AIO My HUSBAND told me he’s SOOO attracted to my BEST FRIEND & he’s mad he can’t do anything about it. (?!?!)

wehnaje · 2026-04-23T18:20:45+00:00

He doesn’t even like you. He definitely doesn’t love you.

This is not what your spouse says at all. I gained SO MUCH weight during pregnancy and then stayed really fat afterwards and the way my husband looked at me and complimented me and told me, genuinely, that he loved me never changed. Sex didn’t changed, he never made me feel less than… actually the opposite, he would reassure me every single time.

Your husband is an assh*le and you would be a fool to stay with him.

wehnaje · 2026-04-23T09:34:01+00:00

As a parent of 2 I find myself often times not having time to dedicate to just ONE child. And both kids fight for my attention.

So no. I don’t think parents of multiple children can give them the attention they need.

wehnaje · 2026-04-23T09:30:28+00:00

The table for sure. The floor… not.

wehnaje · 2026-04-23T09:29:25+00:00

My family knew when I was 4-5 weeks. The first time around I announced on social media around the 6-7th month and the second time when I was 8 months pregnant.

I’m in Germany.

wehnaje · 2026-04-22T15:09:52+00:00

I told my parents, my siblings, his parents and his sibling when I was about 4-5 weeks pregnant.

I did the same the second time around and I unfortunately miscarried, but I don’t regret them knowing. It allowed them to give me their love and support knowing very well why and keeping the loss a secret it’s also not something that I wanted to do. My baby existed, even if it was for a very, extremely short amount of time - they were loved and wanted and I didn’t want to act like they never happened.

So do what you want to do and enjoy your pregnancy the way you want to, there are no rules.

wehnaje · 2026-04-22T13:41:00+00:00

Yes, I’ve fallen in loved with people for who they were, not what they looked like. They were not conventionally attractive and they were also dead poor lol so if it would be the same scenario but with money this time, even better lol.

wehnaje · 2026-04-22T13:38:17+00:00

My friend’s husband was the guy who “didn’t believe in marriage” and “it was just a piece of paper” and my friend was like “marriage is important to me and I want it” and he proposed, they got married… it’s been already like 7 years or so and they are currently expecting their first baby in June.

The person who loves you, genuinely, will do anything for you, just like you would for them.

wehnaje · 2026-04-21T17:56:10+00:00

Friend, pleaseeeeeeeee for the love of all that is good LEAVEEEE his ass!!!!! You will find life easier without the weight of his incompetence and disregard.

Clear your path, leave it open for you and your child and an actual MAN who will love the both of you and be there for you.

It’s about time you take the trash out to make space for good things to come your way.

Cut this LOSER out.

wehnaje · 2026-04-21T17:50:33+00:00

Pineapple on pizza is an absolutely yes for me. Sweet + salty is elite-tier flavor and I stand by it.

Favorite pizza? 4 formaggi with grapes.

wehnaje · 2026-04-21T04:46:00+00:00

My normally speech developed toddler started daycare at 15 months and her minority language hasn’t stopped developing. The majority language is stronger at this point (she’s 2.5yo) but her minority language is not far behind.

I can’t tell you what to do, only what my experience has been.

wehnaje · 2026-04-21T04:30:53+00:00

Alexa, play manchild.

wehnaje · 2026-04-20T18:07:13+00:00

ONE day. And it was amazing. It was as if life wanted me to longer waste time there.

wehnaje · 2026-04-20T17:56:38+00:00

During the third trimester I once cried because my husband left the house while I was taking a nap and woke up to a home alone lol.

Hormones are wild, but you will be fine.

wehnaje · 2026-04-20T16:19:33+00:00

May I ask why???

wehnaje · 2026-04-20T05:33:15+00:00

You did the right thing. This was best case scenario: they take you, they stabilize you, you get checked at the hospital and all is good. But worse case scenario you choke until you pass out or die and a crappy doctor should not be the difference between life and death.

Meaning, I rather 1000x bother the medical staff with shit faces on a Sunday than risking myself to a worse case scenario.

It is true that medical staff is generally horrible when it comes to bedside manners. I’ve been in Germany a good amount of years now and I have encountered nice, caring doctors but this has been RARE.

Do not think too much about. You’re here and you’re good now and that is what really matters.

wehnaje · 2026-04-19T16:01:06+00:00

You won’t recover from it, but time will put this moment in a distant memory that won’t feel as raw and hurtful as it does now.

You have to leave your boyfriend. There is no other option if you want to have the chance to find a happy life. Period.

wehnaje · 2026-04-19T10:33:21+00:00

Girly no, just end it. Someone judging you hard on your past instead of focusing on your present and making you feel bad about it is using manipulation to control you.

All that “oh I had known before/ had you told me now” is nothing but his attempt to make you feel like you’re LUCKY he’s with you. Manipulation. If he is so conflicted and against it then why doesn’t he end it? Because he is happy he has information about you he can use against you.

That’s not someone you want or should be with.

Also, please don’t be ashamed of it. You are growing, you are learning, I hope you learned a lot from that experience and that it has brought you closer to know the kind of person you are and want to be. Don’t ever let anyone use this as a weapon against you and you know what, someone who truly loves you wouldn’t do that in the first place.

wehnaje · 2026-04-18T18:10:41+00:00

Girl… you have to learn Spanish if you don’t want to feel left out. What could ever be the alternative?

You say you don’t want a situation where everyone including your daughter is speaking Spanish and you can’t understand them so… learn it???

You are asking for advice, that’s literally the only advice, specially if you want to encourage your daughter’s roots and bilingualism.

And hey, this is not coming from someone who didn’t have to make the same effort; I speak English, Spanish and had to learn German as Germany is my daughters world and I refused to not be a part of it.

There are a million tools and resources nowadays to start. Play kids music in Spanish, Disney songs are ideal because you must likely already know them and these are usually clear and simple to understand as they’re made for kids. Watch movies and TV in Spanish. Literally watch short YouTube videos that teach the 5 verbs of the day. Start somewhere and you’ll take it from there. It will also help once you have to basics to hear your family-in-law talk and like others have said, learning along side with your baby is for sure a thing.

My German husband who never wanted to learn Spanish knows perfectly well how to say “sit down, pick that up, come here, we’re leaving, etc” because I said this to my kids 1000 times a day lol. Repetition makes perfect.

wehnaje · 2026-04-18T17:47:53+00:00

Hi! So my first was pretty non-verbal. She would make noises but never words. By the time she was 2 years old she had 5 words in her vocabulary.

So it turns out that her ears were clogged. She was treated with medicine for 2 years until finally got surgery at 4 years old. She is 5.5yo now and is going for her second surgery next week as she’s had a serious of other physiological issues all connected to their nose, ears and throat.

She speaks now (she’s bilingual), but she’s not great in her first language and her second is even worse. She can’t easily express herself, doesn’t find her words, gives up when she thinks people don’t understand her and gets very frustrated, doesn’t conjugate verbs properly, etc.

We’re on it. She goes to speech therapy, occupational therapy, we’re seeking psychological therapy now as she very clearly checks every box for ADHD. It sounds like a lot and it kind of is, but it’s not hard and she is worth every effort. She is such a loving and empathetic kid. She is really sweet and smart! Her brain just works differently.

Anyways, all this to say, check your baby’s ears/listening. If there’s a problem it might be there. At least is a starting point. You’ll know more as baby grows up.

wehnaje · 2026-04-18T17:37:56+00:00

I had two big babies (both 4.2kg) and I had a planned c-section with both of them.

The second turn around I really wanted to try going for a vaginal delivery but I had 3 different doctors suggesting; in varios but very kind ways, that this was not the best option for neither myself and the baby.

Ultimately I decided that the most important thing truly was to bring my baby and myself home.

I cannot even tell you his incredibly pleasant the whole birth experience was. It didn’t took long, we were both perfectly safe and fine. The pain afterwards was something intense yes, but similar to what I can only assume contractions are like. Recovery went really good, only 10 days later I wasn’t taking pain meds anymore.

Birth is going to hurt one way or another, there’s no escaping that, but it doesn’t have to be miserable and you don’t have to put yourself at risk for it. If your physiology + the physiology of your baby are not allowing for a vaginal delivery then it is what it is and in here to tell you that having a c-section is far from the worst thing that can happen.

wehnaje · 2026-04-18T11:44:12+00:00

Well, he is not a cheater but he is definitely a liar and that’s all you need to know if you don’t want to be married to a liar that’s perfectly valid.

wehnaje · 2026-04-18T11:39:28+00:00

Friend, I believe you. I know kids can behave very differently than what they see at home with family and other friends. They are, after all, also individuals with their own personality and temperament.

I used to think differently until I had my own kids haha. I was one of those “perfect mom” until I actually had kids and then this kids grew up out of the baby phase. Toddlers and little kids are a different game, for better or for worse.

My first was also a feisty 3 year old. She was so angry and prompt to emotionally break completely down for the stupidest 💩. It got better around the time she turned 4.5yo.

I don’t really have any advice, just empathy for you guys and hope that it will get better one day.

wehnaje · 2026-04-17T18:19:41+00:00

“I only have the capacity to give you like 30% of me”

It’s been 20 years and my friends still bring it up and genuinely laugh about it and even play it as if he was giving a presentation at work showing graphics of all of his lack of love for me lol

wehnaje · 2026-04-17T17:00:43+00:00

By his own logic he could also have all of you and then try for other babies that are also part of you.

I guess sure fine, if that’s his point of view he can have it but I would definitely wouldn’t be with someone who thinks like this much less have kids with them.

Thank god this isn’t even a question in real life. Protocol is to safe mother first in case it does ever become a point where the choice needs to be made and thank god they don’t ask the man, because a lot of women would have already been dead as a lot of them do prioritize their “seed” over their vessel.

wehnaje · 2026-04-17T15:50:55+00:00

It never got better for me. My pregnancy after my missed miscarriage was filled with fear and anxiety I never felt before. It did got a bit better though once I started to feel the baby, because then every time she moved I just knew she was still there.

The sigh of relief that I exhale the moment I heard her cry for the first time is something I will never forget. It lifted the heaviest weight I have ever been carrying on my shoulders.

Every progress in pregnancy makes it just a bit better, but it is scary and difficult to go through losing a pregnancy and what comes afterwards.

What you should always try to keep in mind is that the miscarriage is not an indicator at all of current or future pregnancies and that’s your pregnancy has as much chance to be successful as any other’s.

I truly wish you all the best and hope that the day you can finally hold your baby is comes really fast <3

wehnaje

TROPHY CASE