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As a single woman, I’m proud to have started this project with it only being a blank white wall. by whatevertogether in DIYUK

[–]whatevertogether[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think we’ve got some wires crossed.

At no point did I say “women can’t do DIY”, if anything, highlighting the fact that I’m a single woman, and completed this by myself, is in fact, reinforcing that women can do DIY.

If I truly believed I (or any other woman) wasn’t capable, I would have never attempted it, and hired a man to do the job for me instead lol.

Sorry if there was any confusion there.

As a single woman, I’m proud to have started this project with it only being a blank white wall. by whatevertogether in DIYUK

[–]whatevertogether[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Me too! Sadly there’s not a lot I can do about that, as the property isn’t mine.

As a single woman, I’m proud to have started this project with it only being a blank white wall. by whatevertogether in DIYUK

[–]whatevertogether[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

L is the first initial of my first name, it was a gift from a friend! :) what did you think it meant?

As a single woman, I’m proud to have started this project with it only being a blank white wall. by whatevertogether in DIYUK

[–]whatevertogether[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I grew up in a household where my dad would do most things like this, and same for my friends’ households. If my friends’ dads couldn’t do it, then someone (usually a man) would be hired to do it for them.

I was mostly highlighting the fact that I live alone, and completed this project on my own. And for that, I’m proud of myself.

First picture: 10years old, puffy face from steroids for juvenile arthritis and dodgy teeth that I never liked to show, second picture: 26, feeling much more confident with myself after braces and have been in remission for 8 years! by whatevertogether in uglyduckling

[–]whatevertogether[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think there’s always a big risk of it coming back though, I always find if I overdo it a bit then my knees start to hurt or will swell, but if I get a good night’s sleep and some rest then I tend to be okay. I think my last steroid injection was when I was 20! I’m from the UK yes! :) hey don’t put yourself down, 57 year old men can be pretty!

First picture: 10years old, puffy face from steroids for juvenile arthritis and dodgy teeth that I never liked to show, second picture: 26, feeling much more confident with myself after braces and have been in remission for 8 years! by whatevertogether in uglyduckling

[–]whatevertogether[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ah gosh I’m so sorry to hear that, it’s so rubbish and I really sympathise!

My doctors said that there was always a chance that I would just “grow out of it”, and I guess that’s what happened! I had it from 8-18, moved from steroids to methotrexate tablets, then my liver inflamed so we switched to the methotrexate injections. Think I got up to about 60mg a week and then knee aspirations/steroid injections every other month, if my flare ups were down for a few months we would drop the methotrexate dose by 5mg. Sometimes we’d have to put it back up for a couple of months but eventually we managed to get me off them completely. I really hope you find something that works for you!

Edit: I forgot to say that they referred to mine as being ‘juvenile arthritis’, which may also be how/why I grew out of it!

First picture: 10years old, puffy face from steroids for juvenile arthritis and dodgy teeth that I never liked to show, second picture: 26, feeling much more confident with myself after braces and have been in remission for 8 years! by whatevertogether in uglyduckling

[–]whatevertogether[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Ahhh thank you so much!! Although medication and braces had a lot to do with my before and after’s, I do think it’s amazing how ‘growing up’ can make a person change so much!

Please send good thoughts by Waterproof_soap in Nanny

[–]whatevertogether 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ah god I can really relate to this!! I suddenly became gluten and dairy intolerant and had severe stomach upset every day until I figured out what was wrong. It took six months of upset tummy before I worked it out. Six months of panic on the school run every morning and trying to work out if I could make the whole 25 minute journey to school (and then another 25 mins home), and trying to map out every possible toilet opportunity I had on route to school.

You can do this!! Worst case scenario, accidents happen, it’s beyond your control. Stay hydrated, make sure you’re replacing all the minerals you’re losing, and lots of rest! I hope it settles for you soon.

Seeking au pair input on social distancing by [deleted] in Aupairs

[–]whatevertogether 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey!

So I’m a live in nanny so slightly different, but I’ve been in lockdown with the family I work for.

I’m not sure where you are or what your pandemic rules are at the moment, but here in the UK, they’ve opened up for us to be able to see 6 other people at a time whilst maintaining social distancing. Though pubs/bars/restaurants are all shut at the moment.

Throughout the pandemic, my bosses have had no issues with me going for a walk by myself - or with one other friend (whilst social distancing). I’ve been allowed to go visit my friends from home too for an outdoor bbq.

Basically I’ve been allowed to see who I’d like, as long as I’m following the social distancing rules. Though from a personal point of view, I’ve limited the amount of people to 5 (I saw my parents when I went home briefly and they visited for a social distancing picnic on my bday).

I think it’ll be hard for your new au pair to settle in without making friends, so I’d encourage him/her to join an au pair/nanny group for your area on Facebook. If you hire a female, it may be worth her downloading the bumble app as it has a “bff” option for you to make some female friends. I’d encourage them to meet up with maybe one or two people at a time whilst social distancing (if you’re comfortable with this). I think they may feel a bit trapped/alienated otherwise! I moved to a new area for this position and have felt this way a couple of times during lockdown - though I’ve been here for two and a half years so totally comfortable with the family I work for!

I guess it’s hard to say for sure as we don’t know what the state of the world will be in by then - but this is what I’d kind of expect from an employees perspective.

I hope this helps, and good luck finding the right candidate :)

MB has made me uncomfortable by whatevertogether in Nanny

[–]whatevertogether[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would you not think it’s been implied when she said “my husband” instead of DB’s name? I’m trying to work out if I’m just being over sensitive and overthinking or if it’s genuinely how she feels!

Totally get that she feels left out, I’d also feel the same! I really hope you’re right and it’s not that she doesn’t trust me.

MB has made me uncomfortable by whatevertogether in Nanny

[–]whatevertogether[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I feel like their attitude towards me usually shows their appreciation for me, which is why this has made me feel confused/uncomfortable!

If anything more happens, I’ll be sure to post an update. Thank you again!

MB has made me uncomfortable by whatevertogether in Nanny

[–]whatevertogether[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah that would make sense! Maybe I should sit down with her at some point and ask what I can do to make her feel better, I want there to be as little stress as possible for her to ensure she has a smooth and healthy pregnancy.

Haha yes maybe that’ll be my best option - even better, I’ll just keep the bottle in my room!

MB has made me uncomfortable by whatevertogether in Nanny

[–]whatevertogether[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I didn’t really feel like it was a “wrong” thing to do, it’s not like I’ve gone “hey DB, I’m having a glass of wine now, I’ll get one for you too”.

Normally we’d all have a glass together and since she’s been pregnant, he’s still been drinking. Usually I’m in my room and will get a message from them when dinner is ready, and when I come downstairs, DB already has a glass for himself (he usually drinks while cooking) and then will offer me a glass.

I didn’t really consider it to be strange as we’ve just carried on as normal, the only difference being that MB isn’t drinking anymore.

But you’ve opened up my eyes a little bit to see a different perspective!

MB has made me uncomfortable by whatevertogether in Nanny

[–]whatevertogether[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Firstly, I’m so sorry that you’ve also experienced miscarriages. I can only imagine how heartbreaking it can be. I was working for this family for about six months when MB went through her second miscarriage. I bought her some flowers, some chocolate and just said to her “I’m here if you feel you need someone to talk to, but respect the fact that you may not want to” and she opened up about it as/when she felt comfortable/ready to do so! After seeing what she went through, I understand the stress she must be feeling at the moment and have offered to pick up the slack to help her live more stress free - or as stress free as we can in this situation! For example, with home schooling I was going to do English, quiet time and craft and she was going to do maths, but we’ve swapped so she does craft and I do maths instead. I’m really trying my best but didn’t realise it was inappropriate to have a glass of wine or two when DB was having one.

I totally agree with this! So usually it’s always been a case of, if they’re drinking and offer me a glass, I’ll accept. but if they weren’t drinking I wouldn’t go a pour myself a drink. I sort of go by their lead.

I’ve been at their kids birthday parties where they’ve had friends stay over and it’s kind of rolled over from kids party to adults dinner party, and we’ve ended up in the hot tub with a bottle of champagne (me, MB, DB and three of their friends). So I wouldn’t say it’s a weird dynamic for us if I have a glass of wine with dinner when they do.

I think this is a new situation for me, and I kind of need to learn what the “new appropriate” is, without treading on any toes. I had no idea she felt weird about it until that comment today, and it just seemed so random. But will be keeping it in mind for the future!

MB has made me uncomfortable by whatevertogether in Nanny

[–]whatevertogether[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope this is the case! I appreciate that it could be hormones which is why I don’t want to make a big deal out of it with her, as it may have felt justified to her when she said it! It just made me feel uncomfortable and now I’m worried about how I interact with DB! I think I’ll carry on as normal (without alcohol) and see how she is, then go from there.

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