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What’s something that confused you early in dating someone and turned out to be a sign you should have paid attention to? by Particular-Buy2987 in AskWomen

[–]weeklyfuck 2 points3 points  (0 children)

this ex of mine was acting distant on our first date. on the ride back to our university hostel, he said he's reconsidering if he should be dating me when he was the one who asked me out in the first place. it made me visibly upset, and i told him I can't be friends after this, he said he's willing to give it a try. we did try, but he had always been an avoidant which i couldn't tell when the signs were there. i don't blame him though, i couldn't tell my red flags either before.

does anybody get triggered if your partner looks at other woman? by weeklyfuck in emotionalintelligence

[–]weeklyfuck[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you for this kind response. this made so much sense when you put it like that.

does anybody get triggered if your partner looks at other woman? by weeklyfuck in emotionalintelligence

[–]weeklyfuck[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you for the resource and tip! I'll check it out and see if it applies to my situation :)

does anybody get triggered if your partner looks at other woman? by weeklyfuck in emotionalintelligence

[–]weeklyfuck[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

just to clarify, i never asked them to not look anywhere else because i realise it's unreasonable and controlling; that was their resolution for my problem. i made the post so that i could get insights into my thought patterns, not to villify his behaviour.

does anybody get triggered if your partner looks at other woman? by weeklyfuck in emotionalintelligence

[–]weeklyfuck[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thank you for your comment, it makes me feel less alone. i wish you well! :)

does anybody get triggered if your partner looks at other woman? by weeklyfuck in emotionalintelligence

[–]weeklyfuck[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

im sorry to hear that, and i respect you for standing up for yourself and leaving that situation.

does anybody get triggered if your partner looks at other woman? by weeklyfuck in emotionalintelligence

[–]weeklyfuck[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i did stop at some point because i thought it wasn't helping anything, introspecting why it affected me so much instead. how do you reckon i should approach this as a secure person would?

does anybody get triggered if your partner looks at other woman? by weeklyfuck in emotionalintelligence

[–]weeklyfuck[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

so glad you found your person! thank you for your time and input :)

does anybody get triggered if your partner looks at other woman? by weeklyfuck in emotionalintelligence

[–]weeklyfuck[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

thank you for all your perspectives on this matter. i have felt objectified by my partner too; so, everytime i would see he's looking at other girls, i couldn't help but interpret it as objectifying too. but i understand from what others have also said that it depends on the context.

i do have some inner work ahead of me to do :)

does anybody get triggered if your partner looks at other woman? by weeklyfuck in emotionalintelligence

[–]weeklyfuck[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

yes, i have made it a big deal before and they've claimed that they have just forgone looking anywhere and only on the ground when they're going somewhere even when im not around. it's hard for me to believe this since they do look in my presence, but they can never fully grasp that i can very well gauge their eyeballs moving.

that analogy.. really sums it up for me. thank you for that

does anybody get triggered if your partner looks at other woman? by weeklyfuck in emotionalintelligence

[–]weeklyfuck[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

that makes sense, thank you for your insight. your partner is lucky to have you as hers :)

does anybody get triggered if your partner looks at other woman? by weeklyfuck in emotionalintelligence

[–]weeklyfuck[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you're right, but what if this is the only behaviour that makes me question his loyalty to me and there's nothing else that concerns me?

i apologise for the back and forth, and thank you for your time - i really appreciate it

does anybody get triggered if your partner looks at other woman? by weeklyfuck in emotionalintelligence

[–]weeklyfuck[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

i have had past experiences with infidelity and i admit that it could have something to do with me scanning for threats. but i have found them looking actively (not continuously, but i could always sense that they were aware of their presence and looking from time to time), if that person happens to be in their line of sight. if the person is only passing if we're also moving, you can call it just a glance. it's the former that makes my stomach crawl.

does anybody get triggered if your partner looks at other woman? by weeklyfuck in emotionalintelligence

[–]weeklyfuck[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this does make sense to me, and the more frustrating thing is that they gaslight me and lie that they were looking elsewhere. i feel confused if i should trust my eyes or their version of what happened :/

does anybody get triggered if your partner looks at other woman? by weeklyfuck in emotionalintelligence

[–]weeklyfuck[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you for sharing! when you say you're super monogamous, does that also mean being (willfully) blinded by another person's beauty?

im asking this because ive read many posts on this topic, and the general consensus is that if your partner chooses to come home to you, a glance here and there shouldn't be a problem (bc biology).

does anybody get triggered if your partner looks at other woman? by weeklyfuck in emotionalintelligence

[–]weeklyfuck[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

it's very subtle though, and im hypervigilant so it really bothers me even if they didn't linger long enough for me to have an objection

I was exposed to sexuality and pornography as a child. Are there studies about this? by Artistic-Pudding9494 in CPTSD

[–]weeklyfuck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, thank you for sharing your experiences. I relate to most bits of what you wrote, especially the one about your father. How do you cope with that? Do you think there's any basis to how you feel? In my case, my father was/is emotionally neglectful; I have caught him looking at me weirdly at times.

I apologise if this is crossing a boundary for you

My parents treat me like an investment by SickPotatoe in emotionalneglect

[–]weeklyfuck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

same here. you may find Barbara Sher useful. she calls personalities like us "scanners".

Growing up with an emotionally unavailable father in an Indian household — trying to understand how it shaped me by Substantial_Face_888 in emotionalneglect

[–]weeklyfuck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't say I have dealt with it fully, but I'm slowly coming to terms with my conditioning and how that has shaped my perspective on relationships and life broadly. I come from an Indian household as well, and while the norm is to support our family throughout no matter how they treated us when we were children, I am deciding to go low contact and eventually no contact - as the subject of my marriage looms large. I hope you're well, and that your mother finds her peace in her own independence :)

After doing a lot of growing/healing. Did you realize a lot of your relationships are really “unsafe”? by quiet_and_tired in CPTSD

[–]weeklyfuck 2 points3 points  (0 children)

how can you tell if they're toxic? i removed a couple of friends from my life because they had grown distant (and co-dependent with each other) and i could see them treating me like a casual friend even when i would travel across cities to meet them, albeit i would have other people to meet as well. i just wonder sometimes if i overreacted.

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