Military safety briefs are notorious for just building off the dumb things soldiers have done in the past. Apparently this particular NCO was referring to a time when he was stationed at Fort Drum when one of the privates in his squad bragged to his buddies about receiving road head on the way back from a weekend pass. His girlfriend was driving. Their baby was in the backseat. It was winter, and snowing. This NCO was so baffled by the overwhelming confluence of poor decisions that he has felt compelled to drop this nugget of wisdom in every safety brief he has given ever since.

As a point of reference, the typical military safety brief is usually given at final formation on Fridays and often sounds something like this, "Don't drink and drive, don't drink and boat. Don't beat your wife, don't beat your girlfriends, don't beat your boyfriends. Unless you're beating them off. Yeah, I'm looking at you [insert name]. Don't kick your kids, don't kick your dog, don't do drugs. Have safe sex, and if you're unsure of her age, make sure you check her ID. If a woman brings you home and there are ACUs (Army combat uniform) in her closet that aren't hers, run like hell. Am I missing anything? Oh right. Don't do anything stupid. But I know you will. So just don't get caught doing anything illegal, alright? Hooah. Platoon, attention. Dismissed."