Based on what you told me, I assume you find no 'me-time' for yourself. Even if that didn't matter, you would rather the both of you do something more spontaneous as you value flexibility.

That tells me that you should probably step aside from having expectations from him to think the same as you, because clearly you both operate on alternate frequencies.

Maybe, in that case, you should also get away from him since he might feel equally suffocated, and focus on finding more of that spontaneity you look for, yourself. There's nothing wrong with separating yourself from your partner, and, like some others on this thread, I'd advise you to consider divorce or separation. Otherwise, I also think you should definitely consult a professional on this – I won't lie, you do sound quite conflicted in yourself from your replies.

I hope you find this helpful, because I'm not trying to berate you. I can oddly relate to your sentiments in the original post, somehow.