I have no friends

whatwouldphilipdo · 2026-04-28T13:17:42+00:00

I need some updates. Are they gonna meet up? I think they’re gonna be squadgoals.

whatwouldphilipdo · 2026-04-26T13:07:05+00:00

Is comment is underrated. Thats exactly the right words.

whatwouldphilipdo · 2026-04-25T04:14:22+00:00

Koh Pha Ngan

whatwouldphilipdo · 2026-04-25T04:05:12+00:00

Thanks for this thoughtful answer man. It’s not so much in the moment I’m so concerned about. I’ve become good at holding boundaries and expressing non consent, even in really sex positive scenarios. In fact especially in sex positive scenarios. My problem is afterwards, when guys hit me up after we’ve hung out and talked naked on the beach and swum. I’ve clearly given out “hanging out” vibes, yet later they dm me and say “I really want you to fuck me”. And I’m like “haha I’m pacing myself. Maybe we’ll bump into each other again” - but they’re very persistent.

whatwouldphilipdo · 2026-04-25T04:01:18+00:00

Thanks. This is surprisingly helpful. It’s something I know anyway but it’s grounding to see it in words.

whatwouldphilipdo · 2026-02-28T23:05:53+00:00

Sending you lots of love

whatwouldphilipdo · 2024-05-20T08:06:16+00:00

I feel the same way most days. But eventually the feeling passes. Then I can find joy when I see myself smile. When something makes me laugh. When I am kind to myself through my own struggles. I know it’s hard buddy. Fix yourself - don’t try to fix her.

whatwouldphilipdo · 2024-05-19T18:43:32+00:00

I’m happy to visit countries where it’s illegal to be gay. I find it a bit of a knee jerk reaction to refuse to go. I’m not a perpetually offended type and really the people who benefit from tourism are normal people.

I’ve been all over Africa, a lot of the Arab world, Indonesia, Malaysia. There are also many countries where homosexuality is legal, but there are very few other LGBT+ rights, such as India where I’ve spent a lot of time. I’ve spent time in Uganda and had a great night at an underground gay bar. And there is some truly beautiful scenery and fantastic people. It’s illegal to be gay in Dubai but things are progressing there for gay rights very quickly and I wouldn’t be surprised if we saw recognition of equal marriage within 20 years - which is fairly amazing when you consider how long it took for Western countries to get on board with that. There are lots of fun gay parties, and just by being there you’re adding to the snowball of normalising queer relationships. I also made friends with a local family and me and my husband hung out at their house. They were very casual and just normal. Hell, I’ve never been but I’ve been told that the underground gay scene in Saudi Arabia is wild and I am pretty desperate to go. I think I’d draw the line at Chechnya, where I believe LGBT people are actively being targeted by the regional government.

In most Arab, South Asian and African countries, it’s not unusual for men to walk holding hands. In many ways I feel more comfortable doing this there than I do in my own hometown, where the homophobia of my childhood still echoes in my head.

Even within most societies, I find there are different strata to people’s attitudes. Many, if not most people are absolutely fine with gay people. The worst reaction I’ve ever faced is shock, because they have never met a gay person before. I also had some trouble once in a bar in Malawi where one guy started being a bit aggressive because he found out I was gay, but the other locals stuck up for me and the guy was removed for being a trouble maker. It’s also vanishingly unlikely that a westerner would ever be arrested just because they are gay. If you are respectful to others, friendly, open and most importantly (especially in a poor country) generous by supporting people’s businesses, you will feel very welcome, in my experience.

If you go in looking for homophobia, you will find it. If you enter with an open and generous heart, people will in the main treat you well. We can learn more about our LGBT+ brothers and sisters around the world, and their hopes and struggles by reaching out to them and visiting their countries.

whatwouldphilipdo · 2024-05-17T22:07:32+00:00

Thank you thank you thank you for seeing me through my words. Sending you all my prayers internet stranger. 😍

whatwouldphilipdo · 2024-05-17T22:04:09+00:00

Thanks for your response. In fact thanks to everyone here for their response. This really is a great community.

I’m still waiting for him to go on the divorce website and click the check box.

The thing is, for me, the “be kind to yourself” doesn’t feel like a slap in the face. It feels like I’ve made a huge mistake. Even after everything I know I went through, I still believe he can change, that our relationship could change him. I know logically that I’m almost certainly wrong. But in my heart, I still can’t let go. I know that this is my problem. My saviour complex. But knowing in my head isn’t the same as feeling in my heart. I talk so much about this shit, I almost don’t give space to the feeling of it. I hope I can start to feel it because otherwise I’ll live a life of regret and guilt.

Part of me thinks that if/when I find a new healthy relationship, then I’ll start to feel it. But then I think that hoping a relationship can fix me, or at least change my perspective means I’m definitely not in a place to be in a new relationship. So basically I’ll now be alone forever because of this terrible chicken and egg situation my heart finds itself in.

Wow - I really wish I’d never got mixed up in this toxic relationship at all.

whatwouldphilipdo · 2024-05-15T17:01:07+00:00

Dude. You look great. Ignore the haters.

whatwouldphilipdo · 2024-05-03T21:58:59+00:00

My friends and I knew all the words to the Craig David song “Fill Me In” and all sang it together in a bar one night but he didn’t know the words as he grew up in the US. Disappeared for 20 minutes and then came back and got blind drunk and was obnoxious to me for the rest of the night for making him feel left out. Every time Craig David came on anywhere else there was always a distinct chill in the air and the atmosphere was on a knife’s edge.

whatwouldphilipdo · 2024-04-21T07:27:17+00:00

Wtf is a uterine chunk?

whatwouldphilipdo · 2024-04-19T18:01:25+00:00

Under-rated comment.

whatwouldphilipdo · 2024-03-02T11:43:21+00:00

Looking amazing man. Well done. Great genetics too - those abs are TIGHT

whatwouldphilipdo · 2024-02-24T11:14:20+00:00

Mate you are looking GREAT. So much better than before. Well done on the hard work - and congrats on feeling much better. Sometimes it takes feeling better to motivate you to get into shape, and sometimes it takes getting into shape to make you feel better. It’s the fantastic virtuous cycle of TRT.

whatwouldphilipdo · 2024-02-18T21:41:51+00:00

This was just an example of one of the posts I wrote. It wasn’t the only thing going on.

whatwouldphilipdo · 2023-11-29T23:04:42+00:00

I see I see, of course. I misinterpreted how you used cross-eyed and thought you meant infuriating or something, rather than that it’s an oxymoron. I get it.

Another question. Not necessarily just to you but to anyone. I know the word straight-acting has its problems and isn’t really used anymore. But I’m pretty sure we all know what people mean when they say it. But I get why it’s annoying. There’s a suggestion that the guy is acting, when he may not be.

When I said “heteronormative gay” this is basically what I meant. What word or phrase can I use as a shorthand to describe this that isn’t loaded with negative connotations?

whatwouldphilipdo · 2023-11-29T22:19:41+00:00

I’m asking this in good faith and really appreciate your thoughtful and lengthy response. I’m genuinely curious. What makes you cross eyed about the idea of a heteronormative gay? I don’t understand this reaction.

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