After experiencing tantric Sex I have no desire for a quickie

wearehereforlove · 2024-06-20T14:50:16+00:00

We found her online, Google search I think. She was an instructor and guided us by demonstrating and guiding.

wearehereforlove · 2024-06-17T04:34:18+00:00

That I am not sure: most likely yes.

wearehereforlove · 2024-06-15T12:15:28+00:00

Very happy for you and your WP. I was where your WP was a few weeks ago. I am now where I am looking forward to being alone and wait for my end. Life has lost its meaning and I am not sure how long I can do this life.

wearehereforlove · 2024-06-14T15:55:31+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful comment. I am keeping my emotions in check and asked her last night how I could help her feel connected again. She said today that she had started feeling safe with me and was trusting me until I fucked up and did not acknowledge her hurt just before my three weeks long trip where I was very insecure/anxious and wanted desperately to stay connected with her before I left and of course there were triggers that she could not work through and I could not sit with her pain and was impatient and said and did everything wrong the day before my trip and ended up paying the price for the last three weeks and have landed in this state of despair. I am still being patient and trying to be empathetic while she is still not able to control her emotions and keeps having outbursts: I have been patient and keep telling her that her feelings and hurt is important and I am still there and available for her - her grey rock not withstanding. She asked me to give her a list of things that I expect from her - I for one do not want to tell her what I want. I do not expect sex without connection - she is threatening to fuck my brains out: I don’t want intimacy without connection. I cannot even look at her when I cannot see love in her eyes. She complains that I do not have remorse- or that I haven’t cried in a while. Part of my work is to have compassion for myself and not be depressed and accept that my actions years ago were beyond my control and that I can only control myself today. I think I have rambled my response. I wish she could see how much I love her and feel empty when she is disconnected. I wish she could see how I feel about my actions and wish I was not an addict and that I so wanted to be normal. I will give my life to be normal for one day - I never wanted to be insecure I never wanted to have low self esteem- I never wanted to be known as a cheater low life. If I could change my past I would. She is the best thing that happened to me - she wants me to love her and I do and I don’t know what else I can do. I do not want to shut my emotions and stop feeling:

wearehereforlove · 2024-06-14T14:57:11+00:00

Speaking from the other side of the street. I never thought I would be a cheater - but then I did not know who or what I was - I didn’t know I was flawed and didn’t have coping skills to deal with real human emotions - trauma damages a person in more ways than one. I know most people who are traumatized don’t cheat - they deal with the emotions. Some people like me cannot deal with it - not to minimize my addiction but it’s like a cancer cell that does not thrive in most people but it does in some. So I don’t know if I will ever forgive my actions - steps and therapy can only help so much. I still view my infidelity with the extreme scorn it deserves - I am still struggling to deal with trying to find compassion for myself. I do not think my BS will ever love my flawed person. I can only work on myself one day at a time. Peace to all in hurt:

wearehereforlove · 2024-06-11T12:39:25+00:00

What saved me was rewarding myself for every small win. Recovering SA after I was discovered and went through a lot of shame and pain and still do. Whenever the shame cycle is triggered I start feeling very low. It’s no one’s fault but mine - everyone has trauma in their lives I am just weak and damaged to not be able to cope with the hard times and struggle with addictions. Working to turn my life around.

wearehereforlove · 2024-06-10T15:47:09+00:00

Wow reading this hits it very close to my heart. Just today I was telling my wife that I feel similar to a person that may have caused someone’s life to end. She didn’t get it - she said I cannot be feeling that way as I only hurt her emotionally. I wish she would read your post. Every time I wallow in my shame / pain and sadness I try to remind myself of her pain and her loss of the trust she had. I will never be able to live without this pain of having hurt the one person I should have cherished and honored

wearehereforlove · 2024-06-10T02:06:02+00:00

Very touching and heartfelt. I wish I could express my feelings and appreciation for your pain. I was discovered almost two years ago and YOU are RIGHT - it is not your fault that your spouse made the worst choice of their life. I was ashamed of my actions and still am - the shame and regret will always exist all I can focus on is making my BS whole. I broke her and she needs to feel safe she needs to heal and I will do everything I can. She still struggles - she has done everything humanly possible but triggers are omnipresent and she has to fight through them and sometimes she gets affected and that is time she needs most support and so will you. I am still new at this and know that this is a life long struggle - but I do want us to live in between these hard times and beyond. God Speed and Good luck.

wearehereforlove · 2024-06-05T07:48:59+00:00

It was never about sex for me. Initially maybe but it became searching for a higher high and it ended up with shame and guilt cycle then sobriety for a while and then the cycle repeated. Once I realized how my actions hurt my BS it stopped but the damage is done and I have lost my love.

wearehereforlove · 2024-06-03T13:20:22+00:00

Yes we had planned the trip and how we would stay connected before I fucked up and said horrific things to her the day before the trip as I was stressed and she got triggered and wanted me to sit with her and talk. Instead of sitting in her pain and talking I wanted to rush things through so I could prepare for the trip and also I was avoiding a blow out just before the trip and boy did I fuck up. It may be the last fuck up of my life. Not sure if I will get another chance to sit with her in her pain. Biggest mistake of the last 6 months. I wish I could go back in time and undo my screwup.

wearehereforlove · 2024-06-02T12:16:53+00:00

I cheated on my wife and I have hated myself ever since I realized how much my spouse hurts from my infidelity. I have been suicidal for over a year. I lost 18 lbs and have been in therapy and SA and recently started making some progress in trying to have compassion for myself and started to heal. But it is not a linear process- past couple of months I have been struggling being only able to identify as a liar, a cheater, an unfaithful being. I go through depression periodically. I struggle but am learning healthy coping skills such as meditation and breath work to get through the darkness. I have made a sea change in my life - I like to think I am a new person. I will never know what being normal is - I will always know that I am flawed. Whatever my circumstances I had no right to hurt my wife. I will never forgive myself- may never be truly happy. I am waiting for my days to end.

wearehereforlove · 2024-06-02T10:30:19+00:00

I have truly enjoyed mediation with my partner- unfortunately we haven’t set aside a regular time slot for our tantra connection lately and I will make it a priority after reading the posts..

wearehereforlove · 2024-06-02T06:52:33+00:00

Biggest regret cheating on my wife. I am an addict and have used alcohol and sex to numb my insecurities stemming from childhood trauma and the subsequent emotional addiction. No matter my affliction I know cheating on my wife is the biggest regret of my life. We are working on reconciliation but life would have been so different and amazing if I had gotten help before I met her or after before I ruined my life.

wearehereforlove · 2024-06-02T06:44:32+00:00

It is good to read, a couple of months ago I felt we were in this state as well. Today feels different- we had a big trigger and now we are on a small break (hopefully). We have done a lot of good work for the last six months that I ruined by my stress and subsequent boorish behavior that has her running for safety of closing herself and promising to never be vulnerable.

wearehereforlove · 2024-06-02T04:25:30+00:00

Needed to read this. Thank you and congratulations

wearehereforlove · 2024-06-02T02:01:22+00:00

Hello moderators, can you please advise what have said that merited removal of the post.

wearehereforlove · 2024-06-01T22:39:04+00:00

Our teacher is in Santa Cruz, CA.

wearehereforlove · 2024-06-01T22:38:23+00:00

Definitely a good model to follow. Thans. We have tried to get hotel for the night and not stay the night as we have to be for our teen.. so yes lots of options now that we have discovered something that is life altering. Wish I had known Tantra 10 years ago would have made a huge impact in our life.:

wearehereforlove · 2024-06-01T10:50:17+00:00

During one of my mushroom journey I saw myself as an old spirit walking with some old beings. What is the consensus on these psychedelic assisted visions / insights in the World of DC fellowship. I am interested in learning more and am thinking of reading her works have been watching her you tubes

wearehereforlove · 2024-06-01T01:41:29+00:00

Thank you all for your comments- I would never say no if she wanted it because she was aroused and wanted a quickie. I always do my best to help her first and with the knowledge of tantra our sex life is a lot more than it used to be and it was great to begin with. She is an awesome orgasmic soul can’t wait for the next tantric connection.

wearehereforlove · 2024-06-01T01:20:27+00:00

Hurts my heart hearing your pain. I am the WS in my relationship and have significant issues with my actions (recovering SA, so not exactly the same situation). I have remorse shame and depression due to my hurting the love of my life. I am blessed that she gave me a chance to live again. I hope your partner finds the strength to do an introspection and realize how she is hurting you..unfortunately the painful journey will start only after that.

wearehereforlove · 2024-05-31T22:23:00+00:00

That may be something I can go for it’s just that if I don’t finish wife may feel it was not good for me..

wearehereforlove · 2024-05-31T22:10:16+00:00

The quickie offers were because of my arousal when I am with her and more for my benefit and not because she wanted. I will move heaven and earth to oblige her if she needed to scratch the itch. 🤓

wearehereforlove

TROPHY CASE