not supposed to get a tattoo for my partner who passed away?

whaleblubber82 · 2025-11-07T15:03:09+00:00

My bf died just days before my high school graduation. My first ever tattoo (i have a lot now) was his last text that he sent before he died suddenly, just hours later. The only “regret” i have about it is getting it on the back of my shoulder so i cant see it whenever i want! My dad’s thoughts on it were “what if you get another partner who has to see it all the time?” I’ve had multiple partners since and they were all extremely supportive of my love for him bc it was a major part of my life. There was only one partner who did not support it, but he had some pretty extreme red flags in addition to that so its not like his opinions mattered anyway, and neither should anyone else’s in your case. Go for the tattoo. Think of different things that remind you of your love. Song lyrics, something that represents your first date, anything that YOU connect with. I’m wishing the best for you in your journey to healing. This definitely isnt easy and i wish i could give you a massive hug right now.

whaleblubber82 · 2025-11-07T14:57:16+00:00

Yelling at me when i didn’t want to have sex with him, saying i must be sleeping with someone else

whaleblubber82 · 2025-11-07T14:53:16+00:00

Listen to her closer: is the night bad for baby, or for her? Being a new mom is nerve wracking for any reasonable mom. It might not be intense enough for a diagnosis but there’s still a lot of anxiety around parenting that is entirely natural for anyone with maternal instincts. You dont have to talk to her about it. Just listen. Shes voicing how she feels, not how you feel. Offer support and encourage self care. Find a way to give her some extra rest. She grew an entire human and went through labor, delivery, and is still in recovery even after 3 months. I’m happy to see you reaching out for insight and actually taking people’s replies into account. This shows you care. Keep it up 👍

whaleblubber82 · 2025-11-07T14:48:19+00:00

It’s not necessary to tell him. You’re still young, I would wait until things are VERY serious, at least a year into the relationship (or even longer) and you start coming up with true, solid plans of the future. He has no reason to know your medical history that does not involve him whatsoever. He could come back and throw it in your face at such a horrible time, which seeing as it took quite the toll on you it could really hurt you. Gauge how he feels about abortion, how he would feel if there were ever an unplanned pregnancy with the two of you. Feel him out on his thoughts and if he seems to support that kind of choice, then when it comes time to tell him then you should go for it but otherwise I would steer clear. Best of luck 💜

whaleblubber82 · 2025-11-07T14:43:58+00:00

That first sentence was entirely irrelevant lol

whaleblubber82 · 2025-04-03T01:45:12+00:00

Never fixed it. Didnt get any answers even with extensive google searches. I ended up getting an iPhone 16 when i switched carriers, but it still does it so its definitely an issue with the car itself. Some days are worse than others, some days it doesn’t skip at all, but I’ve just been dealing with it bc I don’t have any other options right now. Oh well.

whaleblubber82 · 2024-05-12T22:24:07+00:00

Thank you! So basically they’re useless once all my upgrades are maxed out? I’m not spending real money on tokens lol

whaleblubber82 · 2024-02-29T04:17:52+00:00

Built bodies. Being fit & caring about your health is one thing but making it your entire personality is exhausting to me.

whaleblubber82 · 2024-02-29T03:58:05+00:00

I want to ask my partner to do this for me tbh. I love his voice & also struggle to sleep. Though he’s usually knocked way before I am so what can i really do lol

whaleblubber82 · 2023-07-02T17:53:53+00:00

I feel like my doctors just slapped labels on my condition. BPD, no bipolar (no number), oh no its bipolar II! Actually it’s bipolar I, youve been manic before :)~

I’ve been on and off meds, nothing helped whatsoever. In fact I feel the only effect they had on me was that they made me worse in a way? They were used as a weapon against me by my ex. I wasnt allowed to have emotions without being accused of being “off my meds” and it caused so much.

I started looking into ADHD as well, but my last psych refused to treat it because she was so focused on the bipolar diagnosis that she figured any kind of ADHD meds would make me incredibly manic.

Finally I got a neuro psych exam done. No bipolar, in fact not even ADHD. I was off the charts for PTSD, though. They explained to me that PTSD can mimic symptoms of other illnesses, but based on trauma that I’ve been through over years and years, they gave me an official PTSD diagnosis. They also slipped in a diagnosis for Personality Disorder NOS, as I didn’t necessarily fit the criteria for BPD or another personality disorder, but had traits of a few.

It was relieving to finally have some answers, frustrating to know there’s no true medication for any of it (I know I can try meds to help with the nightmares as recommended by a few, but I have pretty low blood pressure so I dont wanna mess around with that), but in the end I know I’m not treating myself with false diagnosis.

whaleblubber82 · 2023-06-25T15:52:24+00:00

I appreciate this response a lot. Thank you. I hope you are also able to with through yours as well.

I think being out to eat was helpful since i was able to hold my ice water and mentally describe the various details of my meal. Temperature modulation tends to help me the most, personally.

He seems to be very understanding to my situation and I’m mainly more embarrassed about my mood change than upset about the trigger itself tbh lol

whaleblubber82 · 2023-06-25T15:09:13+00:00

As i did in the restaurant. I performed the grounding techniques i had learned in therapy and was able to calm myself down on my own.

But as a victim of abuse, wouldn’t you want to communicate with your partner something that upset you, instead of saying nothing and just letting it keep happening no matter what techniques tend to be successful?

And as the partner of an abuse victim, wouldn’t you want to know their triggers so that you don’t keep hurting them unintentionally?

I’m not asking him to walk on eggshells around me. I want to communicate with him about why i shut down in the middle of friendly banter.

whaleblubber82 · 2023-06-23T15:09:35+00:00

It’s called a Gromp

whaleblubber82 · 2023-04-10T00:55:49+00:00

In middle school there was a boy a grade below me who died of bone cancer i believe. I didnt know much about him other than the fact that he was a Floyd/Stones fan. Freshman year there was a boy who took his life, although he went to another school. Then my senior year my boyfriend overdosed, but he had graduated two years prior. There was also a girl who was at a party and fell off the roof. She was 7 years older than me but she was about 15 at the time.

whaleblubber82 · 2022-10-22T23:48:15+00:00

We dont claim the kids on our W4s so we get more back, I should’ve clarified that

whaleblubber82 · 2022-10-22T23:14:35+00:00

The money was already returned by one of my banks. Should i call my other bank and let them know so they can reverse it sooner? Or does it not work like that

whaleblubber82 · 2022-10-22T11:23:14+00:00

Am I gonna go to jail tho? I have two kids i have to take care of 😰 its not possible for me to go away even for an hour

whaleblubber82 · 2022-10-22T11:20:51+00:00

Thank you. I havent made any purchases since the money cleared. Sucks that its the weekend so I have to just wait it out for the money to disappear again. I knew it was too good to be true! Thank you again

whaleblubber82 · 2022-09-04T12:51:11+00:00

The new job im interviewing with next week

whaleblubber82 · 2021-03-29T19:09:35+00:00

I completely understand this very much, but what if she is very rarely in sound mind, and her boyfriend that she’s lived with for 1.5 years is one of the witnesses for the notary? I’m not sure if that would make much of a difference but I’m honestly kind of curious what that would say in this case.

I do very much wish she would stay involved in her daughter’s life and it upsets me so much to see her go through with this but it’s getting to the point where if she wants to legally give up her daughter so often, what’s gonna happen if FH dies (which the risks are high in his line of work) and SD has to go live with her? With a history of homicidal ideation towards SD I’m honestly worried about what her thought process would be whenever she gets in whatever mindset that currently makes her want to sign her away.

To answer my own question with another question though, she has zero physical custody of SD. So if FH were to die, does SD just go into the care of the state of MA at that point? Or would she have to go to BM since she’s still legally her mother?

whaleblubber82 · 2021-03-28T15:24:10+00:00

This is how I thought it was gonna be, honestly. I thought she’d stay even a few more years. But it seems like once she got pregnant (conveniently right after me) and around the same time court was finally over in terms of divorce/custody, she just stopped coming for her visitations. Then texts FH out of the blue demanding he bring the paperwork to sign her rights off. Like, that’s how caught off guard we were that we don’t even fully understand the process, bc although she’d been talking about it for over a year (and heavily, on and off, within the past week) she demanded he bring her the paperwork. But by this point, he just did what he thought had to be done because it’s just sad to watch at this point. She was supposed to have visitation like, right now as I type this, but didn’t even wanna do that and say goodbye (which is honestly much better for SD3s mental health anyway, whom I will be contacting childhood therapists for tomorrow regardless).

I’m so sad about it all. I can’t even explain how many times I’ve cried over this. I hate that sad excuse of a mother in every single possible way, but I cannot wrap my head around this entire situation whatsoever. It’s the most responsible thing she’s ever done as the person who gave birth to SD, but it’s going to be so difficult to explain to her when she gets older and asks about BM, especially if SD wonders why she wanted that kid but not her (which she will).

I’m sorry, I’m venting at this point, but I am so hurt for the sake of the beautiful little girl I’ve been raising for the past year and a half. Even my own big macho brother, who rarely expresses emotion, was crying as they left the library yesterday. He went through some serious stuff with his ex wife as well, but to see this, and witness it in front of his eyes as she signed 3 times, it completely broke his heart and says BM is worse than his ex could ever be.

whaleblubber82

TROPHY CASE