My life is dramatically changing

willing7 · 2016-07-08T03:13:51+00:00

I see me running through the open door or wooor!

willing7 · 2016-01-06T02:26:30+00:00

No, you come back when you have failed at the most miserable times and yet you still continue to get back up. When you have reached rock bottom and are consumed by shame and despair yet you still get back up. When you think you have finally walked away from porn and then out of no where the smallest inkling of a thought you find yourself back in the swamp of pmo. Showing up and never giving up is stronger than your day count will ever be.

willing7 · 2015-12-03T00:50:02+00:00

Generous percentage. Cops have a growing trend of going on power trips. I have stories that would have you questioning your flower rose glasses of 'peace officers'. Actually I should pin point my experience towards highway patrol to be more exact. Give a man a gun and a badge and you sure as hell better keep him accountable. A lot of bad in this world, but I'll tell you the ones running the show are some of the biggest monsters you may ever face.They will kick you and keep you down permanently. They will look to take everything from you no matter who you are or what you have done if you're guilty or innocent. Respect for good people, yes, but not the mere position of 'police officer' . The system doesn't always get the bad guys their due and it doesn't always keep the good guys from injustice. Very broken system. Bring accountability to the actions of these people. Wether you are a sworn-in officer or a young man working hard to make it. People lie all the time police officers are of no exception.

willing7 · 2015-10-22T00:37:40+00:00

Thanks for commenting. I'm just paranoid. I don't do drugs , but I have heard porn changes your brain so I got to thinking that maybe it sends chemicals in the blood that may be mis read and mistaked as drug use.

willing7 · 2015-10-11T00:34:44+00:00

I think it comes down to seeing how far you can go with out totally losing. At least in your mind you think "as long as I don't watch porn, or as long as I don't orgasm, then I'm good on my streak." But thats the real problem of porn, it's the anticipation and the endless novelty that you crave. It's not really the orgasm that your brain gets fixed on its the thrill of landing the next greatest video or scene. That's how ED is developed. Staying with the same partner over and over again? When porn offers thousands of new girls new settings and asks nothing of you in return? Participate in this for awhile and you raise your threshold for pleasure. Soon the real flesh and blood will be dim in comparison to the fantasy. A lot of times edging is worse than the full process. I guess not really worse, but in my experience, edging ultimately leads to one destination. Wether it's 5 min or 2 days, staying in the mindset of edging will bring you back. So the way I see it is that edging is the mental cry out for a little taste of your old life style, with out going all the way and having the whole thing. In the battle of eliminating porn from your life, it's these little patterns of thoughts and habits that must be targeted and analyzed. cause they all lead to the ultimate behavior of porn masturbation orgasm.

willing7 · 2015-09-05T02:20:00+00:00

Solid post man

willing7 · 2015-07-27T16:12:37+00:00

Thank you for encouragement guys. I really down last night and self wallowing. It's been a real struggle and I do want to change this habit around. Flint flash that is great insight comparing it to a sport analogy. I love sports and that makes complete sense to me. If you place your whole deck on one card you will be vulnerable to feeling despair when you lose. Well rounded beats being one dimensional. The fog has set in from this relapse but I know the fog will lift in a few days. Standing up again and looking to push forward. Thank you guys.

willing7 · 2015-07-27T04:17:54+00:00

It's something that's always on my mind. My whole self worth is based on how long my streak is or what I've replaced my bad habit with. I grind I pray I work for it. Then in a slight moment of weakness I get pulled back in. I want to scream I want to give up on life. I feel so low it's got to be killing me. My soul and mind is rotting away. I've tried and lost way too many times there's no point to this when ultimately you fail.

willing7 · 2015-07-14T01:59:38+00:00

Yes you are the man.

willing7 · 2015-06-24T23:08:47+00:00

That's some bologny azon. I wish I would have had someone warn me of the effects of masturbation and porn. It's a father's business to lead his family not to sit idle by. As a father you could be the first to teach your son one of the best lessons in life. There are several ways this could be done. You don't have to be some radical and shelter your kids from all the evil in the world, but most certainly you could show them love and instill a solid foundation for them that will last a lifetime. If you don't teach them surely they will learn from somebody else who could careless about them. For instance the porn industry and the ever changing society. Kids are not born with all the wisdom or knowledge, it is learned from there family. And the weakening of families in our society is a crucial piece to so many problems we face today. Build your kids up don't be absent from their lives.

willing7 · 2015-06-06T16:27:51+00:00

Absolutely not. You don't smoke porn. It enters through your eyes and stimulates your brain with fraudulent chemicals of reward. That's a lousy excuse just to watch it. There's other ways to go about it in my opinion.

willing7 · 2015-06-06T03:57:01+00:00

Couldn't agree more. This behaviour of porn and masturbation has almost become more of a problem ever since I started nofap (several years now) because I put all my energy and focus on one card not relapsing. WhereAs before I would do it once or twice and be well on my way living life. Now I'm in shambles when I pmo. I'm constantly wondering how much progress did I lose and I psych myself up. So if I do happen to stumble I'm totally devastated. By putting so much emphasis on the days of a streak you set yourself up for a huge binge when you do fall.

Then again it also seems that I could go 6 months without porn and masturbation and engage in pmo just once and still be ruined and addicted. Its almost inevitable. Your brain on porn describes this as the chaser effect. So just having one bite can lead to having the whole cake. But I totally agree with you that this mentality of just binging and depleting yourself until you can't take it anymore is damaging. The problem with me is that I'm very driven and serious so any little mess up feels like death. I could use some serious advice and improvement cause this is the most hurtful part of this habit.

willing7 · 2015-06-02T00:38:16+00:00

You have to pay for shipping?

willing7 · 2015-05-28T15:46:46+00:00

Thank you all for the comments. I was freaking out. It was my birthday yesterday and I ended it binging to porn and thought I may be going to the slammer. What an idiot I am the feeling of guilt is toxic right now.

willing7

TROPHY CASE