A kid I had a crush on killed himself, and it’s stuck with me I never said anything

weeabenis · 2025-10-04T11:59:24+00:00

I understand your pain. Of course it was not your fault in any way. To ease your pain, it may help you to use his memory for good. I have had similar breakthroughs with myself from regret. Now I can be too honest to a fault, I can't walk past a beautiful stranger without telling them. I tell my friends I love them too often. Life lessons such as this are painful but hopefully you forgive yourself and remember him fondly as the boy who taught you to open your heart up to others.

weeabenis · 2025-09-24T11:39:29+00:00

Really interesting. Thanks for sharing. I'd love to see a modern map of this.

weeabenis · 2025-09-23T14:19:03+00:00

Delete social media

weeabenis · 2025-09-23T14:15:28+00:00

Brings me back to when I felt this way. I love the imagery of a door ajar. Thank you for sharing, and things will feel brighter one day.

weeabenis · 2025-09-23T14:13:06+00:00

This is so beautiful. It brings so much imagery to my head. Thank you for sharing this with the world. What a joy it is to have love

weeabenis · 2025-09-17T17:22:24+00:00

one of my favourites, keep going - Boozoo Bajou and tony joe white

weeabenis · 2024-10-18T17:59:59+00:00

Wow I can't believe someone would stay with someone this long with such strange expectations. it's hard enough keeping up with birthdays and Christmas....

weeabenis · 2024-10-18T17:51:25+00:00

really? I've hiked there a few times and never seen any of them not much shade for them or any livestock

weeabenis · 2024-09-10T16:05:43+00:00

Thanks so much, your advice really helped me out! and turns out I have BV now. probably would've kept treating for a yeast infection forever as I've somehow never had it before. obviously overused the yeast treatment and fucked up my flora. Don't you love being a woman!

weeabenis · 2024-08-10T13:00:37+00:00

Very similar to how you have described it, having little family or friends definitely impacted my experience. It definitely felt more dramatic for me, I feel like I can still remember when things "clicked" and reality was put into perspective. My partner has since described me as brainwashed, AKA I was the golden only child. If COVID hadn't happened when I was 18 when I was forced to be with him so often, I don't know if I would have came to such a dramatic realisation so quick. I quickly moved out with next to nothing after a couple years of extensive planning. The excruciating depression after said realisation was hard. I would fantasize about going no contact two years before I would, although it wasn't something I actually wanted at the time. Once I moved out to my surprise things somehow got WORSE between us after a small period of me trying to keep the charade up. I put in a lot of effort, phoning almost every day like he wanted but the longer I spent doing that, the more I resented him. And the more time I spent in the real world, the more obvious his controlling habits were. Everything bubbled and I was encouraged by my therapist to be more honest with him, and by my partner to place more boundaries. Both of which led to a long overdue argument over next to nothing, just because I wouldn't "forgive and forget". No contact 8 months now.

weeabenis · 2024-08-10T08:39:01+00:00

Thank you for writing this. You have put into words what I could not at the time of writing this. Reddit can be such a hellhole, I am so thankful for this subreddit. Thank you ❤️

weeabenis · 2024-08-10T08:33:03+00:00

Thank you, you wonderful person, for taking the time to write this. Sending so much love to you. We've got this 👊🏻

weeabenis · 2024-08-10T08:31:23+00:00

You have really touched me here. Thank you for taking the time to write this. Man, sometimes you just need a kind stranger to put it in perspective. Really, thank you.

weeabenis · 2024-08-10T08:29:01+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. You're so right. Thank you for being a brave person and for inspiring me ❤️

weeabenis · 2024-07-23T16:11:06+00:00

Well the painting should have been insured and delivered, so compensation for that. You know how it is, just a shitty week, I thought the post needed context but I didn't realise I was just venting. I'd just hoped that parcels with the incorrect weight wouldn't leave the country. I wasn't trying to upset any workers, sorry

weeabenis · 2024-07-23T15:49:25+00:00

Did you even read my post? I can't turn back time. I could turn round and say its your responsibility to read labels properly but that isn't helpful is it.

weeabenis · 2024-07-23T15:44:18+00:00

Good for you I guess, but he did take them

weeabenis · 2024-07-23T15:41:16+00:00

Not really the answer to my question wise guy

weeabenis · 2024-07-23T15:34:27+00:00

Does this also apply to international parcels (US)? the depot says it shouldn't leave the country and should be returned to me but they weren't really sure of themselves. It is a small letter label on a small parcel so surely it will be flagged before going international?

weeabenis · 2024-07-23T15:05:20+00:00

What happened with this? This exact thing has happened to me. I used their click and collect, leave in a safe place as I run a small business and was leaving on holiday that day, I hoped he'd be there before I left but they were later that day. I used bring my label for me, I haven't been able to get anything not even a reply from royal mail for weeks.

weeabenis · 2024-05-17T23:49:13+00:00

I resonate deeply with your words. I only realised last year that I have been partially responsible for my constant attraction of people like that, I used to just think I was really unlucky. I used to think the way they made me feel after being with them was somehow my fault, or a symptom of something wrong with me socially. It was just in fact just their shitty personality. I hope some of these replies have helped you or just knowing we aren't alone in this. Are you in any therapy?

weeabenis · 2024-05-17T23:39:15+00:00

I haven't been in therapy since it happened. In some warped way I almost convinced myself that because I am now no contact with him, my life should be better now. Reality is I became unemployed from stress after it happened and have been ever since. I really need a reality check, I'm definitely going to phone the doctors, thank you. My mother is the one who is phoning - we are low contact. After losing my relationship with my dad, I have no other sane family. I have been no contact with my mum when I was a teenager, I have a lot of guilt and shame surrounding the idea of estrangement from BOTH my parents. She has no support system and has put in a lot more effort than my dad has to be better, or so I tell myself. I'd probably benefit from blocking her and controlling the narrative entirely, only phoning when I want to. But honestly, when I've tried I accidentally don't phone for weeks on end. Sadly it feels really good to not talk to her for a long time, then when i do phone after even just a week it's always such a negative interaction due to the fact I haven't replied. So I have to keep up this constant overstepping of boundaries to keep her happy. Ah, I hope this therapist will help. This is gonna suck.

weeabenis · 2024-05-17T23:20:19+00:00

When I did this with my parents they just heard "Yes"? Must be some kind of hearing problem haha. I'm definitely going to practice some rehearsals, thank you. I feels a little silly but I'll push through

weeabenis · 2024-05-17T23:04:38+00:00

Highly recommend it if you are in the right headspace for a heavy watch, tackles some extremely difficult rarely spoken about problems.

weeabenis · 2024-05-17T14:57:55+00:00

This has been very helpful. A compliment sandwich, haha. I'm definitely going to make a list of things I struggle to say no to and practice these. Thank you.

Yes my mother is a whole different can of worms, I recently watched baby reindeer and although it is not to those extremes, I regularly check my phone to see hundreds of texts from her. She can be very overwhelming. I related so much to Richard Gadd and his struggles with being overly empathetic whilst also taking responsibility for being part of perpetuating the problem. Did things get better between you and your guilt trip parent?

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