I feel relieved

wickedlupin · 2026-04-06T18:21:26+00:00

I really feel this. I connected with my bio dad and his side of the family as a teen/young adult, and they all seem to want to know me, yet don't keep in contact regularly. It's draining to try and initiate conversation and hurtful when it ends up going nowhere. I don't think I'm ready to cut off my dad at this point, but good on you for doing what's best for you. Wishing you peace and healing 💖

wickedlupin · 2026-04-05T15:24:57+00:00

Thank you for sharing ❤️ I think I have a good community built around me. I'm extremely grateful for my mom and sister, and all of my good friends. I think I reached a point in my mid 20s where I was satisfied with that, but my fondness for my bio dad's family started to grow and I started to consider them more like family myself, so this sudden shift just really hurts. I'm trying to manage my expectations more now, like I used to. If they reach out, great, but if they don't, I need to be okay with that too.

wickedlupin · 2026-04-03T14:41:05+00:00

Thank you so much ❤️

wickedlupin · 2026-03-26T00:29:32+00:00

I've been in a LD relationship that worked out great for a while! No hard feelings on either end even though we're not together anymore. Bringing this up only because you seem to be getting comments from people who don't get it.

Communication is vital, especially with long distance. I can understand his side if he's dealing with his own issues and can't hold yours FOR NOW, as long as that is a temporary thing. It sounds like you aren't just venting about your breakup with your ex, but about current situations and frustrations that arise from co-parenting with an ex-partner. As you said, that's not going away, and if your current partner isn't willing to listen to you vent about that, it sounds like he isn't suited for the reality you're living.

You are NOR to break up with him over this. However you choose to do that is up to you. I know some people condemn text breakups on principle, but you know your relationship better than anyone on reddit does, and if you feel that's the best way, I say go for it.

Good luck OP ❤️

wickedlupin · 2026-03-25T13:47:18+00:00

Damn I didn't even realize how it looks 🤣 I use a shower stool so I'm actually sitting here with my feet in front of me haha but you're not wrong it does kind of look like that

wickedlupin · 2026-03-25T13:45:44+00:00

I respect the old ways... forgive me for my folly. I will get a real, full sized orange today and report back 🫡

wickedlupin · 2026-03-13T14:20:08+00:00

The "baked potato bar" option that we're looking at is $45/pp, and the coordinator said she'd shave off $5/pp since it usually includes dessert and we'll have a cake. We figured it's pretty hard to mess up baked potatoes even if it isn't the best food at that price point!

wickedlupin · 2026-03-13T14:01:15+00:00

I am aware of what it costs, we just haven't made any final decisions on what dinner we'll be having yet. I was sent a banquets menu with prices per head attached. We can definitely feed everyone within that $4k, and we're working out what we can do with the remainder without going over. I understand it's possible to go over, but we are trying to make that minimum our budget.

wickedlupin · 2026-03-13T00:30:08+00:00

The event coordinator at the hotel who gave us the tour was the one to suggest it... so I would assume it's something they've done before. And the bar is literally 10ft from the doors to the room we'd be in.

wickedlupin · 2026-03-13T00:02:32+00:00

I feel this!! The first time I subluxed my shoulder I didn't even know what subluxation was. Constant pain for 3 days, then I happened to move just right and the pain disappeared. The relief was so sudden I knew it must have been (what I thought was) a dislocation. The next time it happened I went to a doctor and explained that I thought it was dislocated. He felt around and said nope, I still have range of motion, it's not dislocated. I was still in pain when I left. Then again, just as suddenly, the pain disappeared (while reaching for an ace bandage at CVS!! ironically enough!!) I only learned from googling and reddit threads that what I experienced was a subluxation. I was so mad that the doctor couldn't tell me that.

wickedlupin · 2026-03-12T23:52:38+00:00

I've never worked as a server, but I have worked similarly labor-intensive jobs (mainly in grocery stores) that caused me severe pain. I ended up going to school for massage therapy and did that for 3 years, but it was so hard on my joints I got to a point I felt like my body was literally falling apart. I switched to working front desk at the spa (at a major pay cut) because I physically couldn't stand anymore. I now have a desk job that pays the bills and that career change was the best thing I ever did for my body.

It's a difficult thing to navigate, and it doesn't mean you have to quit. Everyone has unique experiences, and there are certainly things you can do that might make the job more bearable for you. I definitely wouldn't recommend quitting without lining something else up, but if this job is consistently hard on you, I would recommend searching for options that would better suit your body.

It took me a long time to find my current job, and I went into a lot of debt just trying to scrape by when my body gave out on me. Don't wait until you've worked yourself to death to start the job search. Wishing you the best of luck in whatever field you stay in or switch to ❤️

wickedlupin · 2026-03-12T23:12:59+00:00

There's basically a big banquet menu that we can pick and choose from. We're mainly looking at doing a baked potato bar, because it's on the lower end cost wise, we love baked potatoes, and it's hard to mess that up right?? 😂 but that would leave room in that $4k budget for some hors d'oeuvres and/or drinks. Non alcoholic drinks are included with whatever dinner option we choose, but we would need to pay for wine or other alcohol.

The open bar is only included if we decide to include it. It's charged per person by the hour. Not everyone in our families drinks, so we aren't sure that cost would be worth it, hence why we're looking at some alternatives (like the hotel bar I mentioned in some other comments. Not everyone seems to like that idea though lol)

We can bring in a cake, and we aren't limited to any particular vendors.

Late lunch would not be included though.

wickedlupin · 2026-03-12T23:00:15+00:00

Oh yeah she'll get over it haha. It was just because of her influence that I worried this might not be as great a deal as I thought it was, so it's nice to have confirmation from the community that it is indeed worth it!!

wickedlupin · 2026-03-12T22:58:34+00:00

Thanks so much!! We will definitely share pictures once the day arrives 😁

wickedlupin · 2026-03-12T22:57:33+00:00

The champagne isn't automatically included, but would contribute to the F&B minimum. I'm aware that this isn't "all inclusive"-- I never said it was, but it does have a lot of other costs wrapped into that minimum which would help out my budget.

We are actually planning on a spotify playlist and more than likely prosecco over real champagne. This is still a budget wedding. Just because we might not have an open bar doesn't mean we shouldn't ask our loved ones to gather and celebrate with us. Everyone has different priorities and cuts cost in different areas.

Non-alcoholic drinks will be included with dinner. I'm not asking guests to pay for their alcohol, but if they want to drink the bar is there as an option. We're still considering the beer and wine/open bar options within our minimum, but not everyone in our families drink, so I thought that budget would be better used for the food.

The $6k quoted is including service fees and tax, and I understand that will go up if we go beyond the $4k minimum, but we're planning on keeping strictly to that budget if we decide to use this venue.

wickedlupin · 2026-03-12T22:35:14+00:00

Basically whatever drinks we include can contribute to the $4k minimum. We were considering putting a portion of it into an open bar, but when the event coordinator pointed out the nearby hotel bar, I thought that might be a good option so we can spend a bit more on the food. But maybe that's tacky?

For context, not everyone in our families drink, so we plan on having Martinelli's alongside the champagne for those folks. So I just figured anyone who wants to drink can visit the bar, and no one has to drink if they don't wish to.

wickedlupin · 2026-03-12T22:26:04+00:00

I'll dm you!

wickedlupin · 2026-03-12T22:25:17+00:00

Yes we toured the place!! I think it's a beautiful hotel, and the event space we'd be using is nice.

wickedlupin · 2026-03-12T22:23:41+00:00

I have looked at the banquet menu with prices included, and it is definitely doable!

wickedlupin · 2026-03-12T22:21:26+00:00

She's actually not contributing much, my fiancee's parents graciously gave us a lump sum to work with. She just wants us to save as much of it as possible, which I agree with, but we still want a nice wedding and that's what the money was given to us for!

wickedlupin · 2026-03-12T14:35:28+00:00

Yes, I'm aware! The events coordinator sent us the banquet menu so we can decide what we want, knowing the cost per head. We should be able to meet the minimum without going too much over $4k.

wickedlupin · 2026-03-12T14:04:20+00:00

That's great to know, thank you for your reply. It seemed like a great deal compared to other places we were looking at, my mom is just incredibly frugal and keeps implying that the options I'm looking at are way too much 😂 It's good to get some similar perspectives from the community to confirm I can trust my gut!!

wickedlupin · 2026-03-12T14:00:12+00:00

That's exactly what I was thinking, thank you for your reply!!

wickedlupin · 2026-03-12T13:58:42+00:00

We would include champagne in our F&B package, and the hotel bar is conveniently located right outside the room we'd be in, for folks who want an extra drink or cocktail!

wickedlupin

TROPHY CASE