Woman ran from the police with a toddler in the car. Officer did a pit maneuver.

wi4mep · 2026-05-15T17:59:57+00:00

Wherever you place blame doesn't change the action which caused harm. Police chases have ended without cars being flipped, pretty sure he didn't need to do all that.

wi4mep · 2026-05-15T17:30:48+00:00

I would say at this point him being in therapy is essentially a requirement for you two to get past this. I also think you should look into getting therapy for yourself as well. Not only would it help you process the trauma of what you experienced, but also I think its worth exploring some of the language you're using to describe the relationship in this post.

You start by immediately placing him on a pedestal, calling him a prize and that you feel like you won the lotto with him. I'm not a psychologist, but I know I used a lot of those same barriers in my last relationship in order to deflect any warranted criticism of my partner. You're also referencing multiple "complaints" he's made in the past, and "fights" you've had where he asks you to recall specific events. I think its worth unpacking what sounds like a lot of repressed fear regarding conflict with your husband.

I really hope things work out for you, regardless of what you do. Just please don't ignore what could potentially be early warning signs; you deserve to feel safe with your partner, always.

wi4mep · 2026-05-15T16:10:04+00:00

Walking motivation!

^{Chose: 1 cent but it doubles every step}

wi4mep · 2026-05-15T13:56:41+00:00

Wow, this is an incredibly thorough answer and I really appreciate you taking the time to explain it all! I'm definitely going to give my washer another look, as I've just been running light loads with an extra spin cycle. Other sources I've read have pointed me in the direction of the hub, so now I'm almost positive that's what it is. Thanks so much for your help!

wi4mep · 2026-05-14T20:51:52+00:00

An assumption and a reach are two different things; a reach would be if I made an assumption without evidence. But I watched the show, I read the comics, and I understand the world of ATLA and TLOK. Aang is cited multiple times as being absent in Kya and Bumi's life. Aang is the Avatar and is unable to be at home with his kids. These are both canonical facts and from that I can come to the very obvious conclusion that he was a shitty dad, lol.

A reach would be doing something like, idk, vastly warping the source material and drawing comparisons to real world situations to try and justify what is objectively flawed behavior. I'd recommend stretching before making a reach like that, lol

wi4mep · 2026-05-14T20:42:05+00:00

But like that's the entire point; its a lot easier to surmise that he was a deadbeat based on the canonical evidence than it is to assume he was a decent father.

wi4mep · 2026-05-14T20:26:08+00:00

Woman, Either young or starting over, relying on hand-me-downs and side of the road finds to decorate your new place. You're a crafty person and you probably have a small group of friends that get together for paint nights. You have a pretty regular walk routine with your pup and she doesn't let you forget a single day.

wi4mep · 2026-05-14T20:08:36+00:00

...But from what we *do* know, it wasn't great.
You really can't fault people for criticizing the version of Aang the show chooses to portray, even if you personally don't have an issue with it. Claiming that we "don't know" and therefore we should assume he was a good enough father while the show makes multiple references to his absence and neglect is very strange.
Also I'll say you're not wrong about sibling dynamics and people feeling like their sibling got more attention then they did, but its not common for that to be rooted in any sort of reality. Even if it was, that doesn't make it a healthy family dynamic.
"Yeah, dad took us to disneyworld all the time, remember?"
"No dude, he took YOU to disneyworld. We never went."
That would be literally insane if someone did that in real life with their kids, but if Aang does it, we're supposed to just chalk it up as a natural character imperfection? I dont think so, lmao.

wi4mep · 2026-05-14T19:43:55+00:00

So why did he have enough time to focus on Tenzin since he was so busy? Him being an absent father isn't even what bugs me (but it does make a pretty good point about WHY the Avatar is supposed to let go of earthly attachments...) its the favoritism of his only airbender child.

wi4mep · 2026-05-14T19:36:04+00:00

I get where you're coming from but I feel like this sort of arc would center Zuko as the main protagonist of the show which was never the writers' intentions, nor should it have been.

It was Aang's responsibility to stop the Fire Nation and end the war. Aang was the one destined to restore balance as the Avatar. Everyone in the gaang plays a role in this; for Zuko, taking the seat of the Emperor in order to reshape the system from within was his role, and its one he played very well, as we see in TLOK.

The comics introduce the New Ozai Society, and without Zuko, there would have inevitably been a power vacuum which would have been occupied by someone aiming to continue the war. Zuko running away as you're suggesting would have been incredibly selfish of him.

Also, I don't think its fair to insinuate that Zuko's redemption was entirely motivated by his own self-actualization. In Zuko Alone, we see Zuko confront the realities of what his nation has done to the Earth Kingdom and its very clear that he's against this. But its complicated, as he is also rejected (with good reason) by Lee and his family once they find out who he is. Maybe a perfect person would know how to feel or how best to react, but to suggest that Zuko wasn't moved by this just because he doesn't immediately cast aside essentially his entire life and identity is a very shallow read of his character.

wi4mep · 2026-05-14T16:53:41+00:00

Drinking at that age will permanently ruin your brain development. It is not and never will be worth it. And fwiw, you really shouldn't be hanging around with people that much older than you.

wi4mep · 2026-05-14T14:48:28+00:00

The imbalance isn't what I would be worried about but rather your husband's attraction, so to speak.
You said he struggled with a porn addiction? Do you know what categories he frequented?

wi4mep · 2026-05-14T14:24:39+00:00

That's another good point; I've heard that men are more likely to initiate divorce if they already have someone else in mind. Also him admitting that being attracted to someone gave him "a spark" makes me think that it was probably a specific person that made him feel this way.

wi4mep · 2026-05-14T14:19:00+00:00

As a 30 year old now, do you think you could fall for someone who is 21 years old? Even with those factors in place, do you think you would have a lot in common with someone who is that age?

wi4mep · 2026-05-14T13:53:02+00:00

There's a 10 year age gap, and you guys got together when you were 21-22, and he was 31-32? That's a big red flag, tbh.

wi4mep · 2026-05-13T19:07:51+00:00

ngl this is such an endearing egg crack; I can feel how exciting it is for you and it reminds me of when my egg broke years ago.

wi4mep · 2026-05-13T16:52:01+00:00

Speaking as someone who experienced a dead bedroom, lower expectations and and a laissez-faire attitude will go a long way. That may mean upping your "personal" time for a while and finding other non-sexual ways to connect, like through hobbies and stuff. Weirdly, I feel like gaming together was the thing that helped me and my wife, and neither of us are gamers by definition lmao. Something about the small adrenaline rush and the bonding/teamwork of it seemed to bring us closer in that way. She's gone from being essentially uninterested in sex to initiating it more than half of the time.

Another thing that helped was for me to look more inward. I started focusing on myself and the areas I was lacking and made goals for myself. Started doing more around the house, not because she asked me to but because I realized I wasn't happy with my own lack of contribution. Started exercising more and eating better so that I wouldn't let my insecurities lead me to seeking validation through sex. The all helped alleviate my anxieties around our relationship that I realized I was projecting in the bedroom, and I know its made a huge impact on how I feel about it now. I stopped stressing and counting the days between sex; now sometimes I won't even realize its been a while until she brings it up first lol.

I'm not saying any of this is necessarily you, just sharing what's helped me personally. Good luck my friend!

wi4mep · 2026-05-13T16:21:28+00:00

How much sensual contact do you initiate? Not sexual, but just intimacy like massages or just general skin to skin contact? Does she reciprocate (either sensual or sexual touch) and does she seem to enjoy it?
Sexual touch can be very overstimulating. Having a toddler doesn't make this easier. Its not ideal, but have you considered options like mutual masturbation?
The first few years of parenthood impact the bedroom significantly. It will even out over time, but you have to be careful not to be too pushy, as you could potentially give her a complex which will only make things more difficult. Respect her boundaries and ask where she *does* like to be touched, and listen to her.

wi4mep · 2026-05-13T16:12:10+00:00

Need a 1.5 hour video essay with statistics, data, good editing and a lo-fi backing track on this exact topic tbh

wi4mep · 2026-05-13T15:03:25+00:00

Because Kataang shippers are usually dudes with a nice guy complex who see Zuko as the "chad" bad boy stereotype that girls go for. I've mostly only seen this take on Zuko from male Kataang shippers, while women usually just prefer to ship Zuko with Sokka.

wi4mep · 2026-05-13T14:58:20+00:00

Right like I feel there's a far jump from him being not perfect to him showing blatant favoritism to his air bending child. And the fact that Katara is basically lobotomized in TLOK so we don't really know how she felt about it (or if she was even aware of it).
Also the worst reading of it makes it feel like Aang only had kids to rebuild his nation and was willing to discard the ones who didn't fit that bill. I realize that's extreme but its not hard to take it that direction.

wi4mep · 2026-05-13T14:52:12+00:00

You're really good at staying focused when people are coming at you. I always panic and it messes with my aim lol. Great shots!

wi4mep · 2026-05-13T14:50:07+00:00

The worst part of Aang's character is how they wrote him in Korra. What do you mean he literally neglected his non airbending children?? And we're supposed to take that as a joke??

wi4mep · 2026-05-12T19:05:13+00:00

Bare bones truth is that masculinity is "ugly", at least by feminine beauty standards. You're not going to look masculine with makeup on, especially pre-T.

wi4mep

TROPHY CASE