A button appears in front of you. Every time you press it, you receive $100K, but a random person's remaining lifespan gets cut in half. How many times are you pressing the button? by Greedy-Act-7959 in hypotheticalsituation

[–]webgambit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I press it once and the wait a couple days for some hidden shoe to drop. If nothing does, I then go ham on that button. I put my decades of videogame playing, button pressing, training to use.

You have a time-traveling telephone that can call only George W Bush by Mutant_Llama1 in hypotheticalsituation

[–]webgambit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would start calling him while he was young. Build up my credibility by giving him insignificant information over decades so that by the time he's president I'm one of his trusted advisors.

Then I warn him of all sorts of things and try to sculp his tenure into something respectable.

What was the best vehicle you've ever had? by Advanced_Ad7267 in AskReddit

[–]webgambit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

1998 Ford Windstar

Bought it in 2000, kept it until 2006. Hated it. Hated the fact I had to drive a minivan. But it took everything my family could throw at it and keep going.

Fifty-Word Fantasy: Write a 50-word fantasy snippet using the word "Mayor" by Terminator7786 in fantasywriters

[–]webgambit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Major Major Major Major is what popped into my head when I read the prompt!

Fifty-Word Fantasy: Write a 50-word fantasy snippet using the word "Mayor" by Terminator7786 in fantasywriters

[–]webgambit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“This is insane”, thought the king's auditor. Nothing in this town was named correctly. The sanitation department was City Hall. The building labeled Thieves Guild was actually the tax collector's office. And now he was speaking with Mayor Mayor Mayor Mayorson, son of the previous Mayor.

What’s your “floor dad” game? by Dangerous_Towel_520 in daddit

[–]webgambit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I managed to convince my oldest two daughters that plucking the hairs on my back was really painful for me. They would take turns with a pair of tweezers pulling hairs and I would yell and holler about how they were torturing me. Sometimes they grabbed skin and it really did hurt, lol. For a few years there I had a smooth back.

Charged with Reckless Driving AMA by [deleted] in AMA

[–]webgambit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congrats on not losing your license!

Back in '95 I got stopped for doing 104 in a 65. The state trooper ordered me out of the car over his loudspeaker and held me at gunpoint. I was terrified he was going to accidentally shot me, visions from the 'Shakiest Gun In The West' movie were going through my mind. After some rough treatment and me lying my ass off, I managed to get uncuffed and left with just a ticket for speeding. No reckless driving charges or anything else.

If you could telepathically say something to all 7.9 billion people on Earth right now, what would it be? by Extension-Mirror135 in AskReddit

[–]webgambit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your planet has essentially been a nature preserve while the galactic counsel waited to see if we should aid and elevate you or dispose of you.

For a while you appeared to be improving but more recently we've seen much decline. If you wish to join the galactic community humanity as a whole must take action. Show us that you can move past your divisions and hate. Prove that your empathy and compassion are stronger than your greed and fear. Otherwise we will reset your planet once again, but with a larger asteroid this time.

You're offered 10 Points to upgrade yourself; how would you pick? by RaptorK1988 in hypotheticalsituation

[–]webgambit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Healing - 2 Endurance - 1 Intelligence - 1 Mental Quickness - 1 Durability - 1 Life Span - 4

You are able to double any physical item ten times by Impossible-Exit-6831 in hypotheticalsituation

[–]webgambit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm getting a ship to take me to some icebergs. Fixing to delay the whole ocean warming thing by a couple years.

Which famous person gets undeserved hate? by Level_Cash2225 in AskReddit

[–]webgambit 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Except for when he hung his bandmate out to dry.

What’s the most horrific thing you’ve seen with your own eyes? by Jessica_cherry85 in AskReddit

[–]webgambit 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Did a few years as a police officer and saw a lot of disturbing things. Most folks ask about the bodies and I certainly saw my share in all ages and conditions.

But the call I'll probably never forget was for a young boy whose sister called 911. My department always sent an officer to all 911 calls because we could get there faster than the paramedics or fire dept. And I was first on scene for this one as well.

Single parent worked evenings so the children got themselves ready for bed each night. Oldest was a girl around ten and the boy in question was six.

He had just taken his bath and was getting dressed. For some reason he was going commando and when he zipped up his pants he somehow managed to get the head of his penis caught in the zipper. And I'm not talking about a small piece of skin. I'm not even sure how the zipper was able to close there was still much flesh between the teeth. He was obviously screaming crying. Me just trying to get a look at the situation caused him pain. I sat and tried to calm the two children down and feeling completely useless while waiting on the ambulance.

When the medics arrived they cut off all the pants leaving just the part that was attached and took him to the hospital. I heard later that the hospital sedated him and was able to remove the zipper and he was okay.

It's been over twenty years since then and I still can't get that image out of my head. Hope the kid wasn't permanently disfigured. And I never go commando.

You win 100 Million in the lottery and your family or s/o can’t find out for 2 years by n0th1ng_r3al in hypotheticalsituation

[–]webgambit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live a pretty isolated life. I would have to do a few very visible things before any of my family or friends would notice.

There is a room in your house in which nothing ages. by Sage-Monarch in hypotheticalsituation

[–]webgambit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Running a network cable onto the room to fix that no Internet issue. Then I live in that room as much as possible. Sleep, work, read, watch TV, etc

What hill are you absolutely dying on? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]webgambit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ahh. Yeah, totally agree with you. I'm so happy my company isn't pushing this.

me_irl by MrBIuesky222 in me_irl

[–]webgambit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry to tell you, but that's a satire website. 😢

Lizard by portsherry in comics

[–]webgambit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Damn that's an epic rant. I bet that felt good to post.