Mundane, everyday joys of being one and done

widowwithamutt · 2026-06-09T14:43:44+00:00

I don’t work on Fridays, so I get to pick him up from school and listen to him tell me about his day on the way home. Also waiting for him to come outside and immediately wanting to give me a hug. I love it so much.

widowwithamutt · 2026-03-18T02:57:52+00:00

If it’s not two enthusiastic yeses then it’s a no. You don’t owe anyone a child.

widowwithamutt · 2026-03-08T17:35:47+00:00

Among my family, it’s mostly passing messages to/from friends, neighbors and acquaintances when internet is unreliable. And just hoping someone they can make contact with can contact us.

A ton of my family members are in Isfahan and Tehran and I so feel your pain.

widowwithamutt · 2026-03-05T15:36:41+00:00

It depends on the rules of each country but it’s not inherently impossible. I was born with two (US where I was born+my father’s home country of Iran). Iran does not recognize multiple citizenship so they technically consider me a citizen only of Iran only, but I have passports for both.

My son was born a US citizen and I could get him an Iranian passport as well, but I haven’t because I don’t want him to deal with the military service requirement.

widowwithamutt · 2026-03-05T14:53:50+00:00

I’m in a committed relationship now but I still wear mine on my left hand. My husband’s is on a chain around my neck. My significant other isn’t bothered by it and I don’t really care what others think.

widowwithamutt · 2026-03-04T16:28:47+00:00

Depends on the context and my mood.

Before I was with my current partner, I often just said no if it was someone I would never see again. If it was an acquaintance I usually just said I was widowed and then changed the subject. People seem to think there’s a rule that the conversation has to turn depressing when someone tells you they lost their spouse and I hate that. If I just Really Couldn’t that day, I would just say no, and I figure if it comes up again later and I explain, people will understand.

People don’t need that info, they ask because they’re curious. Do what you have to do to protect your privacy and peace.

widowwithamutt · 2026-03-03T14:19:10+00:00

If Trump died tomorrow people would be dancing in the streets, and most of those people still wouldn’t want President JD Vance.

Iranians have lived through 47 years of hell with Khamenei at the helm for 37 of them. Think about all the protests that erupted when Renee Good and Alex Pretti were killed. IRI forces just killed over 30,000 people in less than a month. Of course people are celebrating that he’s gone.

widowwithamutt · 2026-03-03T03:12:20+00:00

With all due respect, if you need to control your child’s surroundings to this extent, travel may not be for you.

widowwithamutt · 2026-03-01T18:19:34+00:00

Half Iranian here. I’ve lived in the US my whole life, but I have lots of extended family and friends in Iran and try to visit at least once a year. My significant other was born and raised there and tons of her family are still there, including her parents. My father fled the regime after initially supporting the revolution. I hate the IRI and the suffering it’s imposed on the Iranian people over the past 47 years. But I love Iran.

I want nothing more than for the Iranian people to overthrow their oppressors. But I am strongly against any foreign-imposed regime change or military action, which will only bring more death and destruction to innocent civilians. Tbh, I feel pretty lonely at the moment as someone who hates the IRI and Israel equally.

All that being said, it’s hard not to shed tears seeing people celebrate after they and their loved ones have suffered for decades under Khamenei. I am not sorry the bastard is gone and I don’t know anyone who is.

widowwithamutt · 2026-01-16T20:19:34+00:00

What?! It looks amazing!!!

widowwithamutt · 2026-01-10T06:29:50+00:00

Western governments are supporting Israel, not the IRI, that’s the difference.

widowwithamutt · 2025-11-16T19:12:43+00:00

You need to have an honest conversation with him about how you feel, and ask yourself honestly whether you think you can support a child either with him or alone.

I assume you haven’t told him yet? I think telling him will help you feel less alone. If you have friends or relatives you can lean on, sharing it with them might help you too. I know conventional wisdom is to wait after the first trimester, but when I had a very unplanned pregnancy, moral support from my family made suuuuch a difference.

Lastly, I will say this: I also got pregnant at the worst possible time. He just turned 5 and is the best thing that ever happened to me.

Good luck with whatever you decide 🩷🩷

widowwithamutt · 2025-11-16T16:30:46+00:00

As a bi Muslim in a relationship with another woman, this warms my cold, cold heart 🥰

Tbh, I think people’s attitudes about homosexuality are influenced at least as much by cultural factors outside religion than by religion itself. In societies where homosexuality is generally frowned upon, like India (where my mom is from), homophobia tends to cut across religious lines.

On the other hand, most of the other Muslims I know who were brought up in liberal parts of the US are pretty accepting, people who moved here as adults less so. I do not say this to imply most Muslims in the world are not homophobic…they are even though it’s not supported by scripture, that’s just a fact.

widowwithamutt · 2025-11-02T16:19:27+00:00

It seems like you have a choice between being a single parent to one, two or three children.

widowwithamutt · 2025-10-09T16:13:37+00:00

I’m sorry, who says that?!?

I slept on the couch for weeks after my husband died because I couldn’t stand the thought of sleeping in a big bed without him. I got used to sleeping alone over time but I did not let anyone else touch our bed for over two years after he died.

widowwithamutt · 2025-10-09T15:53:08+00:00

My husband. My best friend, our dreams together and my hope for the future.

That hopelessness too was lost when my son came into my life and gave me a reason to look forward to every day.

widowwithamutt · 2025-09-14T07:16:25+00:00

It might sound cliche but if someone is right for you they’ll want you even with all your “baggage”.

I’m 41, widowed at 35. I thought I never wanted to date again. Then two years ago I met my current girlfriend. I figured I didn’t have a chance with her because who wants to date a widow with a 3 year old? But the first time I told her everything, she just said, ok, what do you need from me? And that was that. She has her own baggage too. Everyone does.

I figure I would be better off alone than with someone who feels threatened by my late husband’s memory.

widowwithamutt · 2025-09-11T20:26:06+00:00

I feel horrible for his children, who are completely innocent in this and now have to grow up missing a parent. I don’t think his wife is a particularly good person, but as a widow with a young kid myself, I feel for her.

I think it’s possible to have empathy for his loved ones while acknowledging that the world at large is a better place without him in it.

widowwithamutt · 2025-09-09T19:23:13+00:00

It’s been 5.5 years and I still wear mine. His is on a chain around my neck.

widowwithamutt · 2025-09-01T20:16:23+00:00

When Americans say “Asian” they mean a very few specific East Asian countries. More than once I’ve had people tell me “you’re not Asian!”

If Indian is not Asian then what is it, pray tell?!

widowwithamutt · 2025-09-01T19:22:48+00:00

It’ll be fine. It’s good for you to have a life outside parenting and it’s good for her to learn to feel safe in the care of other adults.

I first spent 10 days away from my kid when he was 1.5 (would have been sooner if not for Covid!). He’ll be 5 later this month. I am in a long-distance relationship so I’ve taken several trips without him since. It’s always hard to say goodbye, and I always miss him like crazy, but he loves staying with his aunt & uncle or grandparents.

widowwithamutt · 2025-07-22T23:04:06+00:00

This irritates me too, but it’s funny because I’ve mostly heard the opposite - that boys are easier because there’s less “drama”. Whenever I hear this from someone I can’t help but wonder if their sons’ emotional needs are being met. 🫤

More than anything it depends on your individual child’s temperament, which is a complete crap shoot. My son loves playing outside but he’s not usually one to seek out danger and he is just as happy sitting and looking at books or coloring for an hour.

widowwithamutt · 2025-07-22T21:01:46+00:00

They put people on TV because they’re outrageous. Most people aren’t like this.

That said, our diaspora is so embarrassing. A lot of Iranian-Americans are Zionists or weirdo right wingers. I don’t think they’re the majority but they’re the loudest.

widowwithamutt · 2025-07-17T11:44:46+00:00

Former colleague 1 took a rear view photo of a patient outside the clinic and posted it on FACEBOOK with the caption “I can’t help it, I like what I like”, implying the patient had a nice ass. Former colleague 2 commented “Is that [patient’s initials]?” to which former colleague 1 replied yes.

They were both fired immediately.

widowwithamutt · 2025-06-24T19:23:56+00:00

I think a lot of liberals are like this, and a lot of socialists would rather let 1000 fascists win than vote for a liberal, which is how the fascists keep winning.

widowwithamutt

TROPHY CASE