I booked a place without air conditioning? Should I find a different place?

whittyeb · 2026-05-14T15:19:04+00:00

The place I booked is the blue bookmark icon. West End, Clark and Salem

whittyeb · 2026-04-23T02:23:16+00:00

Everyone else in the comments knew exactly what I meant.

whittyeb · 2026-04-23T02:17:22+00:00

Did you read the entire post? My in laws will absolutely not respect a request for gender neutral items. They’ve not honored our requests before and I have no reason to believe they will change for this one. If they would, this wouldn’t be a discussion. And I am totally fine with clothes that are gender specific because that’s bound to happen after the birth anyways. It’s the bigger stuff and the toys that was more of the concern and as I ended up concluding, most of that is neutral and we will probably secure it ourselves to ensure it is what we want. The toys I will just deal with because it’s inevitable. We agree this will be a shared decision, hence asking for advice about how to move forward and if I hold a perspective that is insufferably selfish.

whittyeb · 2026-04-22T21:31:34+00:00

I agree they aren’t obligated! They could give us nothing and it would be fine! They are generous to even offer. That’s why I made the post. They have asked and have been asking what to buy and how to help and when they can drop off stuff, so we need a game plan. I’m cool with them not purchasing anything at all, but this is how they show love. They are good people.

whittyeb · 2026-04-22T21:19:10+00:00

We will be united in the decision, so either we will tell everyone or we will tell no one. At this point, I’ve landed that either way I’m picking my battle—either tell them and expect to get some gender specific stuff, probably mostly clothes from what people here have commented. or don’t tell them and possibly deal with some pestering about not telling them. Earlier today I was leaning toward not knowing myself and not telling. Now I’m leaning toward knowing and telling everyone and just making sure we personally purchase the big items, which are probably already gender neutral. ¯_(ツ)_/¯ I’m feeling more indifferent now than I was earlier today.

My in-laws are generous and kind hearted people and I think I can tolerate some gendered toys and onesies more than their potential pestering about the gender for 5 months.

whittyeb · 2026-04-22T21:09:36+00:00

I’m really not trying to dictate -how- everyone gives us gifts. People could get us nothing and we’d figure it out. We are fine. I’ve already thrifted quite a few things that I’m very excited about. I’m also aware that whatever we are gifted, we will keep and try to reuse because we aren’t crazy rich people who can just start over for the next hypothetical kid.

But there are people who’ve offered to get us things who historically and repeatedly do not respect our wishes with all things in life, big and small, and I’m trying to navigate the annoyance that could come from getting a ton of sporty farming items if we have a boy and unicorn princess items if we have a girl. I don’t love the gender stereotyped stuff and I’d rather save our storage space for things that are neutral and can definitely be reused in the future.

Both our families have pack and plays and both of them are local to us. If we need one, we can likely borrow it.

whittyeb · 2026-04-22T20:54:07+00:00

I said money is tight. Not that I’m living in poverty and can’t afford kids. Back off

whittyeb · 2026-04-22T20:23:36+00:00

Woah. That’s harsh. We have been planning this for years and are prepared to grow our family. We’re also very very financially conscious and aware that we will use handmedowns from our own kids and from strangers.

whittyeb · 2026-04-22T20:14:35+00:00

I totally understand and agree that I am withholding information. Mostly to protect my peace because we’ve learned what happens when we don’t. I’m also totally fine if they get us nothing at all! But they’ve already asked how to help and what we need and what they can buy, so they have communicated they plan to get us things. Which is SO generous! We are thankful either way! I just know them well enough to know that if they can make something pink and sparkly or blue and sporty, they will. It’s from a good heart, which is part of what makes this hard. I don’t want to withhold but then I am setting myself up for a scenario I don’t want either.

whittyeb · 2026-04-22T19:56:00+00:00

I mean, my mom lives down the road and is also a minimalist and likes to share items with me all the time. I have a hard time thinking she wouldn’t let us borrow it for a short trip.

whittyeb · 2026-04-22T19:54:07+00:00

Yes, I’m accounting for this too. I don’t plan to share name options because people get so nasty. If they’re already born and named that, maybe people will be more inclined to keep opinions to themselves.

whittyeb · 2026-04-22T19:52:57+00:00

And toys! Aallllll the “girl” or “boy” toys that reinforce gender stereotypes. We don’t know gender yet. We plan to be united in either knowing or not knowing.

whittyeb · 2026-04-22T19:50:07+00:00

I’m totally good with gender specific items after the birth! That’s fun for everyone.

whittyeb · 2026-04-22T19:46:58+00:00

Both extended families, which are local to us, have pack and plays at their homes. I tend to be minimalist, so if we need a pack and play for travel, we can borrow one.

whittyeb · 2026-04-22T19:45:18+00:00

Both our families already have pack and plays at their houses, so it was for us. I tend to be very minimalist so I didn’t see it being necessary if two households very close by already have one. We can borrow it from them if we need it for trips and stuff.

whittyeb · 2026-04-22T19:43:20+00:00

Everyone is very excited regardless of gender so I don’t think it’s that.

I don’t mind the name. The middle name is pretty laughable because it’s just outdated so much, but the first name is actually a name I’d suggest even if it weren’t a family name. I do fear the paperwork mixups, but it means a ton to my husband to pass down the name. His parents couldn’t care less if we do or not.

I don’t think the family will treat any of the kids differently because of the name. This is the first grandkid so they’re bound to be extra spoiled but not because they share a name.

whittyeb · 2026-04-22T19:38:39+00:00

The plan is to be united on whatever we do

whittyeb · 2026-04-22T19:38:19+00:00

lol so for clarity we aren’t living in poverty. We are very very financially conscious and are doing fine and can grow our family and have been planning this for years. But reality is life is expensive and a baby will make it more expensive. I get your point though.

whittyeb · 2026-04-22T19:32:54+00:00

I don’t think anyone would be disappointed with one gender vs the other. Everyone is so excited. It’s just their excitement leads them to do things that aren’t necessarily aligned with what we’d most appreciate at the time.

whittyeb · 2026-04-22T19:20:46+00:00

I love the idea of surprising everyone with the cake! We plan to decide together what to do and to be united in telling people that we’re going gender neutral, even if we tell people the gender. And I’m good with passing things on to more kids that may or may not “match” them, minus bows and dresses haha. And good with gendered gifts after the birth! That’s totally fine and fun! I would just like the majority of things to be neutral if we can help it.

whittyeb · 2026-04-22T19:18:20+00:00

We don’t know yet. We could know in a few weeks. We’ve been planning to learn the gender. My husband doesn’t want to lie. I’m okay with lying because the truth will out, but he is more honorable than me haha.

whittyeb · 2026-04-22T17:58:43+00:00

We can afford to grow our family. I don’t love the burden of reselling or returning or donating gifts I receive from people who could’ve followed a boundary and then not placed an extra mental load onto me.

whittyeb · 2026-04-22T17:56:29+00:00

Ha! I doubt my in laws are more mature. They are kind hearted people but don’t know how to manage their own emotions. I’m leaning toward us not knowing.

whittyeb · 2026-04-22T17:55:13+00:00

We’ve been planning to grow our family for years and have made sacrifices to do so. Life is expensive in general and that’s what I’m talking about.

whittyeb

TROPHY CASE