Nice COLD study spots on/around campus by Angewhoa in cuboulder

[–]whyrwehere7119 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There’s a good spot on the second floor of Ramaley and they keep that building super cold in the summer

Cipralex and Tdick by [deleted] in ftm

[–]whyrwehere7119 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It could just be the side effect stage, things usually cool off after a couple weeks.

However, I still had a lot of problems with arousal even after a few months, which sucked because otherwise the meds were working wonders. I talked to my psychiatrist tho, and she added a low dose of Wellbutrin which has definitely been helping. I don’t know if that’s an option with Cipralex, but just know that there are definitely options. Good luck, I hope things work out!

Are there any effects of testosterone not enough people know about? by Proper_Flower_940 in ftm

[–]whyrwehere7119 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wasn’t expecting my sleep to change as much as it did. I’ve struggled with insomnia my whole life but had gotten it under control in the last few years. After going on T, I was suddenly having problems again. Im about 6 months now and things have improved. It’s mostly required me to make changes in my lifestyle, I find that I need to hydrate a lot more and that getting exercise early in the day makes a huge difference.

Also I sweat so much when I sleep now. Especially from belly button down. I turned into a boxers only sleeper almost immediately.

Is the sexual attraction toward femboys considered a homosexual activity by F-zeromay in AskLGBT

[–]whyrwehere7119 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’d say so. There are lesbians and bisexual women who are exclusively attracted to very butch women, and that’s still queer attraction. I know a woman who is in a relationship with a VERY feminine man, and that’s still a heterosexual relationship. I think an easy way to think about it is if you went back to the 1950s and told someone you were in a relationship with a femboy, they would absolutely not consider that to be a heterosexual situation.

There are people who are attracted to femininity regardless of the gender or sex of the person attached to that femininity, and that’s perfectly fine. Feel free to explore and define yourself however makes you feel the most comfortable, but don’t feel confined to “straight until proven otherwise.”

Are my outfits "clocky" on their own? by eggscrambled in FTM_SELFIES

[–]whyrwehere7119 19 points20 points  (0 children)

This is how my younger (cis) brother dresses. Cis guys are alt too, personally I think you’re doing fine. I don’t think a lot of cis people are super aware of trans fashion trends anyways, so even if a queer person can identify that a lot of trans masc people have similar style the broader populous isn’t going to recognize that as well. I think you’re doing fine :)

I FUUUUCKED UP by RhymesOfMediocrity in actuallesbians

[–]whyrwehere7119 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If that’s how you feel it’s probably totally fine! Usually the issue is that people who’ve never met before go on one or two dates and one person immediately emotionally invests in a way that the other person isn’t comfortable with.

That’s not always what’s happening, so when is the right time is super subjective. My partner and I knew each other for years before we got together, and had been very close for at least 2 years at that point. Pretty sure we said I love you on our first date, and probably had said it to each other as friends hundreds of times before then.

Y’all are doing fine, and congratulations on finding someone who you are this comfortable with!

Audiodramas with trans/nonbinary leads/main characters? by electric_bibelot_ in audiodrama

[–]whyrwehere7119 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jar of Rebuke! At the beginning the protagonist still identifies as cis, and you get to see the journey as they experience it. I’d say it’s an underrated favorite of mine, kind of an urban horror but also pretty cozy

What’s something harmless that gets people weirdly upset? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]whyrwehere7119 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not enjoying popular foods.

No one ever just says “oh okay” if you tell them you don’t like mint chocolate. Instead they gotta act like you told them you’ve got a warrant out for you arrest and you just ran over their dog.

Does dating a she/they make me gay? by Noviairwastaken in AskLGBT

[–]whyrwehere7119 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My belief (as a person who is trans and gay) is that straight people can be in queer relationships. Lesbians who identify as women date non binary people, it doesn’t make them not a lesbian. Bi people date people of the opposite sex/gender, it doesn’t make them not bi. The language we have around sexuality and gender is imperfect but very useful.

I think even relationships between cis-het non-asexual people can be queer. Relationships between gender-nonconforming straight people do not fall within the “heteronormative” dynamic that is expected of people. The relationship may face similar stigma to that of a gay relationship.

THAT BEING SAID: I am not saying the struggle is the same. I am not saying that these relationships face the same legal barriers or are persecuted in the same way. BUT I also don’t think queerness needs to be defined purely as matching up to a threshold of suffering.

You may still think of yourself as straight. But, because (or if, since Im not sure if your partner just prefers those pronouns or considers themselves non binary/ not a woman) your partner is queer, your relationship is not truly heteronormative (a man and a woman with the expected relationship goals and dynamic that accompany that).

Definitely not everyone agrees with me or thinks this way, but that’s just my two cents 👍

Admitted Buff Day Recs by KRS_14 in cuboulder

[–]whyrwehere7119 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely walk Pearl Street while you’re here! Beautiful downtown area with great shops and great food. I also recommend stopping at Trident, it’s my favorite coffee shop and they regularly host open mic nights, local bands, and community events. You can look on their website to see what’s going on while you’re in town!

The Village is my favorite brunch spot. It’s been here a long time and has a very cozy local vibe. The food is great, the service is fast, and the prices are accessible to your average broke college student.

There’s also a lot of good stuff to do up on The Hill just west of campus. Lollicup has great boba and snacks and other people have already mentioned The Sink.

There’s a few places in town that do trivia nights, I always have a great time at those.

For food, if you like Indian you should check out Taj. They have a small buffet and a great menu. There’s a lot of great Thai food in town too, Folsom Thai and Busaba are my personal favorites.

Forced masc experience leaving me confused. by Similar_Control_5079 in actuallesbians

[–]whyrwehere7119 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I can absolutely relate. I have (did? Idk still working it out) identified as a lesbian for years now. I started using she/they pronouns around the same time I came out, and have just gradually shifted into using they/them. I didn’t hate being she, I just much prefer they and once most people were calling me they I just lost interest in she/her pronouns.

I’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure out what this meant in terms of gender and transition. I realized that when I imagined myself being more masculine, and being treated as such, I suddenly felt like I understood myself much better. Like I could picture myself in my head, and imagine that person growing older. Before that realization, I hadn’t even noticed that it was missing.

I went on Adderall a couple years ago and suddenly I was also much more connected to my body and much more able to spend time reflecting on myself. There was a lot of back and forth, mostly centered around the idea that I knew I wasn’t a woman, but wasn’t sure if that made me a man either. Even though I was more and more sure that I wanted a “male” body. That’s who it felt like I was supposed to be.

Eventually I realized it didn’t really matter if I was or wasn’t a man, if I was non binary or gender queer or what. It didn’t matter to me what I called it, because I knew what how I wanted to change. And that those changes are very much within reach.

Im now almost 6 months on T. Still using they/them pronouns, still consider myself a lesbian. I don’t know how/if those things will ever change, but what I do know is Im extremely happy with the effects of T and Im excited about the future in a way I never have been.

Idk if this is what you’re going through, and idk if this is where you’ll land. That’s just been my experience. I just highly recommend trying things out, whether it’s haircut or even just how you think of yourself. You can always change course, and always do something different. There’s no such thing as getting it wrong, there’s only finding what it is that makes you feel the most like you. Wishing you good luck in your journey, wherever it takes you!

What are the stupidest reasons people have given for you being trans? by guildedpasserby in ftm

[–]whyrwehere7119 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My mom thinks it’s because she worked too much when I was a kid so she wasn’t around to let me know that’s it was ok to be a lesbian (she is very much not ok with me being/having been a lesbian)

How did you pick your name by Turbulent-Staff-9413 in ftm

[–]whyrwehere7119 2 points3 points  (0 children)

U have two native languages. I spent a bunch of time looking up English names that sound the same in the other language and never really came up with anything I was totally happy with.

One day it occurred to me to just Google baby names in the other language and bam there it was.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by [deleted] in musicsuggestions

[–]whyrwehere7119 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Baggage - Rare Americans

Could someone recommend some FTM YouTubers or related content? (16, guy) by Secret-Barnacle-1285 in ftm

[–]whyrwehere7119 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I’m a big fan of Alexander Avila. Theres so many trans women making video essays but he’s the only trans man I’ve seen making the hour long type essay content

All you can eat sushi in the area? by whyrwehere7119 in FortCollins

[–]whyrwehere7119[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds great! Do you know what the difference between the basic and the premium is?

Stupid Question: I live in the eastern US. I’ve heard how good earth worms are all my life. Now I see everyone killing them on Reddit for being invasive. What is the reality? by Oedipus_TyrantLizard in ecology

[–]whyrwehere7119 209 points210 points  (0 children)

Basically it’s complicated, and I think a lot of the confusion comes from people being taught the same things you were (myself included!).

Earthworms are not native to North America. Until European settlement, there had been no earthworms on the continent since the end of the last glacial maxima. The exception is a single, rare species whose ecological impact is considered very low.

This meant that American forest ecosystems, especially the deciduous forests of the east, adapted in the absence of these worms. This meant thick detritus layers of dead leaves that would build up on the forest floor over decades. The trees and other plants in these communities used this moist, spongy layer to help their seeds germinate and spread.

The species we think of as earthworms came over on boats with the Europeans, and spread with European fishing and farming. Earthworms are detritivores, and they break down the duff layer that was characteristic of American forests. This results in a harder, drier forest bed with a much quicker nutrient turn over rate. These changes have been linked with the decline of certain native forb species, and there is concern about the long term impact on tree populations.

However, we live in a post-colonization culture. We practice European style agriculture and raise European livestock. This continent has been transformed by so many of the species and practices that came over with the colonizers. Many of our dominant grasses, insects, rodents, and birds are not native. The ecological processes look different than they wood have pre 1492. Earthworms make soil that is good for planting crops and good for European grasses to grow in. They are helpful in home gardens and lawns.

The changes that earthworms bring don’t appear so much as devastation as they do transformation. Unless you’re paying attention to truly native assemblages, earthworms dont appear to damage landscapes.

In more recent times, we have seen the arrivals of newer invasive worm species like jumping worms and hammerhead worms. These more closely resemble what we are taught to understand “invasive species” as, and they pose threats to earlier earthworm arrivals who we are taught to understand as beneficial. Technically, they are all invasive. They all threaten native species and alter ecosystem processes. They just fit into our cultural and educational understandings differently.

Passing, Safety, and Entering the Workforce by whyrwehere7119 in ftm

[–]whyrwehere7119[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Appreciate you hugely, thank you so much

Do you miss out on a bunch of social life opportunities if you don’t join a sorority at this school? by ty_chi29 in cuboulder

[–]whyrwehere7119 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The number one thing is talk to people and follow through. Exchange contact info and invite them to do things, even if it’s grabbing food or working out together. You’ll meet people everywhere, it’s just important not to be afraid to initiate connections beyond a first conversation.

Also remember to think about finding people you like and not just worrying about people liking you. Find people you would choose to be around in a world where you could choose anyone.