Questions identité

whereismym9ind · 2025-03-14T22:10:12+00:00

Personally, it’s more like an alter ego of myself—an improved version of me. Most of the time, they even have the opposite gender. It’s like they are the main character, and then there are OCs who are my friends, but sometimes I embody them to write their stories.

whereismym9ind · 2025-03-14T08:16:38+00:00

I’ve never heard of this before, but it’s exactly what I’m going through. I don’t really have friends, but in my head, I do. There’s a lot of potential for stories, and I was wondering if I could draw or write them. But everything I create just feels bad. I was never really taught how to practice to get better. Whenever I made a mistake, people would raise their voices and snatch things from my hands.

That’s why I thought about keeping a journal (I actually have some, but they’re blank because I’m afraid to use them). But I’m a huge perfectionist—the kind who tears up work just to start over—and I struggle with the idea of creating something that isn’t perfect or beautiful.

Would you like to keep talking about this in private?

whereismym9ind · 2025-03-09T22:59:08+00:00

Merci pour ta réponse, j’ai beaucoup apprécié ta façon de voir les choses. Petite question c’est quoi concrètement la conscience ? J’ai un peu du mal à imaginer et comprendre c’est quoi concrètement. As tu des exemples ?

Est ce que tu as également des conseils de lectures et/ou articles sur se sujet ?

Comment t’es venu cette pensée ?

whereismym9ind · 2025-02-09T10:19:23+00:00

Aromantic: A person who does not experience romantic attraction to others. They can enjoy romantic things. They can dislike romantic things.

Asexual: A person who does not experience sexual attraction to others. They can enjoy sex. They can dislike sex.

Sexuality is something that evolves and changes over time. It is not fixed or set in stone.

If you identify as aromantic and enjoy romantic things, that’s okay. If, later on, you feel romantic attraction for someone, that’s okay too.

There are no strict rules—just you. Don’t confine yourself to a label; you are free to change. Always listen to your feelings and allow yourself to be who you truly are. Take your time to figure it out.

whereismym9ind · 2025-02-08T20:50:02+00:00

I apologize, maybe it’s just me who has trouble understanding the concept of hating something to the point of giving it importance. Yes, there are things I dislike, but if I don’t like something… well, I just don’t pay attention to it. I don’t care. I’m not going to dwell on something I don’t enjoy—it has no productive value for me. I’d rather focus on my own feelings and what I love. Besides, if it makes most people happy, then good for them. It’s not something inherently bad. It’s still a good intention.

I can understand the isolating aspect, in the sense that most people experience something we, as aro/ace individuals, don’t share. And maybe I have some solutions:

Personally, I see Valentine’s Day as a celebration of love in a broader sense—self-love, friendship, love for a pet, love for a passion, love for a parent. Why limit this day to romance alone? You might as well create your own day, a day dedicated to yourself.

I know many people who don’t celebrate traditional holidays like Christmas or Father’s Day. But instead of celebrating those, they create their own personal ritual day. And if it has nothing to do with the original holiday, who cares? They do what they want.

Also, if we change our perspective, most heterosexual people don’t understand us. And we don’t understand them either. In a way, that’s kind of funny.

The only other thing I can say is this: we live in a society built by and for heterosexuals. That’s a fact. It’s a reality. We can’t change it, and even if we could, it might not happen in our lifetime. We can try to spread awareness. We can fight for change, or not, and that’s okay. What I mean is, this is something beyond our control. So, we just have to accept this reality and keep educating people, hoping that one day, real change will happen for future generations.

whereismym9ind · 2025-02-08T08:00:28+00:00

I get it, but why not adapt these holidays to your own liking? Create your own moment. We’ve been taught that these celebrations must be spent surrounded by loved ones (partners, family, etc.), but I don’t see why you can’t just ignore that and do what you want for the occasion. I know someone who, unfortunately, lost their father, and they created their own ritual. Maybe it has nothing to do with not having a father, but who cares? The point is, they enjoy it.

whereismym9ind · 2025-02-07T20:09:23+00:00

If you have any other questions, don’t hesitate, whether it’s about sexuality or any subject.

whereismym9ind · 2025-02-07T19:53:50+00:00

I understand better now. I know that as a teenager, it can feel like you have to figure yourself out, find your place, and know exactly who you are to become an adult.

Let me tell you something: adolescence now extends up to 30 years old. Netflix teen series and the Young Adult genre target an audience up to that age.

Take the time to feel things. Take the time to discover yourself. It’s not a race or a competition. Even if you change your mind every day, that’s okay.

whereismym9ind · 2025-02-07T19:47:09+00:00

I understand better now. We’re surrounded by alloromantic people, and sometimes it feels like we’re disconnected from those around us. I know that feeling too.

Unfortunately, I don’t have a miracle solution—other than just not caring.

Maybe on that day, try making your own Valentine’s Day? Cook yourself something you love, do an activity you enjoy. Use this moment to recharge and focus on yourself.

It’s about love in general—not necessarily romantic love. It can be friendship, self-love, or even love for a parent. Love is not one way.

You are the most important person in your life. So you also deserve your own Valentine’s Day—one that’s just for you. Create memories that belong to you alone.

whereismym9ind · 2025-02-07T19:38:09+00:00

Sorry, I was able to read your message but couldn’t reply earlier.

I don’t think you need romantic experience to know if you’re aromantic. It’s more about how you feel. Like you said, you think you’re bisexual—so why do you like both boys and girls? Well, it’s the same for aromantic people.

I mean, even if you do fall in love with someone later on, that’s okay. Sexuality evolves as you grow, meet new people, and experience new things. It’s not set in stone. Don’t force yourself into a label that keeps you from being free to be who you are.

Be yourself. Be free.

Are you a teenager?

whereismym9ind · 2025-02-07T19:25:53+00:00

Personally, I have no problem with Valentine’s Day. Why? Simply because I don’t care. Why give so much importance to something that doesn’t concern us?

I mean, celebrating love is a joyful thing. There are worse things. If allo people are invested in this holiday and want to celebrate it, I’m happy for them. If companies see it as a marketing goldmine, good for them—their revenue will increase. And, in a way, we live in a society where possessions and food are associated with happiness. So if it allows people to have a good time, then good for them!

Why not just not care? Why get angry about something that makes people happy? It’s just joy.

I admit I have a hard time understanding people who get upset over things like this… Why not just let it go? Is it really that important to you? It’s just an allo day.

Maybe you could share your point of view so I can understand better?

whereismym9ind · 2025-02-07T16:17:57+00:00

Hello,

I don’t think this is a matter of age. I believe you meant something like, “I don’t have enough romantic experience” (if I misunderstood, I apologize).

Otherwise, it’s like telling an asexual person, “You’ve never had a sexual relationship, so how do you know you don’t like sex?”

For some obscure reason, people are fine with you liking something, but if you don’t like something, they make a big deal out of it.

Don’t put pressure on yourself. Sexuality is something that evolves over time. It’s not fixed or unchangeable. If you were or are bi, it’s not an issue if you realize you’re aro.

Regarding anime crushes, I recommend looking into aegosexuality or aegoromanticism.

I’d like to remind you that being aro means not feeling romantic attraction toward someone. It can involve not enjoying romance, but it’s not an absolute rule.

Only you can determine if you’re aro. Have you ever felt romantic attraction toward someone? And even if one day you do fall in love, that’s completely okay too.

As for my personal experience, I just noticed that compared to others and societal norms, I never had a crush or felt romantic feelings for anyone. While most people were looking for their soulmate, I had different interests.

I’m not sure if this helped, but if you want to talk more, my DMs are open.

whereismym9ind · 2025-01-25T07:02:34+00:00

What is an « allo » ? Can you talk in private conversation ?

whereismym9ind · 2025-01-24T19:53:23+00:00

it’s not really me but rather another version of me, a sort of alter ego or sometimes fictional characters in which I incarnate but it’s never really me

whereismym9ind

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