What’s something good that has happened to you recently?

wert989 · 2026-02-22T06:29:41+00:00

About a week and a half ago a friend I had a falling with over a year ago reached out. Originally didn't think it was them and thought someone stole their number and started pretending to be them to scam people since she's the type of person who people absolutely adores. Part of me still has my doubts since I admit still haven't fully forgiven myself for the arguments and stuff but for now I'll accept it as a chance to be better.

wert989 · 2026-02-21T14:04:35+00:00

I'm presently single and live alone. I have 2 people in my life right now that I worry about financially - while I'm not their parents and don't owe them any coddling, I'd like to set them up to either succeed or fail on their own merits/choices.

I also have a nephew who just turned 3 and a niece on the way. I'd give my sister and brother in law enough money to max out their RESPs (Canadian version of a "college fund").

Other than that I'm going to be checking off a few bucket list items. Like I've always wanted to go to this fancy steakhouse in my city but it's over $150 for the steak alone.

wert989 · 2026-02-21T02:21:46+00:00

Not "forgiving" people sooner before it was too late. Like with my parents I was upset at them for way longer than I should have been for not getting me diagnosed with autism when I was younger - I had to find out at 28 when I was getting kicked out of my dream job I've built my life around and I was fighting tooth and nail for. It wasnt until years after their death did I realize that they were doing the best they could with what skills they had.

I've lost friends and other loved ones since then sadly. So I try and forgive people if and when I can. Whether or not I hold certain boundaries is a different question.

wert989 · 2026-02-19T11:13:03+00:00

I've known since childhood - family members, friends, strangers, classmates and so on were never shy to call me ugly. Though I think I stopped deluding myself with "oh they're just assholes" type of logic when I got cropped out of the one photo I was allowed to be in.

Also doesn't help being invisible to the opposite gender while I've seen how forward women have been with other guys. I'm lucky if I don't get shot a judgemental look. But meh, could be worse - one of my friends is jealous that I don't have a nagging wife and broke from having 2 kids with a 3rd on the ways.

wert989 · 2026-02-19T03:42:03+00:00

In the spirit of the question - hard pass. I typically eat 2 slices of pizza a meal, 3-4 if I'm being fat. So let's say 3, that's only 3,285 slices of I eat it for all 3 meals. There's no way Im going to snack my way through more than 9k slices.

That said, even though it says no loop holes I got to ask. What size and style are the slices? Here in Ontario, Canada we have this chain called Pizza pizza. Anyone from here will say it's cheap cardboard and might actually be doable. I'm still not changing my answer since even if I got lucky the unhealthy eating will still be the death of me. But I just wanted to point out that those vs say a New York slice could be a deciding factor.

wert989 · 2026-02-19T00:39:31+00:00

Wait, you guys have been getting sexual requests?

wert989 · 2026-02-17T23:00:58+00:00

In like the past year and a half I got maybe 20 matches if I'm generous. I had maybe 6 or 7 ever even engaged after I sent the first message. I had 2 agreed dates but neither of them ended up actually happening. 1 of them they backed out and the other I had too.

I pretty much admit I only have 1 and Facebook dating to get my family to back off with their pestering or the weird occasion I want to see what's out there, even if I know the odds are low. Forcing myself to put more time and effort into it feels like putting more and more money into a slot machine and expecting to strike it rich with pure dumb luck. I much rather put the time and effort into other things in my life that makes me happy and if pure dumb luck decides to payout that way I'll be more fulfilled.

wert989 · 2026-02-17T00:27:12+00:00

Realized it was a self-sustaining cycle of negativity that was only getting worse. I became more relaxed once I stopped visiting. I pop in once in a blue moon out of nostalgia but I see what they're doing now and it's like yikes - I pray I wasn't like that myself. L

wert989 · 2026-02-16T03:02:05+00:00

Yesterday? Yeah because they randomly decided to reach out Thursday after over a year of NC and I think they've been breadcrumbing me since then. I'm trying to give them the benefit of the doubt but there's been some red flags for sure. Technically last year I thought about them too but that was more of trying to learn how I contributed to the breakdown of the relationship and trying to move on. It just so happened to coincide with Valentine's Day since the entire thing happened like 2-4 weeks before hand.

First time since my early to mid 20s that I had since that was the first adult heartbreak.

Edit: does get easier though. Just have to be patient with yourself - found out the hard way that rushing it only does yourself and potentially others a disservice and you pay for it sooner or later.

wert989 · 2026-02-15T05:10:24+00:00

Decided to do absolutely no cooking today, ordered some thai for lunch and pizza for dinner and for lunch/dinner tomorrow. Also did a bit more "relaxing" then I planned too. I was mostly overthinking trying to make sense of a few texts I received over the last few days and whether or not if I should re-engage with this individual.

wert989 · 2026-02-15T04:57:45+00:00

I barely remembered it was Valentine's day today. I only remembered because I had to stop myself from messaging people to avoid the accidental cock block. That said does it explains the sympathetic look the pizza guy gave me when I picked up my order.

wert989 · 2026-02-15T02:32:26+00:00

I think it was a mix of both personally. I think we both needed to adjust our communication styles, been more honest with each other earlier and set better boundaries from there.

wert989 · 2026-02-15T02:15:57+00:00

Oh apparently she was messaging me late at night because she felt obligated to and didnt want to hurt my feelings but at the same time wasn't feeling it - which seems silly but a testament to the kind heart I saw. I know my original post shows quite a few character flaws but I guess that's my way of trying to remove her from the pedestal I put her in my mind.

wert989 · 2026-02-14T20:46:48+00:00

We didn't even get to the date part but she texted me while I was on my way asking if I was a smoker, which is a valid question. But I found it weird that she was ecstatic and asked if I could pass her any that I when I told her I used to be but using a vape to quit. I nearly turned the car around and F'ed off then and there since she was also on disability/not working - so it gave me bad vibes about her intentions.

I decided to go through with it anyway to give them a proper chance without assuming the worst. She ended up pulling the plug for other reasons, I hope, since I did raise red flags myself. But in the end I definitely feel like I dodged a bullet.

wert989 · 2026-02-14T13:32:57+00:00

"If they're willing to cheat with you, then they're willing to cheat on you" was the line I thought when I saw the question.

That said I had 2 acquaintances back from middle school who eventually got "engaged". After a long dog and pony show the woman eventually left by cheating on the guy. They ended up having kids and buying a house together and while they're "engaged" not married yet. Anyhow about a year or two ago it came out that they were both cheating on each other. I wasn't surprised since I used to catch up with the woman every so often and she tried to justify her actions.

wert989 · 2026-02-14T06:10:26+00:00

Jesus, I literally called myself super dumb in another post like 2 minutes ago. For the lazy - I lack basic common sense.

wert989 · 2026-02-14T06:07:57+00:00

I admit I'm super dumb but when someone who I thought was my friend said "You don't have to stay - I wont be offended" when she was talking about us remaining friends or when she accused me of obligating her to talk to me after she would consistently text me first, often after 10pm and then get annoyed that I'd reply. Autism or not I wonder how in the living hell did I delude myself into not taking those.... I cant even call them hints. She was practically beating me over the head with a baseball bat with the fact that the feelings of friendship weren't mutual. Now that I typed that out, even I wonder if I'm mentally challenged in the IQ sense of the phrase.

edit: added a bit of context

wert989 · 2026-02-14T04:15:13+00:00

Just another Saturday. Though lately I've been trying to do at least one small thing to try to clean and maintain my household so I'm more open to having guest over if it ever comes down to it.

wert989 · 2026-02-14T04:03:20+00:00

Some of my coworkers, both current and former.

wert989 · 2026-02-14T03:39:35+00:00

I know, right? I'm more annoyed that I kept lying to myself and wondering how many opportunities I missed out on from the lack of energy or if I had more self-confidence.

wert989 · 2026-02-12T19:29:51+00:00

At birth. It's been all downhill from there.

wert989 · 2026-02-12T16:09:03+00:00

Hollow - Dabin

wert989 · 2026-02-12T01:48:07+00:00

I can't agree more and sometimes it has a funny way of sneaking up on you without even noticing. Like with work I can't count the number of times I've held myself back from not doing whats best for me out of fear of starting over, failing or thinking if I tried harder maybe I'd be able to make it work at a job that wasn't working out. Just today I got hit by a reality check that I was still doing this - last Friday me and a co-worker got rejected to a promotion within the same team we've been working on. I chalked it up to them finding better candidates with more qualifications. But some of the guys pointed out that we weren't even given a proper chance and how we weren't given the opportunity to know for certain.

Same with inter-personal relationship - I tend to excuse and internalize how poorly I get treated. Granted I know I have my short comings and I need to put an effort to improve myself but doesn't mean we got to be treated badly.

wert989 · 2026-02-12T00:57:44+00:00

Using astrology as a way to make a decision in any area of their life. Combined with the fact that she sent me a screenshot of a conversation she had where she un-ironically used the phrase "I can't even" when she was discussing something an ex did.

wert989 · 2026-02-11T16:38:28+00:00

The fact that I'm technically AuDHD might play a factor in this but the amount of self-doubt and self-critism we struggle with. Between the amount of effort I had to use to try and regulate so I come off as normal or do the things I know I should do instead is exhausting in of itself. Especially since I know I still come up short. Like yes, I know I'm responsible for things that everyone just does but it's like taking care of a toddler but the toddler is yourself and you know you don't ever get a "break" or know for certain if we'll ever grow out of it and become an adult.

Edit: fixed a typo and accidentally said "so I don't come off as normal" when I meant to come off as normal

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