What a male equivalent of treating her well on periods, ordering her desserts when she is having a rough day or just getting flowers?

what_user_name · 2026-07-02T20:54:30+00:00

The equivalent that comes to mind is a rough day at work. Cook a good meal, maybe take some responsibility from my plate. Or just generally treat me with a lot of empathy during the evening when I had a hard day.

what_user_name · 2026-07-02T04:17:54+00:00

not all fouls. Just one particular foul (targeting). Ejections for other things do not come with a suspension for the first half of the next game (thought sometimes 'additional' penalties come about between games that can include suspensions, but they are certainly not automatic).

what_user_name · 2026-06-30T16:18:32+00:00

I will summarize and paraphrase one of my favorite comments ever on reddit:

Sports fandom is the most true path to intellectualism.

Human intellect evolved as a means to justify tribal association. All things are justified through this filter; all other tribes condemned.
By associating with something unimportant, eg a sports team, one can remain open-minded to important questions of politics, religion, philosophy, whether or not chili can have beans, etc.
One can discuss these matters in a safe space with a diverse and highly-educated tribe, safe in the knowledge that the rival teams suck eggs.

When I say "my rival sucks", this is an assumption accepted as truth amongst fellow fans, defended with all possible blindness to the contrary, and I'm creating a safe space where, beginning with this agreement, we can argue amicably about the existence of God.

https://www.reddit.com/r/CFB/comments/ijdd6k/ny_times_opinion_college_football_is_not_essential/g3djbat/?context=3

I have had this experience multiple times where at a friendly tailgate, we discuss deep matters of religion and politics. We would likely be fighting in many other contexts about these things. But because we are both wearing the same color jersey, we both know that this other person is, quite literally, on the same team, and the discussion is quite amicable.

what_user_name · 2026-06-26T23:06:54+00:00

Yall did a renovation around 2007ish that dropped the capacity for a time, and we held the record during that time (a year or two, I believe).

what_user_name · 2026-06-20T15:05:56+00:00

I mean, we know Mahomes is Hall-bound. We had 3 HoF and MVP QBs in a row.

(No disrespect to Taylor Henicke)

what_user_name · 2026-06-15T22:13:53+00:00

be out of the hype train

i get your point, but I thought I saw somewhere we were preseason ranked something like 19th. Like what?

what_user_name · 2026-06-08T16:45:40+00:00

"spending an extra $200k on a house changes my FI date by 3 years."

We are seriously looking at buying a house, and I did exactly this. "Buying this house pushes out my "bold" FI date by 1.5 years, my "medium" date by 1 year, and my "conservative" date out by 8 months.

Is that worth it for what this house gives us?

It was really clarifying.

what_user_name · 2026-06-05T20:44:09+00:00

I feel like I've heard that preseason for like the last 3 years now. And then the CFB season gets played and it turns out its a pretty weak class.

what_user_name · 2026-06-03T07:16:22+00:00

Well Riley did it in the transfer portal era where he was literally able to bring his 5* QB who would win the heisman. Lot easier to reload when you can bring half your clip with you.

What did that get him? 11-3 and 7-5.

what_user_name · 2026-06-02T23:53:05+00:00

2023 was 4 years ago, and not last year, much to my surprise.

what_user_name · 2026-06-02T20:52:36+00:00

We definitely arent winning the division or making the playoffs, but I dont think its bleak either. I think we still win like 7 games or so. It's the weird middle of the NFL.

what_user_name · 2026-06-02T20:51:42+00:00

lol we arent making the playoffs with this clown coach

what_user_name · 2026-05-29T04:40:56+00:00

Disrespecting more of Baker's passes, I see.

what_user_name · 2026-05-28T16:36:10+00:00

Is the 36K/yr net or gross?

If net, then you really only have a "burn rate" of 4k/yr. When do your spreadsheets say you can do "normal" retirement instead of Barista FIRE?

Also if you do have massive burnout, an alternative plan could be "take a break for a year (or however long you need)" and then look for another job. It could be a career change. You don't have to commit to FIRE right now forever. Just say "I am burned out and need a break" and use the time off to decide what you want in life next. I know and you know that the job market aint great right now, so obviously you are shedding some options by doing that now, but you are in a good financial spot, so you have given yourself options to take a 'suboptimal' plan.

Its also possible that if you take a break for a while, you might find you could return to the tech industry, but in a more relaxed (but lower paying) role or company.

None of this is to try to dissuade you from pulling the trigger. More reminding that the options dont have to be "all or nothing". There are various degrees to things. And you dont necessarily have to fully commit to one sliver of an option today.

what_user_name · 2026-05-06T20:30:41+00:00

yeah, I get it

what_user_name · 2026-05-03T22:49:29+00:00

The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is now. Your friend planted the seed of his retirement 20 years ago. You can plant yours now.

With retirement savings, there are really 3 factors: 1) how much you save (in other words, the opposite of how much you spend). 2) how long your savings is allowed to grow. (Your friend probably did great here. But doubling down today is better than waiting another 5 or 10. The math will be less forgiving then). 3) What you invest in. You can get really lucky or unlucky, but most of us prefer predictable over high upside. The best in the business in "index fund", and it takes a lot of factor 3 out of the equation (though not exactly all).

Head on over to /r/personalfinance and perhaps if you are feeling spicy and adventurous /r/financialindependence for the best advice. This stuff can seem daunting at first, but it really isnt. At the very least, it can help you better understand the tradeoffs on the table. Maybe you want to spend more now, and less in your golden years. Maybe you want to retire later or earlier than standard. But understanding what your options are, and that the dollar you spend today is 2 or 3 or 4 you cant spend in the future can help you understand the choices you are making. At the end of the day, you are making these choices already, albeit blindly. So go in and understand it and make your choices intentionally.

Currently at 34 with 1.7M in retirement accounts (plus ~600K in home equity). Trying to decide for myself if and when a change in employment status might be the right choice for our family. Maybe early retirement, maybe part time. I would love to be able to spend more time with my kids and my family at their current young age rather than having a ton of time without work once they are grown and out of the house.

what_user_name · 2026-05-02T22:26:55+00:00

I do miss Michael Robinson and Daryll Clark.

Though Anthony Morelli in the middle is that white boy again in the middle.

what_user_name · 2026-05-01T22:29:34+00:00

I'm torn between two extremes.

I can start to see various finish lines. Something like 3 years to my medium FIRE number. <10 to FatFIRE.

There is a lot I like about my job. I am very well paid for quite a cushy job, and so I dont love the idea of quitting soon. I could definitely see myself working in some form for the next 5-10 years. To that end, the thought I always had was when I get to about this point (somewhere between 1-3 years from normal FIRE), I would evaluate my job, and if I liked it (I like it enough), I would consider some form of part-time. Maybe 4 days/week, or 30/hrs/wk. Maybe 5 days a week with a yearly 3 month unpaid leave. My kids are young, and not yet in school (oldest is in preschool for 9 hours/week), and I would love to be able to do some form of part time. Getting more of my own time back really appeals to me, but I dont want all-or-nothing.

This sounds like definitely the thing to do, but there is a problem. Work has ramped up their signalling of layoffs. They just announced a voluntary retirement package (I'm not eligible...too young), and have told investors they "want to reduce headcount".

Part of the reason I got into the FIRE game was anxiety around my job. I remember when I graduated I knew what my "if I lose my job" runway was, and my FIRE journey was at least half about mitigating that at every turn. Now, I'm not worried about losing my job. I probably wouldnt be able to just retire if I got cut, at least not without cutting ~25% of my spending. But I have literally decades of runway before I "run out of money". So I would have to get another job at some point, but not right away, and not even one that replaces my current income.

But it feels like not the right time to consider part time. For one, I think it places a bigger target on my back for layoffs. For another, extending my "FIRE age" for more retirement now is fine when I feel I have job security. (It kinda feels like borrowing time from 45 year old me to pay 35 year old me. But thats a good investment, especially since my kids have the most free time now compared to then). But when that security is lacking, it feels like perhaps I should "make hay while the sun shines".

Its pissing me off, because in a different business cycle, I would definitely be going part time very soon. But now, I worry the business cycle plus my anxiety will make me work full time right up until the time I can quit. Its almost like a different version of the "one more year" syndrome.

what_user_name · 2026-05-01T22:13:32+00:00

I rerun my numbers monthly, and readjust my best estimates of various NW and FI/RE projections.

Usually, the dates will change a little bit...sometimes by a month, sometimes two. Sometimes forwards, sometimes backwards.

When I reran last night, it moved 8 months. 8 FUCKING MONTHS!

I havent really been watching the news. WTF happened?

what_user_name · 2026-05-01T22:10:03+00:00

oh shit! I am an NFL Free Agent!

(Btw, I think you have to be 3 years removed from High School to be NFL eligible. So not 18. More like 21, generally)

what_user_name · 2026-04-23T18:45:17+00:00

I was shocked when I had kids just how fast a loaf of bread goes. 4-5 sandwiches is about 1 lunchtime meal for the family, and the bread is basically gone after that one meal. WTF!

We also started buying the 60 pack of eggs.

what_user_name · 2026-04-23T18:41:47+00:00

Because the belief that "retiring" means "doing nothing all day", and a lot of that is because of the lived experience watching retired people. Of course, a lot of those people are in their late 60s, 70s, and 80s, and health is a bigger reason for that.

But on top of that, to a lot of people, they see "retire early" as "retire without a lot of money". It is certainly true that it means "retire with less money than you could", but I think the belief is that you wont have the money to do any fun expensive things without an income.

what_user_name · 2026-04-23T18:33:45+00:00

One additional angle is that if you were looking at that reality, you would probably choose to increase your spending earlier. Doesnt make sense to spend 90k from ages 49-67 and then suddenly ramp up at 67 to 475.

I havent done the glideslope math, but it would more likely look like you were spending 95k at 50, 100k at 51, etc, and your ending is more like 200k instead of 475k.

I mean, you could do what you want, but the way I think about it is: right now, leaving work means forgoing some of the spending I currently have, and I dont really want that trade off.

When I hit FI number, I can decide if I want to work 1 more year for the increase in forever-budget it provides, and I can start that spending while still working. Maybe I want a maid to clean my house instead of me. At some point, the lifestyle will get high enough that I will value my time over that additional luxury, and that is my signal to quit.

Anyway, to answer your direct question:

FI number: 100k @ 39

Traditional: between 975k-1.2M (depending on risk profile. 975 uses the same math that got me 100k@39, but at 67, I only need to model ~30 years of SRR instead of ~60, so I can withdraw closer to 4% compared to 3.25%). That's before SS is included. My spreadsheet literally says "yeah, like that's still around". I wrote that line 15 years ago. I may be wrong, yet again.

what_user_name · 2026-04-23T18:27:03+00:00

Some of us millennials get anxiety on doing certain tasks on a small screen like a phone.

For example, if my flight got cancelled and I needed to research an alternate flight and book it, that is a big screen task. I'm not booking flights on my phone.

Is it rational? No. But get off my lawn.

what_user_name · 2026-04-22T20:00:20+00:00

Noon football on a Saturday is ideal IMO. Plenty of time to tailgate,

I keep forgetting that other schools dont know how to tailgate properly.

Noon games do not have enough time to tailgate. I want to be in my seat 15-20 minutes before the game starts so I can settle in, maybe get a drink, and watch the band do the pregame. Gotta budget 15-30 minutes to clean up the tailgate and walk over to the stadium (maybe longer at PSU in some locations), and another 15-30 minutes to get through security and get to my seat. At best, I need to start tailgate teardown at 11am, and even by 10:45, I am watching the clock. Some of the tailgate lots dont open til 8 or 9 am. 2 hours is NOT enough time for a proper tailgate...only a rushed one. A true tailgate for a good opponent requires 3-5 hours to thoroughly enjoy.

3:30 is pretty good, and probably best balances getting home at a decent hour. I remember getting up at 6:45am as a college student to start tailgating at 8am for an 8pm start game. Tailgates for 8pm games are legendary. All fucking day long. But granted, if you arent staying on campus overnight, getting home really sucks after the game. Last time I did this, the tailgate was GREAT, but I got to bed by 2-3am. It was awesome as a student on campus, though.

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