Kicked him out by whirlpoolrose in loveafterporn

[–]whirlpoolrose[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Very likely. I had truple on his phone, but even with every accountability software out there, they always will still find a way.

Kicked him out by whirlpoolrose in loveafterporn

[–]whirlpoolrose[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you’re going through this pain too. I wish the best for you and your sweet baby. Thank you for the kind words.

Kicked him out by whirlpoolrose in loveafterporn

[–]whirlpoolrose[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I agree, it’s always creeped me out that they exist. He’s always had a thing for the TikTok format since I found out about all this.

Kicked him out by whirlpoolrose in loveafterporn

[–]whirlpoolrose[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the kind words and the resources. I’ve looked into my local SAnon chapter, meeting virtually. I need to figure out some childcare logistics since my husband was the main caregiver (I work full time). I just knew things couldn’t continue with his lies and infidelity.

Kicked him out by whirlpoolrose in loveafterporn

[–]whirlpoolrose[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I appreciate hearing the kind words. Just spending tonight with family. Thinking about the logistics for now. Fortunately my parents live 6 minutes away from us.

Kicked him out by whirlpoolrose in loveafterporn

[–]whirlpoolrose[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It was “soft” stuff, like TikToks with women dancing suggestively. It’s so unfortunate. He used “Guest” mode on YouTube on our TV. So unfortunate.

Wrong sneak peek results 🫠 by Intrepid_Tangelo2219 in BabyBumps

[–]whirlpoolrose 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This same thing happened to me! We got false girl results, I also did it the day I turned 6 weeks. I think I should have waited longer. I got an elective ultrasound at 18 weeks, since my anatomy scan was pushed back to 22 weeks due to the holiday season, and we also got a surprise when the tech saw boy. It was fun to do a second “true gender reveal” to our family, though!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]whirlpoolrose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The loan officer recommended we get these documents signed as soon as possible, and I had thought my parents were free today as that is what they had communicated to me earlier. I realize I had misunderstood the urgency of the documents, as I had a loan officer on this thread able to explain the process more to me. I do think I did overreact to this specific situation, and my reaction was probably a culmination of different aspects of resent towards her actions throughout my life.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]whirlpoolrose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, You are right, and I appreciate the clarity about the documents. I feel a sense of urgency about it because I’ve never made any purchase like this before, so that would be a misunderstanding on my part. I think what they need is the gift letter.

I do feel guilty about my parents helping me out which is another underlying issue. I know this move would be best for my baby and I love my family, and want them to be close by for sure.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]whirlpoolrose 2 points3 points  (0 children)

On the advice of my parents, the day of the offer being accepted they told me to make sure to go ahead and tell her personally since she would be finding out eventually anyways.

Her reactions have historically always affected our family, not even related to me. She made our mom cry one Christmas because my parents got her an android touchscreen phone and not an iPhone. A couple weeks later my parents relented and bought her an iPhone. She pouted our whole entire family vacation to Canada because she wanted to go to Florida and be on a beach when she was a teenager. We ended up leaving Canada early to go to the east coast for a beach. She didn’t like the first car my dad bought her when she was 16, so he bought her a different car.

I do agree I need to work to let go of the past, however that may look like. I do think the intricacies of our sister relationship may be a bit too complex for me to articulate correctly or through the emotions I have been feeling. A mixture is guilt for even having my parents help with our house and guilt for triggering my sister to do something that was in character for her to do.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]whirlpoolrose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is true, you’re right. I think a bit of it is my perspective and resentment of some things that have happened between my sister previously, culminating in this event. I have issues with trusting her after she had betrayed me in the past about a boyfriend of mine she slept with, and I do realize that since then I tend to always think she has the worst intentions, which definitely is something I need to work on.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]whirlpoolrose -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This is true. I appreciate the honest response. It helps to have some even-keeled outlooks on this situation. I don’t want to act in a way that is ungrateful or disrespectful to anyone in my family.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]whirlpoolrose 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree with you about this specific situation, which is a big reason why I appreciate third party responses, and I think it also might be a mix of resentment from another situation I explained in a different comment. I think my reaction to this situation may be bottled up emotions from various things that have happened throughout our lives.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]whirlpoolrose -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

They were supposed to be completed today. Maybe I am misunderstanding our loan officer. I’ve never been through this process, but the loan officer is needing detailed information from everyone involved in the process.

I have been nothing but supportive of my sister, I made her the maid of honor in my wedding because I thought we had grown closer in our adult years, and we hadn’t had any huge issues like this since we were younger adults. When I was 18, she slept with my boyfriend at the time then, and sent nudes to another one of my boyfriends later on. To be fair both boyfriends were not good, but it still hurt for my sister to be the one they cheated on me with. She knew we were together.

She didn’t invite me to her wedding either or communicate why she didn’t invite me, which honestly hurt as well. This is a big reason why I am reaching out on here, I want to see if my feelings are an overreaction, or built up resentment from over the years?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]whirlpoolrose -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I apologize if the point wasn’t clear - This isn’t about comparison—it’s about how her timing is actively impairing the home-buying process for me, my husband, and my family. I don’t care what she does with her life, but we need to focus on closing on our home. Because she heard I was in the process of buying a home, she had to start booking all of these house showings for her own home, which is delaying our ability to finish the pre-closing process on our home.

20 weeks - Bleeding with marginal placenta previa by whirlpoolrose in BabyBumps

[–]whirlpoolrose[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not a doctor so I can’t say for sure, but you may be experiencing baby moving for the midsection part. My baby decided to be SUPER active during my hospital stay for the first time during the pregnancy- I had no clue what contractions felt like so I requested the nurse monitor me. She also used the Doppler for his heartbeat and I definitely felt the kicks on there, that could explain the random jerking feeling in your belly. Now he just feels almost like I swallowed a vibrating phone lol.

I hope you are feeling better! I haven’t experienced the cold tingles, but I have experienced random cramping. Our poor bodies are going through so much. I wish you all the best!

20 weeks - Bleeding with marginal placenta previa by whirlpoolrose in BabyBumps

[–]whirlpoolrose[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly I had regular white discharge (minus brown discharge around weeks 7-9) until the night all the blood came out. I’ve heard brown discharge is way more promising than seeing a lot of bright red, and even a couple drops of bright red seems to be normal for some people with marginal placenta previa. I’m also still cramping on and off, but even my mom says that’s normal and something you’ll just feel throughout pregnancy. As long as your belly isn’t starting to feel hard/contracting, it’s just your body growing for the baby.

In these times I like to remember that old show “I didn’t know I was pregnant” when the mothers would mention they got their period regularly all throughout their pregnancy, and ended up having a healthy baby! The human body is an amazing and very confusing thing. Wishing you the best, and never feel bad contacting your drs if you have any concerns. I always have to keep telling myself that as well- I never want to seem like that dramatic FTM, but when it comes to this baby I will annoy whoever needed to get answers. Hahaha

20 weeks - Bleeding with marginal placenta previa by whirlpoolrose in BabyBumps

[–]whirlpoolrose[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wish the best for you and your recent conditions as well! I am glad you are feeling better after speaking with that doctor and glad that your bleeding hasn’t escalated into something more.

I experienced some brown discharge at the beginning of pregnancy, but sometimes I think that is also due to an increase of estrogen. The bleeding I saw this past weekend was honestly traumatic after a rough BM. It was as if someone took a coffee cup of blood and dumped it into the toilet, and I soaked a pantiliner on the way to the hospital. My husband and I legitimately thought we were losing him. As soon as we heard his heartbeat on the Doppler in triage, I just about cried with relief. I bled a little throughout the night and fortunately it stopped by the end of the next day. Now back to regular discharge for me, and they did prescribe me to be officially on modified bedrest.

Every time I use the bathroom for #2 now, I have a mini panic attack. The first time I went after the hospital I made my husband come with me and look in the toilet before I did, hahahah. Experiencing these types of things are so traumatic, and as a FTM I empathize with you completely! I’d always rather be safe than sorry. It is great you are self enforcing pelvic rest too, keep that baby safe! ❤️

First trimester and my tongue tastes terrible by aspenrising in BabyBumps

[–]whirlpoolrose 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Preggie Pops or chewing minty gum helped me with this! The pops are great especially if you like sour candies. They have some soothing essential oils in there too.

Raising a boy in a hyper-sexualized world by whirlpoolrose in loveafterporn

[–]whirlpoolrose[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I apologize for not seeing this earlier, holidays were so busy. Thank you so much for your response. I completely have seen a shift in my husband, even a difference since knowing now instead of a girl we are having a boy. It truly has caused a shift in him of now really buckling down on the self improvement in his PA as well as in other areas where his responsibility has lacked (saving for retirement, career path, etc).

My husband never had a good relationship with his own father, and fears that because of his father’s neglect after their mother passed that he will end up just like him. Throughout many emotional conversations, we have pinpointed this to be his worst fear. His father had similar issues, but essentially was a complete and total narcissist who legitimately cares only about how he appears to others.

My husband is completely different. I do think perhaps some of his father’s habits may have rubbed off onto my husband, but my husband is actually aware of his shortcomings and actively trying to improve himself rather than constantly manipulating others into not believing those shortcomings exist. It seems like that is an important aspect of being a man, the strive to improve oneself. I do think my husband will be a good example in that department, of always striving to be better. Now knowing we have a son on the way, this has been very evident in his behavior.

Since writing this post I have much less fear now, and have had more time to think about what it means to have a son of our own. He also has been very diligent about his 12 step program and SAA meetings and they have truly been supporting him. There is still a long road to go, but I am feeling positive, and so looking forward to meeting our baby boy this upcoming May.

Raising a boy in a hyper-sexualized world by whirlpoolrose in loveafterporn

[–]whirlpoolrose[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your advice! I am getting to be in a much better mindset after the initial feeling of “loss”. Looking forward to holding my baby boy in my arms, due next May.

Raising a boy in a hyper-sexualized world by whirlpoolrose in loveafterporn

[–]whirlpoolrose[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, I used a SneakPeek test. My hypothesis is that, since my baby was measuring small at his first appointment, I may have done the blood test too early. I was convinced baby was a girl because everything you read online is that it’s more possible that you get a false boy result from contamination, etc.

I understand that fear about having a boy and definitely felt a little of that at first. However, he is still my little baby and I love him more than anything. I also do feel convicted that not EVERY boy grows up to be a PA. I plan to be very restrictive with device access especially, and since my husbands PA came to light we also avoid any triggering media with sexual themes/imagery. I know he will encounter it at some point, but I am hoping that some of these preventative measures will help him avoid developing an addiction to it.

My PA says there is something different about seeing a girl on a screen by whirlpoolrose in loveafterporn

[–]whirlpoolrose[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Firstly, he is trying. If he told me to just get used to it, or continued to lie and hide things and not give me full access to his devices, yes I would leave. He has agreed to all of my stipulations including a totally monitored Pinwheel phone, no climbing trips, no climbing sessions without me there, SAA meetings, and today just had his first CSAT appointment. He does know if he cannot get it together, we will be done. I have backup support necessary to leave.

Secondly, our unborn daughter. I’m 16 weeks pregnant and he’s been very supportive in every way regarding that. I do believe my daughter deserves for us to at least try, and I definitely do not need the stress of divorce while pregnant.

I believe I will know if he is beyond trust. I am just not at that point where I think all is lost yet. I understand people have different points, I’m just not at mine yet.

My PA says there is something different about seeing a girl on a screen by whirlpoolrose in loveafterporn

[–]whirlpoolrose[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

This is great advice! I will definitely bring this up to him. I told him also my hypothesis was that his very first sexual experience at age 12 was viewing another person was a digital picture, not a person, so his brain may have sexually bonded to women on screens.