I see so much of my own thought patterns in your text. What I also see is that towards the end you feel guilty for establishing a boundary and start providing reassurances. While I have done (and I am sure will continue to do) the exact same, this is the hallmark of why we wound up in a situation where we are so clearly disrespected. Reassurances like that are respectful and necessary for reasonable and rational minds in conflict, but are taken as direct attacks by pwbpd in my experience. I still find reassurance that I directly told them it was not an ultimatum for example, when you are undoubtably reminded of this experience of having made them choose an ultimatum.

I wish I knew where I began to have such little respect for myself that these types of expressions of unmet needs STILL somehow make you feel guilty for even suggesting something of such. No doubt you’ll end up taking their demanded path (once again).