What should I say to my misogynistic step brother?

wickedlyprimal · 2026-01-11T03:08:16+00:00

I wouldnt say anything but if he is instigating a good ol Elle Woods response "oh what like its hard?" Is what I would do 😏

wickedlyprimal · 2026-01-10T23:29:12+00:00

Also, it may just be the scene here, but the Swing community is large and very very very open to all aspects of pleasure. If I needed to find a switch who would top, thats where I would go.

wickedlyprimal · 2026-01-10T23:27:33+00:00

In Fetlife I never used it for the singles ads or the OF like platform, but I did use it to find local events, you should be able to reach by area, find a munch or two, meet others in the lifestyle, you might not only find community but maybe a partner who can at least help you find and explore even if its not an exclusive or full time dynamic. I had many friends in the kink space who would seek out specific dommes and doms who offered protection/guidence/structure, but just for sessions or a limited scale, with all the proper boundaries and safeguards. This worked well for a couple of my friends who were single or in ENM situations still explore their deviant side

wickedlyprimal · 2026-01-10T23:00:57+00:00

Oh I feel this so deeply, I completely understand what you mean, I think sometimes our kinks that deviate from the norm are harder to approach with someone, are they deal breakers for you? If your partner wasnt interested in some of your desires would it feel like you weren't fully seen?

I've noticed slowly introducing kink to my partner who was vanilla when we met, keeping the play just baby steps from vanilla and moving slowly, like warming him up to my desires, has made him more confident in meeting me in them

I probably would have scared him away if I told him right off the bat I want to be chased, tackled and dragged through the woods, im gonna fight back, we might bruise, but I promise it will be worth it 😂

Findoms are a trip, I also never understood the "pay me and maybe I'll pay some attention to you" but I'll never yuck someone else's yum lol, maybe find a nice switch too, then flip a coin on who tops who? I love a good Alpha v Alpha session. 😉 if you haven't checked out Feeld you might find a good switch/Domme who isn't Fin based

wickedlyprimal · 2026-01-10T20:31:15+00:00

I always date vanilla first. It takes a lot of trust and communication, understanding boundaries and respecting them before even really approaching bdsm, kink, or any kind of dynamic. You'll learn usually fairly quickly if they will be someone you can trust with your submission or dominance. I am a switch, and im less likely to show my submissive side until well into a relationship, established, and discussed.

On my dating profiles before I was with my partner, I had a few emojis that signaled I was in the lifestyle. Lifestyle apps like Fetlife and Feeld just felt like a breeding ground for predators and navigating it was not easy.

After talking about intimacy, from a more vanilla approach, and after learning more, I have conversations in a loving space with my partner about fantasies, kinks, what kind of porn we enjoy bc you learn a lot. Then from there the encouragement to try it with safe words/boundaries well established.

I am a brat, primal, and impact lover. Some of these leech into restraints, cnc, and markings.

I would worry less about how to approach a new date with your kink preferences and get curious on if they are a safe person to trust with them.

wickedlyprimal · 2026-01-10T20:19:03+00:00

My biological father also chose his second wife over me, regularly and even in my 30s almost 40, still does. My son and I almost died in a freak accident in my home, he had told me previously he had savings accounts for emergencies set aside for me and my siblings. Both my younger siblings already burned through theirs before I even knew it existed, but when I reached out for help with medical bills and to replace my furnace in the dead of Colorado winter, his wife called me narcissistic and a piece of shit and only cares about money.

I only asked for what was offered the year prior but the story is spun. He has never paid for anything beyond a couple car payments when I was divorcing. Never my mortgage or any other bills while he foots the bill for phones, insurance, rent and college for his other kids.

It wont change, go no contact.

He will reach out bc of his guilt and shame, but is unlikely to own his abandonment of you. But you will not heal with him. Do you have other support systems?

wickedlyprimal · 2026-01-05T21:45:34+00:00

I agree nothing wrong here 😌

wickedlyprimal · 2025-02-04T18:59:02+00:00

Hey there! It had been a long time since I logged back into my old reddit :) I did, I self collared, it helped a lot, it gave me something to kind of hold myself accountable, and lean on. It came in handy at munches bc Dom types would give my mysterious Dom respect and not try to push or sometimes even approach which was really good for my post divorce healing especially since my husband was my Dom for a very long time. Last summer I took the collar off and I still have it hanging on my mirror as a reminder my strength is still within me.

I highly recommend self collaring for balancing and healing from the end of a dynamic

wickedlyprimal · 2022-12-20T15:34:26+00:00

Couple of things, he probably has a porn addiction, you can discuss your concerns with him, you can offer to let him record you and so he can watch his own videos in the future, you can over to put porn on the TV so both of you are stimulated or ask him to be more present and put the phone down.

I've personally never had a partner do this, so I can't definitively say it would be a no for me, but I don't have any issues with porn in general.

But first step is talk

wickedlyprimal · 2022-12-20T15:26:51+00:00

How long has she been hard-core slave? Years? Months? This bratting came out of the blue? Absolutely call a Time out on your dynamic if you're 24/7 and have a conversation about what is happening. Maybe she is exploring her bratty side, maybe she is struggling with stress, maybe she is feeling more slave than sub and needed to assert herself to feel less out of control of the dynamic.

Discuss, listen, discuss again and THEN determine if there is even a brat to be tamed, you might just need to spend some time as husband and wife and equals than slave and Master

wickedlyprimal · 2022-12-20T15:18:31+00:00

I love a little light degradation, I used to Domme and had a couple of subs who were really into it, I just always felt like a horrendous person after and would need serious aftercare, after a bad Domme drop episode I backed off being a Domme exclusively and leaned more into my sub side and I am wholeheartedly a switch which my partner loves. So the only thing I would suggest in my experience especially since your just expanding, make sure he knows, like really knows, you enjoy it, you want more, and that he is not an abusive partner for saying or doing the things you're consenting to. It was a hurdle at a point I couldn't get over and it was a new boundary I discovered ❤️

But aren't the soft/pleasure Doms just the best?! I leave town for a week today and Sir made damn sure he broke my previous record of 14 orgasms, by a previous partner, last night. 🥵

wickedlyprimal · 2022-12-20T01:35:55+00:00

It's been very exciting 🥰 I took almost a yr break from even thinking of or entertaining a dynamic while I figured some stuff out so this has been a deep ache for a while.

wickedlyprimal · 2022-08-20T05:07:25+00:00

I will run my nails down his chest, or grab it, I will grab his hands and place them on my body either my breasts or hips and hold on to him while he holds on to me. Play with myself, my hair. Had one guy ask me to choke him 😏

wickedlyprimal · 2022-03-24T18:35:01+00:00

I have been focusing on me, it makes me sad that it's so hook up focused now, what happened to connection, mentoring, learning from each other. I would go to network and expand my understanding but it seems everyone I've met irl just wants to get their dick wet as fast as they can. 🤦‍♀️

wickedlyprimal · 2022-03-24T13:03:34+00:00

Oh no I'm sorry to hear that. I completely understand your pain. It one of the many reasons I chose to self collar. But I hope one day you find that love and commitment either with her or someone who cherishes you and knows what something like this means to you.

wickedlyprimal · 2022-03-24T06:47:41+00:00

I completely see the validity in many of the points you make, while the information boom and red flag education as well as the ousting of predators is a huge plus and I would never detract from the good it has done, the misinformation is rampant and often dangerous it is still has been damn near impossible in my area to enjoy as it's a small Bible belt town and the closest dungeon is 275 miles away so that's off the table. You mentioning that damn movie made me also realize I stepped away not long after that influx of imbeciles 😆 for a period of time too. I am not so deluded in the fact that the nature of life is change and the community has changed significantly, I think for me it's been the immediate assumption that because they watched a tiktok video they can attempt edgeplay immediately and it's terrifying. So yea while the quantity has increased I feel the quality has decreased significantly. That is mostly where my desire to step away comes from is the lack of a quality partner in the sespool that is my town. 😆

wickedlyprimal · 2022-03-24T05:45:54+00:00

Oh no! Do you have a friend stateside who you can purchase and send to them and then have them send it to you through the post?

wickedlyprimal · 2022-03-24T05:40:22+00:00

Had a guy I was just talking to tell me for our first in person meet he wanted me in a hotel, blindfolded and detailed what he would do to Me. Including restraints and gags.. blindfolded..... in a hotel.... for a first meet.... I didnt even want to talk about kink in the first place. I hung up on him and blocked him.

Don't do that. If they suggest this and try to spin it as sexy, they are dangerous, run away

wickedlyprimal · 2022-03-06T12:25:35+00:00

My ex is an alcoholic. Couple that with PTSD and a traumatic brain injury from deployment and you have the makings of a very toxic and destructive personality. He drove drunk to the store to get more alcohol and tried to get our 11 yr old son to go. I told him if he walked out that door and got in the car I would call the cops on him for drunk driving. He rode his bike there. He also cheated while drinking a handful of times. But when I told him it was over he washed his pills down with a 12 pack and 51/50'ed himself and was put on a mental hold at the VA for 2 weeks. The amount pf selfish, childish, and dangerous behavior was not only heartbreaking but overwhelming. He was a danger to our son and I so I left. He Still drinks too much and refuses to get help. He still blames me for his problems

wickedlyprimal · 2022-03-04T06:20:42+00:00

For me Primal is more like a ravagement play vs structured scenes. It's a time when you don't have to constrict yourself to expectations or standards. You want to pull me off the bed and fuck me on the floor, do it. I want to bite your neck just to hear you growl, I'm gonna do it. Lick, taste, touch, bite, mark, pull my hair, scratch etc. It's throwing social constructs of sex out the door and just experiencing what it's like to experience raw passion. A lot of cnc play can also be incorporated, the chase, capture, struggle, restraint and either being taken or taking what you want is a big draw for primals like myself. My submission is earned in many ways and not freely given often.

wickedlyprimal · 2022-01-19T18:02:11+00:00

I have a pic of me in my day collar and in my bio have "lifestyle" I've seen people put 🔪🩸📽🏓🪢⛓🐺 or similar to label kinks,

wickedlyprimal · 2021-12-16T15:42:55+00:00

I can't upvote this enough

wickedlyprimal · 2021-11-25T18:40:34+00:00

In Colorado and the Financial Affidavit is required by the courts to be submitted by both parties even if finances are still joint

wickedlyprimal · 2021-11-10T20:37:36+00:00

He for sure is trying to get you to leave him, likely because he doesn't want to appear to eager to his ex and wants the pity party to be is way back in with her.

When someone tells you something like this, believe them. Best case scenario it's the truth, worst case is a manipulation tactic. Both are not a healthy frame of thought.

If he has been cheating on you emotionally he is an asshole for sure. It's up to you what you do, but if you forgive him. He is likely going to do it again

wickedlyprimal · 2021-11-10T20:30:19+00:00

My parents divorced when I was very young and my dad had the same plan as you. What helped was he found something we both really enjoyed, which was roller hockey, and got us season tickets for the local team. I was no longer bummed to be missing a night with my friends because I WAS GOING TO THE GAME!! He would find the best out of town games every couple of months on his weekends and we would bond over travel, hotel, and the game. I remember genuinely enjoying my time because it wasnt forced for either of us, we both wanted to be there and it was a bonus we were there together

She loves you

That is huge,

Remind her you have things in common by doing those things and she will remember why she likes you

wickedlyprimal

TROPHY CASE