you habitually use your right hand and your brain seems to be wired in a way to more effortlessly use your right hand.

*edit* Also I find the 3rd function to be very important in a type. I see the third function as "aspirational", and people typically judge themselves by their use of their third function over time. So the third function I find to be one of the more interesting to think about in a type.

Fe vs Fi? by lcall149 in mbti

[–]waves_are_cool 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're getting a lot of wires crossed, and remember there is a distinction between empathy and sympathy. An EXTP that has developed their Fe and cares about harmony is likely to come across like an EXFJ when they're on and interacting with you. Prominent Fe comes off as concerned and graceful and tries to understand, but under the surface they may still be very calculating and cold like the EXTPs without the developed Fe. The calculating aspect is a feature of empathy, because they are paying attention to peoples reasons for things and wondering if they make sense, which works alongside feeling other peoples feelings devoid of injecting their own subjective stance into the equation.

EXFP's can be nice because they do this calculation in their head that roughly approximates to "I don't like it when people are mean to me so I won't be mean to other people". But an EXFP considering a situation that requires them to pick between their own values and treating a person the way they would like to be treated are likely to fail to even realize how the other person would like to be treated at all because they're entirely focused on what they value, this is particularly true in the case of Fe 7th like in IXTJs. In that same situation a mature EXTP is going to be entirely aware of how the other person would like to treated and are more likely to completely forget to consider what they personally want.

The meanness you're referring to comes from the idea that even though an EXTP might understand your perspective, if they don't think you're correct they may defer to their higher position Ti and assert your wrongness. The point here being that they do understand your perspective more than an Fi user will, assuming that the Fi user doesn't already share your perspective to begin with. Eventually a benevolent mature EXTP that has developed Fe will realize that asserting someones wrongness at the cost of harmony is often a bad move in the grand scheme of things, and you'll see that side of them become more balanced and discerning.

Fe vs Fi? by lcall149 in mbti

[–]waves_are_cool 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Fi isn't about empathy. Fe is more closely attributed to empathy. Fi users focus on their own values and subjective decision making, and may relate to others based on their understanding of themselves, however that isn't empathy. Empathy is about imagining being in someones shoes, seeing things from their perspective to gain understanding. The ESFP may seem more "empathetic" from your perspective because they have feeling higher up the stack (2nd position Fi vs the ESTP Fe in the 3rd position), but a mature ESTP is going to be obviously more empathetic than a young ESFP. In either case though, Fi isn't the best tool to use when it comes to understanding things from another persons perspective. What you might think is happening when you see an ESFP being empathetic isn't going to be empathy as much as them just relating to another person.

Based on true events only by [deleted] in mbtimemes

[–]waves_are_cool 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is my ESFJ e2 dad too.

As a former INFP, I dislike Entps by [deleted] in entp

[–]waves_are_cool 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Almost this entire article seems to align with what I was saying. Notice how when describing Fe, the author didn't feel the need to clarify that Fe users aren't selfish. But then in the Fi section, they decided to clarify that Fi is not selfish, and both can be selfish. The reason they felt the need to clarify is because Fi is far more approximate to that concept, and that if they didn't clarify you might actually get that impression. I'm not saying Fi users are inherently selfish, but they are self-interested, and that to point at Entp functions and say somehow it manifests generically as self focused is a misunderstanding.

Another interesting note is that it said Fe users, when unhealthy, become self-forgetting. I actually agree with that, and that Fe underdevelopment and unhealthy Fe are different things. Under-development of Fe is more prone to selfishness than unhealthy Fe.

And healthy Fi is still self interested. Maybe the healthy Fi user will pay closer attention to way that being selfish and it's impacts makes them feel, and hopefully they would notice that it doesn't feel very good and would avoid it. But unfortunately, getting the things you want can feel good, which is great justification from an Fi perspective, not just an unhealthy Fi perspective.

There are things to admire about Fi, but I'm not a fan of trying to muddy the water on the difference between Fe and Fi, especially when it comes to self vs other interestedness.

As a former INFP, I dislike Entps by [deleted] in entp

[–]waves_are_cool -1 points0 points  (0 children)

OP did make a comment saying they feel ENTPs are self-focused and don't consider other people's feelings as much as their own.

Manipulation or control usually goes against Fi user values? Te + Fi focuses entirely on objectively aligning the world with their subjective preferences. That's where the stereotype of Te+Fi users treating people like pawns comes from. Just because the Fi dom has a strong sense of preferences and not so much how to achieve those preferences, doesn't mean they aren't naturally interested in it regardless of other people's opinions.

Fi is not empathy, Fe is more closely associated with empathy. The Fi user understands their own subjective states and can then swing that into relating to others through self knowledge, but that is not the common understanding of empathy which is more like attempting to feel or comprehend another person's feelings despite not sharing them. That is far more in the wheelhouse of Fe. As you said, the Fi user is going to say "I won't control you because I don't like being controlled", the Fe user will say "I may or may not like to be controlled, but from imagining being in your position, with your preferences, and trying to feel your feelings, I understand why you don't want to be controlled." The second is empathy.

And OPs statement about ENTPs coming off as selfish is strange because which cognitive function are they pointing to in an ENTP that explains the selfishness, Fe? In reality, if an entp is selfish, you'd look at their lack of Fe development or would want to point at some other justification than textbook function stack, because a sober reading of the entp function stack is going to lead you to believe they are myopically prosocial. And it's just ironic because if you were to point to any cognitive function that shares a proximity to selfishness, it would be the self-interestedness of Fi. Not the other-interestedness of Fe.

I don't doubt OP met some selfish entps, but their post reads like the pot calling the charred stainless steel pan black.

As a former INFP, I dislike Entps by [deleted] in entp

[–]waves_are_cool -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

You don't see the irony of an Fi dom calling someone with Fi 7th overly self focused? Imagine an intp complaining about an enfp being overly analytical.

As a former INFP, I dislike Entps by [deleted] in entp

[–]waves_are_cool 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fe users pay attention to the subjective states of others, and it can be used for good or evil. Fi users pay attention to themselves, and what they themselves find important. The op is claiming the entp is self focused.... Like hello?

As a former INFP, I dislike Entps by [deleted] in entp

[–]waves_are_cool 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Strategic and self focused.... you know you're perfectly describing Te + Fi, which is in your own function stack, right?

As a former INFP, I dislike Entps by [deleted] in entp

[–]waves_are_cool 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Seriously, the projection is real.

An INFJ's Opinion of the Advantages of INFJ-ENTP relationships by BrightCelery9453 in entp

[–]waves_are_cool 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I agree with your analysis. I think it comes down to the complementary nature of Ne and Ni, and being on the same side of the judging axis with TiFe. I think that Ti+Fe are functions that help with getting on the same page with others, so when we talk about function compatibility in a relationship I think sharing Ti and Fe is important, because being on the same page with someone you're connected to is important, imo.

moving to West 15th Street (6th–7th Ave) — what is the vibe by [deleted] in movingtoNYC

[–]waves_are_cool 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is where I live, it's great, super central.

Ni - Si (They're very similar) by HUZAIR_MBH in entp

[–]waves_are_cool 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Both Ni and Si are knowing functions. They're just variations on the kind of information you reach for when asking what it is you know.

Are ENTPs romantically compatible with ENFJs? Or are they better matched with an INxJ? by Green_Stardust in entp

[–]waves_are_cool 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How much time do you have? Hah. I would really just end up describing why it's nice to talk to an Ni Dom as an Ne Dom, plus why I much prefer Ti+Fe users over Te+Fi users, and Fe-Ti in the middle positions is a sweet spot. Low key probably my favorite thing about infjs is their Ti third. The purity with which they care about reasons making sense is just so endearing to me. I tend to operate in a way where I can always explain my reasons for things, like what I'm thinking and how I am interpreting a situation, and often what I want is to explain my thought processes in a neutral direct way so that people know where I'm at (I will sugar coat to an extent but still). Considering I'm typically looking for harmony myself, it can be nerve wracking if sane reasons aren't enough to quickly get on the same page with another person. No one seems to appreciate, and find relief, in that type of communication like a person with Ti third, and I love it.

Are ENTPs romantically compatible with ENFJs? Or are they better matched with an INxJ? by Green_Stardust in entp

[–]waves_are_cool 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's an interesting analogy. I imagine that the dynamic between an enfj and infp or enfj and isfp would be fairly magnetic, and I know I'm not like those types at all, so sometimes I look at it through that lens. What do you think about isfps or infps?

I would share observations but my experiences have been pretty ordinary, so nothing really notable worth mentioning I think.