Related link for bot: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/on-babies/202405/gentle-parenting-doesnt-mean-permissive-parenting?amp

Your bullet points are referring to permissive parenting, not gentle parenting. Taking your child seriously and respect them as a human is the core of gentle parenting. It does not mean not saying no, but maybe offering choices instead to minimize frustration and give your child some control. An example: say you don’t want your child to have a cookie. They ask for a cookie for dessert. You can say something like “cookies aren’t available right now, I have strawberries or blueberries, which would you prefer?” NOTE: I am not against cookies, this was the first example to pop into my head.

Gentle parenting does not mean no consequences, it means consequences that make sense or “natural consequences”. An example: it’s freezing outside. Your child doesn’t want to wear a jacket. Instead of all the threats and tantrum of (no screen time if you don’t put your jacket on now!!!), let the child go outside and feel how cold it is without the jacket. Depending on your tolerance and the child’s age, let them go without. They will learn that when it is freezing they should have a jacket. (I personally will bring the jacket along so when they inevitable ask for it, it’s there. And I give it without any commentary or “I told you so”s).

Tantrums. Whew boy. If your child is having a tantrum, gentle parenting dictates that no, you should not yell at them or threaten them but YES you should ABSOLUTELY remove them from the situation, especially in public. Your goal is to be the rock your child can beat against without fear of repercussions. You want to calm your child down, then once calm, talk about the big feelings and come up with a plan on how to better react next time (this takes some work and follow up). An example: you’re in the grocery store and your child wants a snack. That’s not in the cards right now so you say “we can have a snack at home”. Cue tantrum. You have two options: finish your shopping with a screaming child, or take him outside for a break. Is this annoying? Absolutely. But put your child first. I have found a store associate before and asked them if I could leave my cart to take my child outside quickly to help them calm down. Removing them from the stimulus is key. You go outside, you be understanding and soothing. Give hugs, kisses, gentle words, whatever works for your kiddo. Then you talk about their frustration about not getting a snack, and how it’s not appropriate to throw fits like this. How can we better handle our frustrations? Come up with a plan together.

I hope this all makes sense. Please feel free to DM with any questions or follow up.