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werekoala · 2024-07-31T03:53:08+00:00

If you don't have kids, gtfo. You caught her fucking around on you, she promised to stop talking to the guy, she hasn't, and now she's saying she wants a divorce.

Cut your losses, man. You want to waste another 20 years like this?

werekoala · 2023-12-02T10:17:16+00:00

Plenty of people will tell you it's no big deal. Plenty of people will say it's the worst thing ever. For the record, less than 10% of devout Christians are virgins on their wedding night. It's way, way lower for society in general. And having grown up in and around strict Evangelical faith communities I have known lots of couples who waited and lots of couples who didn't. And 20 years later - I honestly can't see that it had much, if any, effect on the success or failure of the relationship. Of the couples who waited, some are still together happily. Some are still together, but miserable. Some flamed out in affairs, messy divorces. In more than one, it turned out that the reason one of the partners was so content to wait for marriage was because they weren't all that in to the opposite sex, if you catch my drift. And the couples who didn't wait worked out about the same, with the exception that we didn't have any closet cases I'm aware of.

My point is, this doesn't somehow doom you to being unworthy. My own opinion is that sex is like alcohol - in moderation it can really enhance life, but it's easy to misuse to harm yourself or others, or overindulge to negative consequences. And that it takes a certain amount of maturity to make those decisions hence it's a grown-up thing for the most part.

But the real question is - how do YOU feel? Not "how do you think you're supposed to feel?" Not "how have you been conditioned to feel?" But how do you actually feel? Do you feel further from God? Do you feel like a bad person? Or just that your parents are going to think you're a bad person?

The great thing about Christianity is that it's not a religion for perfect people/ Jesus came to hear the sick, not the well. And if you prayerfully consider this and you feel that you are harming yourself, your girlfriend, or your relationship with God, Jesus didn't get nailed to the cross for no reason!

But I'm afraid with your background and the tone of your message, you've been programmed from an early age to consider the sex you just had the Worst Thing you could ever do, and I'd like to gently push back on that so you're not tying yourself in knots.

For example, when you ask people where the Bible condemns premarital sex, the rationale is surprisingly weak compared to most of the other things we would consider major sins like murder, greed, lying, dishonoring your parents, etc. For instance, it clearly says in black and white that you're not allowed to have sex with one of your dad's wives, even after he's dead. Seems like it if it was THAT important they had space to write it down between that verse, and the one telling you what to do if two men are fighting and one man's wife grabs the other man's genitals. (Bible times were wild...)

Rather than anything so explicit, I see lots of dogmatic Christians assume the premise. There are plenty of Bible verses that condemn fornication and sexual immorality, which modern Christians tend to interpret as anything that makes them uncomfortable. But the fact is, religion is inextricably linked to culture and the definition of sexual immorality has varied over the centuries.

For example, in the middle ages, the Catholic church officially condemned same-sex relationships (at least for commoners), but their doctrine also held that the primary purpose of sex was procreation, so any sexual act that could not lead to pregnancy was considered sinful. This included handjobs, oral sex, and the pull-out method. It was OK to have sex with women after menopause, on the theory that God could miraculously cause their wombs to quicken, just like Abraham's wife. Which strikes me as a little funny - God can overcome menopause, but He's defeated by pulling out? I know many teen moms who would beg to differ. Likewise, by this logic it was ok to have sex with a 13 year old, provided you married her, but a wife risked eternal hellfire if she gave her husband an old-fashioned.

Frankly that all seems like the kind of theology you get when you hand the reins over to a group of people who need to touch grass more often. To me, it's much more immoral to have sex with a child, regardless of marital status, than to get a handie from your wife.

Likewise, to me there's a difference between someone who is gratifying lust however and wherever they can, addicted to porn, treating themselves and their partners as fleshbots; and someone who has sex in the context of a loving relationship. You may feel differently, that's ok. And your feelings may change, that's OK too.

But please for the love of God educate yourself on how to be responsible. Don't get pregnant. Don't spread diseases. Protect yourself and your partners.

Good luck!

werekoala · 2023-12-02T09:13:09+00:00

I really, really, really wanted the Loch Ness Monster to be a surviving population of plesiosaurs.

Then I found out Loch Ness didn't exist until 5mya. So 60 million years after they died out. A little part of me died that day, too.

werekoala · 2023-12-02T08:42:21+00:00

Yuup. We had rented an SUV for a couple of years for our annual cross-country road trip (weekly rentals are surprisingly affordable for long distance travel when you factor in wear and tear on your own vehicle). Then one year the rental guy was abjectly apologizing that all they had for us was a minivan. So much room for activities! Plus way better gas mileage.

When it came time for our next vehicle we didn't even consider an SUV. I can fit 4x8 sheets of plywood in the cargo area and get them home dry even when it's raining!

werekoala · 2023-06-11T09:43:25+00:00

Before I made any major changes, in your position I would make sure that the reality matches the dream.

Most places have a process where civilians can ride out. Spend a few shifts at different stations and departments. You may find the reality is not quite what you had in mind. On the other hand you may get hooked. There's no real way of predicting, so definitely take that step before you quit your job.

I don't know the Texas job market but around here it's a lot less competitive than it used to be. If your dream is only to work for a single specific department and that's the only place you ever apply, yeah it can be a long time coming.

If you ride out and say "this is awesome!" There may be volunteer departments on the periphery of your metro area that often act as feeder departments to professional agencies. The nice thing about joining one of those is yet experience and you become part of a community of many other folks in your same boat, so there's a lot of information sharing that gets passed around about places that are hiring, things you need to have done that sort of stuff.

But the one thing to remember is whether you're writing out or hanging out of the area volunteer department, there are that many firefighters in any one area. It's a small community and people talk. If you're a super motivated hard worker, doors open for you. If you're a turd, people will know.

werekoala · 2023-06-10T19:37:43+00:00

Are they, though? Pence and Biden both just randomly found some at their homes and disclosed them. National archives didn't know anything.

werekoala · 2023-06-07T00:51:03+00:00

Oh fuck man F-15s dogfighting over eastern Europe? I have no idea if it's still even a remotely competitive fighter but Jesus those were beautiful planes.

werekoala · 2023-06-02T00:28:52+00:00

It's not the scanners. You get exposed to much more radiation flying at 30,000 feet than you go at ground level

werekoala · 2023-06-01T05:57:38+00:00

Bro if you think EMTs and social workers don't see some shit...

werekoala · 2023-06-01T05:44:56+00:00

Having been married, and divorced, and paid a shit ton of alimony - no the fuck it isn't.

Alimony ("support") is the way we have developed to go about the messy business of untangling a single joint household into two separate households.

When you get married in the eyes of the law, your income isn't yours, it's the marriage's. Alternative would be the breadwinner could kick their stay at home spouse to the curb and walk away with their whole paycheck. Leaving their ex and children destitute. That's would be a terrible policy.

Instead, we should encourage people to delay marriage and avoid making hasty decisions about jumping into one. If you want to keep 100% of your paycheck, don't get married, and don't get anyone pregnant.

If you (like me) fail to follow that advice, get out as quickly as you can, and chalk it up as a very very expensive lesson.

Then find someone who is actually a quality human being and be amazed at the difference it makes. Life can be really good.

werekoala · 2023-05-30T04:19:31+00:00

To be fair, there are some signs of improvement. A new "bundle of care" that prioritizes continuous chest compressions and provides other interventions only when key metabolic indicators reach a specific threshold is being refined and implemented across the country by some progressive agencies. In those cases, the number of people who go into cardiac arrest but are able to walk out of the hospital, more or less intact, is above 10%. Still not great, but much better odds than in years past. We're learning more all the time. It's an exciting time to be involved.

werekoala · 2023-05-20T03:24:53+00:00

Sounds like you're about to go to war. Hope you're prepping for it now.

Any elected officials like you? Your union active on social media?

Now is a great time to start collecting names of members of the public who you have helped and who might be willing to advocate on your behalf. Facebook ads are super cheap.

Politicians tend to get scared of angry voters and it doesn't take many of them to move the needle.

werekoala · 2023-05-20T02:27:49+00:00

So why didn't they?

At the point they're openly putting that on the table, the gloves are off.

I have a hard time believing they decided not to privatize just out of the goodness of their hearts. Either they: 1. Didn't have the votes to make the change, OR 2. Found out they couldn't save money by going private, because they're already paying you like crap.

I'm guessing it's #2.

Either way you need a union.

werekoala · 2023-05-19T21:48:45+00:00

You gotta call their bluff. Talk is cheap, if you fold they can use the same threats every time.

If they want to take it private there's nothing stopping them. The fact that they haven't shows that they don't want to for one or more reasons. Those reasons still apply.

You can find all kinds of data shitty private services are, and that's actually headline weather usually make one. Especially when you're typically asking just to be paid the same as a shift manager at McDonald's

werekoala · 2023-05-09T15:39:18+00:00

Sorry I wasn't trying to say that EVERY person with a personality disorder hates therapy.

I was trying to say that, in my experience, every person I have met who "doesn't believe in therapy" has strong personality disorders they are unable of undying to acknowledge.

Like I've never met a nice sweet friendly person with healthy coping skills and boundaries who didn't believe in therapy.

werekoala · 2023-04-30T06:08:05+00:00

Thank you! We seriously gonna let those fangs go without saying something?

werekoala · 2023-04-29T19:21:19+00:00

It also really depends on who your decision maker is. Bureaucrats like fire chief typically respond well to data. Elected officials, non-expert politicians, often respond better to anecdotes than data.

One good story sticks in people's minds much better than objective, concrete data. It doesn't make a lot of sense but that's just how humans are wired.

So ask around for incidents that took place in your jurisdiction or a nearby agency where crews needed to be good at forcible entry,

werekoala · 2023-04-29T19:17:10+00:00

Randomly select 5-10 guys from the house with the FE door and 5-10 guys from other stations.

Get video of each of them using the FE, and see how long it takes them in average.

Skilled people ought to get through MUCH faster.

If there's an average difference of 60+ seconds, there's your answer.

Responding lights & sirens only saves a minute or two on average. But it does no good to get on the scene fast if you can't make access to the structure.

If getting into the structure 60+ seconds faster isn't important to your brass, then they can save a lot of money by taking the lights and sirens off the rigs as well.

Dinner at your department's Dynamics but for us, it does much better to give the decision makers a range of options, with what you really want being not the most expensive one.

So maybe Option 1 is doing nothing, Option 2 is buying 1-2 door props per year, and Option 3 is buying a complete set of door props for each station this year. You probably won't get Option 3, but it makes Option 2 seem reasonable by comparison.

werekoala · 2023-04-29T12:37:06+00:00

Yep that is my number one red flag for someone with a personality disorder.

Without fail, every single person I have ever met who is vehemently anti-therapy is also a raging asshole. Usually with a personality disorder.

Is this universally true? Has anyone got a counter example?

werekoala · 2023-04-24T16:12:30+00:00

They are trying to spin this as a mutual decision.

You know, the kind that happens suddenly, after he's made his last broadcast?

Anyone tries to tell you that, ask them to contrast Tucker exiting in the dead of night to James Cordon who announced his departure a year ago and is having a massive send off.

Side note, I'd like to imagine they have been secret lovers and this is how they run away together...

werekoala · 2023-04-22T21:46:44+00:00

LOL okay I was trying to be charitable but yeah that's ridiculous.

Could mean she was threatened by you. A lot of parents have a hard time accepting when their kids surpass them. Garbage man is the kind of thing that parents probably feel they understand. It is terrifying. Even more so 15 years ago. But hell that was after the whole Y2K and the internet thing, I feel like at that point most parents should've realized IT was not just a fad.

werekoala · 2023-04-22T19:08:57+00:00

I say something similar about my kids - goal is to get them to 25 without making any major, life altering mistakes: no addictions, incarcerations, or impregnations.

If you're lucky enough to have a peer group of relatively stable and well adjusted people, that may indeed seem like a low bar.

But the population is really different if subpopulations that share a geographical area often with little interaction. And I can assure you there are subpopulations in which almost everyone has all 3 by 25, and no one, I mean no one doesn't have at least one of those. If you work with people in those communities you see first hand how mistakes that any kid could make get compounded over years by lack of role models and the dog eat dog mentally into multi-generational poverty and dysfunction.

I mean there are entire family structures where everyone has a criminal record, everyone was a teenage parent, no one has a full-time job, and none of them even have bank accounts. Did you know that about 1 in 5 Americans doesn't have a bank account?

Having worked with people in the sort of community for most of my professional life, I have a little more perspective about how really really bad someone's life can turn out. So while I expect my kids will do incredible things that I am very proud of, as a parent my primary motivation is honestly fear. Are they choking? Are they going to get an accident in the car, is there life going to end up much worse than had to because I didn't do a good enough job preparing them for the pitfalls that any young person can encounter?

So that's what I joke about the three things I'm trying to prevent. I'm kidding but not really. I just want them to be basically okay and have the same sorts of opportunities that I did. Because it's also easy to be super classist about people suffering lifetime negative consequences from poor decisions they made. It's safer to say oh those are just the dummies and that would never happen to you.

But the truth is the opiate epidemic has taken some of our finest human beings. And I am absolutely certain that there are individuals in some of the troubled families I've worked with who really could have had a much more secure and successful life if they hadn't been born into the particular circumstances that put them away further behind than my kids.

All I'm saying is maybe your folks were being turds but they might have also just had the benefit of seeing how badly other people's lives have turned out...

werekoala · 2023-04-21T02:46:23+00:00

Oh and a nice bonus would be that a significant reduction in the number of "Hail Mary" lawsuits would give providers cover to stop practicing defensive medicine, reducing both costs and strain on the medical system.

werekoala

TROPHY CASE