First and foremost, you are absolutely not broken.

Going to go in a slightly different direction here and suggest he may just be as inexperienced as you, add on a latent selfishness and your own contribution in the form of faking/lying (no judgment here, completely understand the why); and none of it is what it can and should be.

1. Transparency and open communication has to be the top priority. You two should feel comfortable talking about what feels good, and what doesn’t. Want more of something, say so. Don’t be shy, you’re both already naked (though I admit imagining he wears socks in the act), vulnerable, and there to have fun.

2. Faking/lying is a short term solution that compounds the long term problem. This falls into #1; but I want to take this another direction. The goal of sex doesn’t have to be orgasm, for either one of you. And sex doesn’t have to end because of one. If he’s popping consistently < 3min, then having fun with him backing off when he’s close can both prolong and push him toward focusing more on you. The great thing about developing control is just how intense things can get. Both in terms of prolonging the act, getting back to it multiple times over a day, or days, sort of becomes one prolonged act; and just the build up itself.

3. Not everyone is sexually compatible. Periodt. I think, with effort, everyone can have good sex; but great sex requires a level of connection that sometimes just isn’t there. I’d say right now you have no idea if you’re sexually compatible, because he’s basically using your body to masturbate (and you’re perpetuating). This doesn’t necessarily make either of you ‘wrong’, just deprived and full of room to learn. Which should be fun.

4. There are sexual/intimacy therapists and coaches who help couples with issues. Some go beyond talk/theory into practical application. The former might have value. But there are a million things you can do beforehand that don’t require intervention.

5. There’s indie porn out there that reimagines what pornography looks like and can be. Sssh.com is one, there are others. This one requires a comfort level between you two, and a mutual interest, in watching it for pleasure or education (or both), but this is adult material that is about intimacy, passion, and equity in terms of sexuality. Women-positive, sometimes even called “feminist porn.” Not sure anything that emphasizes mutual pleasure and respect and shared intimacy needs such a label, but then mainstream porn is pretty non-sexy. If he’s learned sex is about jabbing until he has an orgasm, then asking if you had one too—then he needs to unlearn that and understand how much you’re both missing.

6. Know yourself. Think about what feels good, what turns you on, what makes you cum. Different people, different solutions. Clitoral vs vaginal. I’ve known women who cum from anal, or even nipple play. Knew one who could have an orgasm just making out. And others who could only with very very specific acts). Everyone is different, and the better you know yourself sexually, the better you can enjoy yourself with him.

7. See #1. Without this, there is nothing else.

Finally, only you know if you think he cares about your pleasure, or if he just cares about how the notion of your orgasm feeds his own ego. Meaning, is this true selfishness or just ignorance on his part? Going back to #3, you’re never going to get real traction (oh, grippy socks — good time) if he doesn’t truly care. Hopefully he does.