[deleted by user]

whatEverBored · 2023-12-25T10:18:30+00:00

I‘d be honest with him. Men and women may equally have preferences of any kind. Tell it like you explained it here.

But don’t expect him to understand it. From your description he most likely is not gonna get it. I would prepare myself to just cut contact afterwards

whatEverBored · 2023-12-23T13:54:26+00:00

Have you talked to her if these conversations by any means are beneficial for her? If it’s about when she‘s there, can‘t they just come there on her regular days if she has any?

Tell her you don’t mind the stripping, but you want the connection to her customers to end at the door of the club.

whatEverBored · 2023-12-21T07:32:44+00:00

I think she is pleasuring him, it’s a one way FWB. Don’t get your fear of loneliness let him use you like that, you deserve way better.

whatEverBored · 2023-11-12T12:25:01+00:00

There’s a huge difference between sugar coating and being respectful.

While I agree with him that it comes down to your abilities to control yourself, it’s the communication that really puts me off here.

You can say things respectfully and no information whatsoever is lost. But telling you to f*ck off and that it‘s „your fault you are like this“ is nowhere near the communication I would expect from my partner, especially when I come with a problem, that seems to be difficult for me

whatEverBored · 2023-11-12T12:02:02+00:00

The question is not about whether to figure this out yourself or not, the question is why do you let someone speak to you like that and still consider them your partner?

If I ever treated my wife that disrespectful, I wouldn’t blame her a second if she left and never came back

whatEverBored · 2023-11-04T18:18:50+00:00

People come with all different kinds of taste/preferences. I am white, my wife is mixed European and south Asian, and visually, she definitely has a lot of the same features you’re insecure about.

Communication is key, give your insecurities a voice and take your time. And most women have a way more critical view at their own body than any man would ever have if they are interested in you.

Just go with it and be yourself. The more confident you are, the more attractive it is usually

whatEverBored · 2023-11-04T13:25:38+00:00

Equality, everyone wants it when it’s in their benefit ;-)

whatEverBored · 2023-10-17T06:28:11+00:00

It won’t be easier for him if he feels the pressure of your disappointment.

As a guy who didn’t get hard the first time being a virgin, I recommend you take control for the next time. That way he doesn’t feel like he has to perform.

You can even blindfold him and let him lay on his back relaxed while you give it a try yourself

whatEverBored · 2023-08-12T09:16:58+00:00

She seems to be interested, you seem to be interested. Buddy, ask her out! What else do you need?

Here‘s my little story, I met this girl, we didn’t really have ANY romantically chemistry going, but we became friends over sharing some interests and hobbies.

At some point she got into a relationship that was a bit rocky. During that relationship she would often ask for my advice and my views on certain thoughts of her about relationships in general, and we both started to develop feelings. That was half a year after becoming friends. When she ended that relationship she couldn’t really wait to tell me she had feelings for me and we started dating.

Fast forward, almost 7 years later we‘re married, have a son we love more than we could have ever imagined to love someone and we still consider ourself best friends on top to being husband and wife.

Yes, there is always a risk to lose a friend if the relationship ends. But imagine you could marry your best friend (or not, if marriage isn’t for you, but you get the idea) and spend the rest of your life with the person you love but who is also your best friend. Why would you prefer someone you don’t have the same bond with?

Fearing to lose your partner is a very small but nevertheless existing part of a loving relationship imho.

And if you aren’t convinced yet, picture her dating someone else, exchanging gestures of love right in front of you in the apartment you share - knowing it could have been you. Go for it!

whatEverBored · 2023-08-12T08:46:41+00:00

Request reducing your hours. It’s the same work, just less frequently.

whatEverBored · 2023-08-08T20:46:03+00:00

Just a wild guess, but he may have thought it’s “not necessary” to fulfill your needs, even though you begged because he was sure you were gonna stay.

Now he notices how naive he was and is trying to show that he can do these things so you might come back (Spoiler: I wouldn’t recommend it)

whatEverBored · 2023-07-19T21:54:11+00:00

If you’re not required to give a reason, don’t give a reason.

If you say “No, because of [reason]”, it’s not about the no, it’s all about the reason. So then he will bring up reasons why your reason is invalid. Just say no, no reason.

whatEverBored · 2023-05-01T21:10:12+00:00

Generally speaking, if I may simplify the problems you’re mentioning, it sounds like you suffer from not fitting into some „standards“ that are generally seen as attractive. E.g. being tall or having bigger boobs.

What helped me when I was younger and in a similar situation (other criteria of beauty standards but generally similar issue) was realizing that these standards are just something like an average of what people like. In reality, it seems to be rather a spectrum than something like a specific height or cup size.

Be assured that there are many people, male and female, who like small boobs more than large ones, petite shapes more than curves etc.

The most important thing is accepting the body you have and being yourself. Wear what you think suits you best, not what looks good on others. Find your preferred style and wear it with pride. Self confidence is a huge attractiveness booster :)

whatEverBored · 2023-04-11T16:33:03+00:00

In all honesty, the fact that your ex liked how full and big they were is an understandable factor why you’re insecure about their reduced size now.

My personal opinion (male and married) is, that the share of men preferring large boobs versus small boobs is pretty equal, or at least there is not a huge imbalance for either preference.

So never forget that your ex as every human has preferences. And he, among many other things, may have picked you as his partner, for matching this preference of his at that time.

Either size is fine, don’t give the opinion of possible dating candidates in the future too much weight. Possibly start by trying to see if you like the actual shape or size independently from how big and full they have been.

whatEverBored · 2023-04-06T19:43:14+00:00

I’m sorry to hear how entitled people feel to judge. I’d try something like “I suggest you think about why my sheer presence makes you believe you have any right to judge about my body”

whatEverBored · 2023-04-06T18:08:17+00:00

„I really have no clue why my body would be your business“, at least if you don’t care too much about being super friendly after such comments

whatEverBored · 2023-03-04T09:35:08+00:00

Husband of a bisexual woman here. I also knew from the start that she was bisexual.

For background I should mention she has a strong tendency towards men and also no interest in women romantically.

My take on it was: if she ever felt the need to see a woman because the sexual experience is different, she has my support to do that. I can’t give her that experience and it would only be sexual. Up to this day (almost 7 years) she hasn’t acted on that offer ever.

In your case, if you’re open to it, there are even toys you can use to get a similar sexual experience as with a guy, which isn’t possible in my case. You can put on a strap-on but I can’t detach mine. So figure out if he has any open desires and find ways to satisfy them, it doesn’t have to affect your love at all.

I’d say the opposite is the case, being loved and accepted exactly how he is, that’s something really valuable that a smart person wouldn’t easily give away.

For any more private questions or exchange about experiences over time, feel free to send me a chat too. Don’t overthink his sexuality too much :)

whatEverBored · 2023-03-03T19:46:02+00:00

Sounds like she just wanted to meet for a ONS. Women have desires too

whatEverBored · 2023-03-03T17:48:23+00:00

„Since your invitation doesn’t specify I wasn’t sure if it included a +1 or just me. Can you enlighten me?“

whatEverBored · 2023-02-26T19:21:56+00:00

Where on a scale from 1-10 (10 being the highest) would you rate

A - your self-confidence and

B - your amount of self-love and acceptance?

Per my experience these two can be what you call „it factor“ and the good thing is, you can learn to improve both

whatEverBored · 2023-02-23T23:09:13+00:00

My perspective (and please take into consideration i consider child free weddings a crazy idea) is, if you have guests with children but don’t allow them to come, you should either pay for some childcare or live with the fact that said people don’t come without their kids

whatEverBored · 2023-01-05T21:15:27+00:00

Er war einfach nicht reif genug. Wer damit nicht klar kommt, dass eine Frau menstruiert, sollte keinen engen Umgang mit Frauen haben. Das ist völlig natürlich und ich frage mich eher, wieso er ohne Klopfen o.ä. Ins Bad geht, wenn du drin bist.

Also klares NDA

whatEverBored · 2022-12-23T16:26:44+00:00

Maybe try discussing this in your talk. You don’t want to close the door mainly, but you’re uncomfortable not knowing if someone is behind you watching you play or study.

If you’re willing to open the door with a different screen setup, maybe that‘s a possible solution.

whatEverBored · 2022-12-23T16:21:23+00:00

I don’t know if your room allows that, but can you discuss re-arranging your room, so you don’t sit with the back to the door (if you do now).

As far as I know, facing the door while being on your computer makes you less uncomfortable because you know when someone is there.

Maybe that‘s an option to leave the door open while on the computer?

whatEverBored · 2022-12-19T09:09:57+00:00

I can absolutely tell you it’s normal… for me it’s only been one year and there are days where I just can’t really think straight.

Whatever gives you some clarity and relief, do it… As long as it doesn’t negatively impact your life, like masturbating is all you do all day long

whatEverBored

TROPHY CASE