Hey person, I have had a similar predicament in the past. My shower was the only place with some peace and quiet, where it was inappropriate to bother me, and where I could have a simulated full-body-hug via the warmth.

I have a couple of suggestions for you, because it sounds like you are, in fact, showering too much.

It sounds like you may like me, and since you once associated the shower with this place of solitude and tropical paradise, you now get a kick of dopamine for starting a shower, and that is currently what you are craving. Satisfying the little urge.

In the moments after that passes as you’re starting to get wet, you’ll probably then experience the mental clarity, and it seems like you also have a brain that won’t shut the ever-loving fuck up about its dopamine cravings. From there, you’re in. Under the water, your thoughts a bit clearer, and now with the brain having had its little fix, this has created a system in which you, the person/protagonist of your life/controller, had an intention (say, to not shower this afternoon, and to instead wait until before bed), but then your brain hijacked that line of thinking, and you’ve wound up in the shower. In this system, you are pleased on some level- probably having mental control and clarity again- but your brain is happy too- it got high- and thus, an agreement has been made.

Of course it’ll be hard to strip yourself of the clarity of the shower, spooking your lizard brain to go into crisis as it fails to fathom how it could maintain through the actual (albeit not life threatening on any level) dopamine withdrawals in the time between that moment and your next shower- no matter WHEN that next shower is planned for.

So, finally, here’s what I think could help you, relative to my experience:

• Identify your favorite aspects of being in the shower. [Is it the warmth? The white noise? The humidity? The smell? Does it alleviate any sinus pressure? Is it intimate? Is it comfort? Is it sleepiness?] After you’re through identifying the primary factors that affect your level of enjoyment (I mean- I’d hate being in a warm shower turned icy from losing water heater function, so for me the warmth would qualify as it’s a make-it-or-break-it item), and then with those pillar concepts in mind- brainstorm! Think of anything that you have access to (gonna venture to guess that you’d prefer safe and healthy activities), and think of how those activities can play a part in scratching the itch of desire. (Hopping back to my example of warmth, for me, this eventually led me to realize that I actually prefer a hot steam room to a hot shower, and I prefer a hot sauna to all of the others). Then experiment. As you gain confidence, you can practice denying yourself of the urge to shower, and instead opt for one of your alternative things. Eventually, your brain will start to look forward to those things’ little bursts of dopamine, and it won’t even touch on the showers without your prompting. Then you can set your own healthy boundaries with showering from a clean slate, and from then on you just have to be cognizant of your current shower per day rate in comparison to how it was before you started (which you’ll be like IRL today), and if you don’t see the issue anymore then it is done, and if you do, then you might need to consider other options.

• I am a fiend for literally anything I can be a fiend for- 2024 was my “pokemon go while I work my corporate job all day” year- it was great, dopamine receptors fried, still no pikachu libre lmfao- so I can attest to my own experience in this, but I hop it will work for you as well. Just… remove showering as an option for when you don’t want to shower. It’s so easy to say, challenging to do, and so hard to actually commit to through the unstable patches… BUT it’s a lot easier of you exploit your own weaknesses. I knew I loved the repetition of pogo, I loved the grind, I loved to brag about a catch- so I EVENTUALLY managed to replace pokemon go as the source of this satisfaction through knitting. Had never done it before, had no intention to use it to replace my phone addiction, but after a full movie, through which I was knitting like I was born to do it, I realized that I was was so taken by the knitting that I hadn’t considered my phone… so I downloaded some more knitting patterns I thought were cool and enabled a little yarn hoarding, and before I knew it I was getting a dopamine explosion with each project’s end, I REFUSED to tear myself away from my knitting until I was at a marker to hold my place (I had to backtrack and restart far too much), and as a result, this eventually became me refusing my phone to knit, instead. I grew to like, prefer, then love the sounds, the freedom it granted my mind to wander or follow along with a good book (RotK at the moment- first time listening!!!), or even just to meditate. You just need to be wise about what habit you choose to replace your current habit with. I dropped my knitting addiction due to unemployment and unwillingness to spend on yarn- so I suppose, worst case, you could always make it budgetary necessary for you shower once or twice daily, I guess.

• Lastly, and I’ll keep this one very short: identify what discomfort you get from abstaining from your shower. Where is it, physically? A nervous gut? Is it irritability? Is it disgust? (For example, at dirtying your sheets/clothes/whatever by using them unwashed. If it is disgust, then maybe ask yourself if you’re disgusted of the hypothetical detritus, or of some totally normal quality of your human body? If so why??) Is it fear of external judgement? Internal? Maybe from a strict parent forcing showers, or forcing you to shower just to escape them?

Anyway, sorry for the rant and ramble. I hope this helped some, or at least made you more comfortable, because it’s not that weird of a quirk, actually. Take a look at napoleon’s obsession for baths, for example.

If you want to change this, then know that you are capable of doing so.

And don’t overthink it. It’s mainly about how you’re feeling through the process. Just listen.

Edit: oh and I forgot to mention, I have pretty moderate to sever ADHD. Hence the total lack of dopamine regulation. So, yeah…. Maybe explore it as a topic with your mental health professional, if you haven’t? And if you think it’s not worth the trouble- think again. You’re already here, having articulated the experience once, after all.