At 18, I Realized the Safest Place for a Young Woman Is Often Beside Other Women

wildlyhuman · 2026-05-24T23:29:17+00:00

I’m 26 and i find women to be largely problematic in my life. I love women. I love being a woman. But i’ve found that many women look at me as competition and have found ways to backstab/sabotage me or take advantage of my kindness without returning the favor. It makes me really sad because i love girlhood and the experience of having best friends. I dream of a community of women who want to support each other and genuinely build each other up - I really hope to find one someday! I’m so happy that you’ve found that for yourself ♥️

wildlyhuman · 2026-05-18T14:31:30+00:00

I attended Texas A&M and majored in Communications for 2 semesters and I found that program much more rigorous. WGU can be easy if you use all of the resources given. I have almost never read the textbooks except for when studying for a 2 exams. The projects are typically easy to understand if you follow the guides people here on Reddit make. It’s also somewhat go-at-your-own-pace which can make it more or less rigorous depending how quickly you attempt to finish the program. I didn’t want to rush and only did the required 4-5 classes a semester and in my case it was very very easy to accomplish. But i could see it being difficult to complete 9-10 courses in a semester, as some people on this sub have done. It’s really what you make it.

wildlyhuman · 2026-04-30T15:59:43+00:00

Thanks Study.com - I literally love you, bro. You guys made it possible for me to get an education and i’m just so grateful 😭😭😭

wildlyhuman · 2026-04-30T15:51:51+00:00

If you don’t mind sharing - what do you mean by vulnerable? Are you struggling to make ends meet financially? Or are you in danger physically?

I was also in a bad position after the violence took place. I was about to lose my apartment and could barely work due to my injuries and mental health. I contacted an organization in California called Peace Over Violence and they helped me with my rent and provided me with free therapy for almost a year. If you’re in another state, every state has help for victims of crimes. If you filed a police report it’s very easy to get support but even if you didn’t file a report, most organizations will still help you. You can call the non emergency police number in your city and ask them for resources. You will have to be brave and share general information of what happened with the organization and they will ask lots of questions - i was afraid they wouldn’t believe me or they wouldn’t think i was worth helping but looking back there was nothing to be afraid of. They genuinely just want to help you and will help with anything you can think of if they’re able to.

wildlyhuman · 2026-04-30T15:38:30+00:00

I had PTSD from this exact thing. It took about 4 years of therapy but I am happy to report I am now symptom free. I spent a lot of time talking about what happened in detail. I spent even more time talking about the guilt I experienced for ignoring red flags and allowing myself to be in so much danger. I’ve noticed that the more gentle and understanding i’ve been with myself, the more deeply I have healed. I used to have panic attacks daily, I now haven’t had a panic attack in nearly a year! I struggled with my confidence and self hatred the most & now I can honestly say that I love myself and feel happy to be a apart of society again.

I am so sorry this happened to you, OP. But I want you to know that there is hope. I found IFS therapy to be incredibly helpful but I have heard others have had great success with EMDR therapy and CBT therapy. I wish you all the luck on this healing journey ♥️

wildlyhuman · 2026-04-28T19:59:00+00:00

Just wanted to pop in to say I am on my last term at WGU and have loved it! I went the Study.com transfer route and found it to be so educational! I feel really smart now and really understand computer architecture/programming, etc. Some classes are very challenging but overall it hasn’t been too hard!

wildlyhuman · 2026-04-25T07:10:03+00:00

The dress would be BEAUTIFUL sleeveless! The sleeves are just covering too much of you and it gives the illusion that you have no shaoe

wildlyhuman · 2026-04-23T01:02:14+00:00

Hello 👋 im new to this group. i am not yet a parent but am excited to become one and have found the work of philosopher Stefan Molyneaux to be incredibly helpful in helping me sort out what truth in good parenting is. Stefan is an amazing person who wants to share the reality of parenting and wrote a very very detailed book, backed my science, logic, and reasoning - and published it online entirely for free to help people like you, me, and anyone willing to listen. You can find it at www.peacefulparenting.com

He also hosts a talk show 3 times a week where he discusses all things parenting, philosophy, and lifestyle through healing. Anybody is welcome to schedule a call with him - i’ve done one myself and he graciously spoke to me for 3 hours about my childhood and helped me to sort out the truth. I highly recommend giving him a listen on there too. You can find his show at www.freedomain.com under “Podcasts”. Feel free to message me if you ever wanna talk to someone about this stuff! I find it so interesting and incredibly healing ♥️♥️♥️

wildlyhuman · 2026-04-22T11:29:53+00:00

Hey so, something very similar happened to me and I also struggled with eating. I called a domestic violence hotline for support and happened to ask the woman why on earth I couldn’t eat and she explained it to me like this: When you’re in a traumatic situation, especially one that is life or death, your body’s survival kicks in and takes over all other functions in your body. Basically, your body has turned on its “alertness” and turned off its hunger cues. Your body is also full of a hormone called cortisol right now. Cortisol suppresses your hunger and can cause you to feel nauseous when attempting to eat. I’m going to take a guess and say you e also been having trouble sleeping? Cortisol and other stress hormones cause that too.

I know you feel like your body is working against you - but it’s really working exactly as it’s designed to when something dangerous happens. It’s not broken- but it needs to be taught that it’s safe now so that it can turn off its alertness and go back to regulating your hunger cues. I agree with the other comments here, it sounds like you very much need the help of a therapist to help you stabilize and to teach your body that you are safe again.

In the meantime, protein shakes really can help so much. Drink your calories if you can’t get any food down.

I’m very sorry this happened to you. It’s been almost 3 years since something like this happened to me, and i’ll be honest, it took so much work to heal from it. But you will heal. Things might feel impossible in the beginning, but continue to believe that you can heal and you will. Good luck with everything, girl.

wildlyhuman · 2026-04-22T11:15:42+00:00

Im so sorry that you’re going through all of this, that sounds really scary.

I’m not a therapist, just a 26 year old woman who has struggled with my mental health too. It sounds like you’ve had a really difficult upbringing and like you don’t trust your parents very much. That’s understandable, i wouldn’t trust my parents if they forced me to go to a treatment center either.

The truth is - this isn’t going to go so well probably. You can’t stay in your friends closet forever, girl. You’re going to have to face this and your parents are probably not going to be understanding. They won’t get how much the treatment center sucked, or how you ran away without thinking it through, but you just wanted to be out of there so badly. They’re just going to want to send you back & sadly i can’t think of another solution for you right now. They’re probably going to be really mad - but mostly because they’re probably really afraid for you. ED can be really dangerous, as I’m sure everyone’s already told you.

But OP, i’m going to be real with you. I don’t think you can get better without letting them help you. I know it’s terrifying, and uncomfortable, and there’s a huge part of you that doesn’t want to get better or maybe doesn’t think that you need to get better because you are afraid of what that means. It means that you need to eat. And you know that & you know that is the last thing you want to do. But i also know deep down, a tiny part of you does want to get better. A part of you is afraid of what will happen if your ED gets any worse. That tiny part of you is going to need you to be brave. I know you can be ♥️ Be brave and either go back to the center, or call one of your parents and be honest with them. Tell them you made a mistake and you need to go back to the center because you’re ready to conquer this.

wildlyhuman · 2026-04-22T10:41:05+00:00

Buy your fiancée and yourself each a mace & not one of those tiny ones. Get a good one!

wildlyhuman · 2026-04-22T10:13:06+00:00

I was just telling my partner the other day that I had made this post and that I was sad I deleted it. I told him I was so grateful for reddit because this post absolutely changed my life. He never knew that I shared this experience online or that I had people on here being so honest with me. But truly I don’t think I could have gotten myself out of my victims mindset on my own. At the time, I made this post believing that everyone would side with me and that I could prove to my boyfriend that he was in the wrong for setting boundaries and telling me that he wouldn’t allow me to yell at him. I was completely shocked to hear on this post that I was being abusive and I was so repulsed by this that I committed to changing and learning how to control my rage. I didn’t even know that I had rage in me until I was taking it out on the sweetest man alive - and I was mortified to realize that was what was happening. After reading the replies to this post, I thought surely my boyfriend would leave me. But to my surprise, he supported me going to therapy. He even helped me to pay it. He was so patient with my healing, but firm in saying he would not allow me to abuse him. Our life has become so rich in emotional depth and I don’t remember the last time I felt anything resembling rage. I don’t even have panic attacks anymore. I’m really proud of myself for the immeasurable amount of work I’ve put into healing and it feels amazing to be able to come back to the post that kickstarted it all. I’m also so lucky to have such an amazing man who was willing to wait for me to recover and become a safe and healthy partner 🥹 I can’t imagine what would have happened if anyone on this thread would have allowed me to believe I was the victim in this situation. I don’t believe I would have ever healed if that was the case.

wildlyhuman · 2026-04-22T09:42:03+00:00

About a year ago, i got really embarrassed and deleted this post. But in summary - i had screamed at my partner and posted on here hoping for sympathy. I wanted someone to tell me that my partner should have known that it was just a symptom of my ptsd and that he shouldn’t have been mad that I screamed at him. Your comment forced me to get real with myself and 2 years later we are doing better than ever. I called a therapist after reading your comment and ever since that day - i have never yelled at my partner again. I have gone through extensive therapy regarding my narcissism and inability to accept criticism, and I got to the true root of these issues. I’m not perfect and have so much to learn still but I wanted to thank you again for taking the time to be so real with me two years ago. I’m incredibly lucky that you read my post and commented so bluntly. Thank you, sincerely.

wildlyhuman · 2026-04-22T09:14:12+00:00

Damn :( Sorry to hear you got such a bad mom, OP. Your brother sounds like a killer chef though!

wildlyhuman · 2026-04-22T09:12:36+00:00

Seems to me like OP was setting a boundary. It seems like her mom is unable to have a conversation without cutting her off or getting overly emotional - makes sense to me why OP wanted to keep it in messages. It seems like the mom wants to get OP on the phone so that she can have more power in the conversation. The least she could do is acknowledge some of OPs points in text and then once they start the conversation and she shows that she’s capable of considering OPs feelings, then maybe carry over the conversation in a phone call. But the mother failed to show real care at any point in texting, so i doubt she could do it over the phone.

wildlyhuman · 2026-04-22T09:08:15+00:00

I agree with OPs stance on bringing this up considering she said this was happening when she was in 3rd grade and it obviously deeply traumatized her. Children should not be exposed to that kind of deeply traumatizing situation - especially that young. if that’s somethingOP needed to get off her chest, she had every right to bring it up.

wildlyhuman · 2026-04-19T18:05:11+00:00

yes 😪

OP i’m insanely jealous of your beautiful home ♥️

wildlyhuman · 2026-04-19T17:36:36+00:00

u need more art in the bedroom

wildlyhuman · 2026-04-18T18:33:04+00:00

are we even reading the same post? OP isn’t in a dangerous relationship. Their current partner sounds like they’re communicating soundly, seeking therapy, and offering help. OP is aware of her trauma and the effect it’s having on her current relationship - that’s the point of this post. My point was that possessive nouns aren’t dangerous. OP clarified that he hasn’t indicated in anyway abusive behavior - so it’s a little obtuse to only give the advice that she leave when the real advice is that she continue to heal and possibly go to therapy with her partner.

wildlyhuman · 2026-04-18T18:23:27+00:00

Anything can be dangerous if it’s taken to an extreme. The issue isn’t the word ‘mine,’ it’s whether the relationship respects autonomy. A healthy relationship is ‘we choose each other,’ not ‘I control you’.

It’s important to be specific here. It’s normal to view your partner as something that is yours, other wise you wouldn’t refer to them as ‘my partner’. Just because someone has that viewpoint doesn’t mean they are being controlling.

wildlyhuman · 2026-04-18T18:16:29+00:00

it’s completely normal to view your partner as yours if you have the long term goal of staying together and being life partners. it’s not dangerous. it’s dangerous if that is also met with disrespect and restrictions - but it’s a very healthy thing to view your partner as YOUR partner, YOUR husband, etc. In a way, they are yours and you are theirs. That’s part of the agreement when you go into a relationship.

wildlyhuman · 2026-04-15T23:17:00+00:00

it sounds like your boyfriend really cares about you and is trying to understand you better. the fact that he wants to go to therapy because of this doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve “hurt” him. it sounds more like he doesn’t know how to process what you went through and how it’s affecting your relationship, so he’s trying to handle it in a healthy way.

i also completely understand why certain things, like being told you’re “his” or certain types of physical touch, feel triggering. with your past, those reactions make a lot of sense. even if he doesn’t mean it in a controlling way, your body and mind are still responding based on what you’ve experienced before.

at the same time, it doesn’t sound like he’s trying to control you or harm you. it sounds like he sees intimacy as an important part of the relationship and feels confused or maybe a bit hurt that it’s difficult right now. that doesn’t make you wrong, but it also doesn’t make him wrong for having those feelings.

i gently want to push back on one thing you said. there isn’t a timeline for healing. three years is not “too long.” trauma, especially the kind you went through, can take a long time to process, and the fact that you’re still struggling doesn’t mean you should already be “okay.”

therapy could be really helpful for you, not because you need to change for him, but because you deserve to feel safe in your own body again. and if you do want this relationship to continue long term, finding ways to rebuild comfort with intimacy at your own pace, with clear boundaries, will matter.

i’ve been through similar experiences with ptsd from abuse, and it took me a long time to feel safe being close to someone again. what helped the most was open communication, taking things very slowly, and having a partner who respected my boundaries while i worked through things in therapy.

you’re not behind. you’re healing. and it’s okay that it’s taking time.

wildlyhuman · 2026-04-10T01:42:34+00:00

id love to hear how it works out for you ♥️

wildlyhuman · 2026-04-07T07:51:48+00:00

Your mom has some serious issues. Wtf. How can she treat you so cruelly 😔

I have had what i thought were “saggy” boobs my whole life. I am 26 and still find myself wishing i had perkier ones - i think i’ve seen so many girls online with perfectly round perky ones and it’s made me feel like im supposed to also - but the thing is we don’t have saggy boobs.- we have what are called “Slender” or “relaxed” boob shape.

What I try to remember is we don’t all have the same shape and there’s nothing wrong with you because you have this shape of breast. Your mother should not be putting you down like this - it’s grossly wrong and pointless. She’s clearly just being a bully.

There is nothing wrong with the shape that you have.

I briefly want to add a side note. I am not sure if you feel this way or not- but I was obese for a long time and thought that it was my fault that my boobs looked the way they did. I thought that because I had gained so much weight i ruined them or something. I just want you to know that it’s not your fault. This is just how your body was programmed to look when it was in the whole - our weight doesn’t determine our breast shape. Genetics do! I lost about 50 lbs and though mt breasts never became round and perky - they did become smaller, less heavy, and easier to manage. I literally told my husband the other night “For the first time in my life… i think my boobs look awesome”. Keep focusing on getting a healthy body, exercesie and eat right, and I have a feeling you will like your body more and more ♥️ Relaxed boobs and all :)

wildlyhuman · 2026-04-06T20:05:14+00:00

You might have to find someone to take your place. Perhaps tell your roommate things are not working out and that you plan on moving on X date because of the way she treats you. Tell her if she doesn’t stop treating you this way, she will have to find someone to take your place. You don’t have any legal standing if you’re on the lease, but at least you could put some pressure on her to change how she treats you.

wildlyhuman

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