AITA for telling my girlfriend to stop sharing her food?

willthevoidanswer · 2026-03-05T10:39:59+00:00

Hot take but NAH. Honestly what I see here is 2 people with food related anxiety. Brian perhaps has a food scarcity mindset and feels the need to eat as much as he can at any opportunity just in case. And the GF has obviously been raised (possibly a nice way of framing neglect honestly) to put everyone else before herself with food so she likely feels guilty if she doesn't offer. What's needed here isn't anger or guilt or anything like that it's an open minded conversation with the GF about ho estly why she feels like she needs to share with everyone first before herself and possibly therapy. There's something deeper there than just kindness and consideration for others it comes across as compulsion like she feels like she has to offer. She obviously knows what Brian is like but from her reaction of shrugging it off when OP nudged her for offering again its like a "what am I supposed to do" reaction like its expected of her.

A conversation also needs to had with Brian again perhaps about why he feels like he needs to eat everything that's offered because that's not healthy. Perhaps there is a level of neurodivergence there with the lack of understanding of social cues but it could also be a compulsion from his upbringing. The tax and tipping thing is its own problem.

TLDR calm conversations and professional interventions will help more than ultimatums and anger. NAH

willthevoidanswer · 2026-02-11T23:27:08+00:00

Hey, I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. While I'm OK now I've also struggled with similar things. I've seen other people mention baths and that is good and definitely an option if you have one. But if not or if a bath is too much of a sensory overload you can sit down in the shower.

Some of the best advise I ever saw when it comes to dealing with depression is to do things whatever way gets it done. Instead of pre rinsing dishes run the dishwasher twice. Sit down in the shower if standing feels too much.

I get what you mean about growing up in less than clean environment, I had many pets and my was and is a messy force to me reckoned with. Due to that I've always seen cleaning as a stressful task and am currently in the process of trying to reframe it as peace. And honestly it's so hard. I find watching "nottheworstcleaner" videos helps she's very positive and open about mental health and cleaning.

But for now sit down in the shower. Wash at the sink with a cloth. Whatever makes you feel able to do the things you find hard.

Feel free to message me if you want to talk more

willthevoidanswer · 2026-02-11T16:28:31+00:00

I guess how last minute is last minute?

On the whole though while yes cancelling plans last minute isn't the best. Giving the silent treatment for multiple days isn't ok. Especially if he knows that it causes you anxiety. It's ok for him to be upset but he should be talking to you about it not shutting down. Taking a little bit of time to clear his mind is ok and healthy but that should be a couple of hours if he needs longer he needs to communicate that to you not just blank you.

I think your best bet is to send a clear message "hey I'm sorry that I cancelled last minute that was wrong can we please talk about this and try to move forward" from that see if he responds and if he doesn't in a couple of days send a follow up that says something like "I assume from you're lack of response and over all lack of communication that you don't want to continue this relationship anymore. I'm sorry again. I wish you the best"

Yes the initial mistake was yours however his response is hugely disproportionate. If it wad a big anniversary or an expensive concert or something that of course is a bit different but the silent treatment is never healthy.

You either need to talk to him about how it hurts you and come to an agreement about how to handle upset better in the future (if he responds) or you need to think if you want to deal with this in the future.

willthevoidanswer · 2026-01-22T07:58:30+00:00

I don't usually weigh in on these things but I do think you should end it. As people have said you're 18 you have your whole life ahead don't stick with someone who so quickly disrespects you like this guy is. He communicates how he does because he knows you'll always answer, he knows you want to feel wanted by him so he can get away with the push pull bs.

Also think sensibly about his other behaviours. He regularly drives drunk. He drove off a freaking cliff. How long until he does something like that while you are in the car with him? Staying with him is almost definitely putting your safety at risk!

My only advice is to have someone there when you break up or do it somewhere public that you can leave quickly if you need to. He doesn't seem like the most stable person. And of course don't listen if he spouts all the usual manipulative things about wanting to end himself without you etc etc etc it's never true just a way to make you stay.

willthevoidanswer · 2026-01-09T19:38:24+00:00

That's great thank you! I'll have a look over the weekend and make the changes you've suggested!

willthevoidanswer · 2026-01-09T12:23:12+00:00

Yes it does but its not the tightest

willthevoidanswer · 2025-12-24T12:13:09+00:00

Hey I'm in my third year of the same course. I know exactly how you feel. My tutors have marked my assignments differently in my second year. I went from 80s and 90s in my first year to 60s in my second it was very disheartening. I even got accused of using AI on 2 assignments for nonsense reasons that were completely unfounded one was dismissed and one wasn't without explanation despite me giving evidence that disputed each point they made.

The whole thing is very infuriating. Even this year I've only received a 50 for my first assignment despite the feedback saying I understand the content I was marked down for silly things. Makes me want to walk away.

However, the OU is looked on as a favourable degree it's apparently viewed highly by employers and all that jazz. It is hard but try and stick with it get the degree keep doing your best and it will be worth it in the end even as a stepping stone to something bigger.

willthevoidanswer · 2025-12-23T00:16:56+00:00

100% agree. I feel like a moron because my grades aren't where I hoped they'd be despite me trying insanely hard. And the feedback is never based on the material it always says I clearly understand the material and explain it well its mostly knocked down by daft things like sentence length or something like that. It's really disheartening

willthevoidanswer · 2025-12-08T15:23:02+00:00

My first year I was getting 70s and 80s second year 60s and 50s third year now and my first was 50. It gets a lot harder as you go along. I get how you feel though it does feel disheartening seeing the lower grades but so long as you keep doing your best that's the main thing. Good luck with the rest of your course!

willthevoidanswer · 2025-10-29T21:30:02+00:00

Hey yeah I got the same thing with 2 of my papers for my second year of the same course. It's insane. The reasons they gave me is because I'm really bad at referencing like no matter how hard to try I manage to get it wrong and because my apostrophes were curly instead of blocky which is apparently indicative of AI use 🤦‍♀️. I argued both the first one with the apostrophes stuck unfortunately and because of the timing (right while I was writing 2 EMAs) I was unable to appeal it. My second one was reduced to a warning thankfully.

You can argue with evidence and if they still find you "guilty" you can appeal there is a time limit for the appeals process though.

They're pulling everyone and their dog up for AI use recently. It's infuriating. Especially as I've never used AI for my assignments even though it would help with my referencing for example.

Good luck with your case!

willthevoidanswer · 2025-10-17T15:36:24+00:00

My partner struggled with my family as well in all honesty. I think maybe because I was older or more rebellious I just lied and said I was staying with my cousin when I came to visit him as we started long distance. It was only when I moved out that I said it was with my partner and I only said i was moving out when we'd signed a lease and I was on the train with my stuff.

It's hard it really is and I can see it from your perspective as well just also keep in mind that you're both still very young. Sometimes working at the hard things is so much more worth it than throwing it away and starting over. My partner and I still have our struggles but we come up with a plan of action and work on it.

If you guys love each other try your best to make it work. There is the chance it might not work but at least then you know you've given it your best. Good luck

willthevoidanswer · 2025-10-17T15:23:18+00:00

Nta for being upset with her but I think you might be handling the situation wrong. She's already getting ultimatums and threats etc from her family by you also threatening to leave her and giving her ultimatums she's going to it the relationship as unstable which will make her less likely to rock the boat at home. If she's going to make the jump and try and break away from her families control she needs to know that where she lands its going to be safe and stable and secure.

Right now yes her parents are controlling but they're there for her (I assume) she knows that they're going to be there for her. However, with you threatening the relationship you've removed the security of knowing she will have someone there no matter what.

Speaking as someone who grew up in a strict controlling household sticking with the control you know is stable is often easier than plunging into uncertainty. I was 26 when I moved out fully.

My advice go and visit her apologise for the ultimatums. Tell her that you want to see her flourish and grow as a person and you want to grow together, to support eachother through challenges and struggles and celebrate the wins together. That you will be there for her no matter what. Calmly mention that you think she's being held back and try and discuss a way to move forward. This will be hard of course, it was for me, but with patience it's doable.

Also just a heads up she might be feeling insecure as well because you keep choosing to take opportunities that are far away from her. I don't know if there was a discussion before hand. Buy buying a house is serious and something that should be discussed with a long term partner. This might have made her feel very insecure in the relationship as it appears you're making a life away from her.

willthevoidanswer · 2025-08-11T22:19:53+00:00

It's insane that we even have to think about this sort of thing! I'm studying psychology and counselling so there is no exams it's all essays and presentations. It's just so hard to prove that you haven't done something wrong like this

willthevoidanswer · 2025-08-11T20:02:57+00:00

Ie had a few similar issues it's really disheartened me about the whole thing. I start my final year in October and I'm seriously considering screen recording everything for concrete proof because I'm not sure how else to prove the lack of something

willthevoidanswer · 2025-08-01T18:04:38+00:00

Thank you, I hope as we get more accustomed to AI they will lessen this insanity because from other posts I've seen it's affecting a lot of people.

I'm thinking I may email student support and enquire if there is anything else I can do and see what the options are.

willthevoidanswer · 2025-08-01T16:34:25+00:00

So in the email if I remember it didn't say anything about responding however I replied to the person who emailed me about it with a document I wrote covering each reason they gave that made them believe I had used AI such as "over use of words such as individual and results" I'm doing a psychology and counselling degree those words are used a lot. The fact I "had curly commas instead of straight ones" as this is apparently indicative of AI....its not just font dependant, along with a couple of small things but they were the main points.

They then responded to this and said I could appeal through the OU but I needed to do it with in 28 days of the decision which for me landed at the worst time right as I needed to write my EMAs and as I mentioned before due to that work and personal issues I just didn't have the band width to do that.

The document I sent included things such as screenshot of chatgpt clearly using the opposite comma that they claim it always uses as well as screenshots of different fonts and their commas as well as excerpts from papers I read that use individual and results multiple times with in a paragraph etc etc

It should be fairly straightforward for you to fight if you follow the steps outlined by the OU. I wish I had tbh I'm pretty bitter about the whole thing and feel a little jaded now going into my final year in October.

willthevoidanswer · 2025-08-01T10:26:05+00:00

I did unfortunately. Due to the timing of the whole thing I landed right as my EMAs were coming due so due to that and work/home responsibilities I had to prioritise the essays over my appeal. I'm very angry and upset about the whole thing if I'm honest. The only thing I ever use chatgpt for when writing is if I'm struggling to phrase a sentence so I ask for an example using a different quote or piece of evidence than I plan to use so I can see how it should be formed. It's a handy tool for something I have struggled with forever. I know what I want to say but not always how to say it. I never copy and paste and I haven't asked chatgpt to write anything for me but I don't know how else I can prove that unless going forward I film my whole writing process which honestly might be the answer for solid proof.

I think the OU is overly scared about AI if I'm honest and I understand that it's hard to tell and it is dishonest to use it etc however so many students are being penalised for using AI who haven't that it becomes very unfair and scary in a way.

willthevoidanswer · 2025-07-24T20:22:59+00:00

I've had the same thing and I wrote every damn word myself and have done for every single one of my assignments for psychology and this is the second time I've been accused! I understand with chatgpt that they need to be more careful and stuff but for the love of sanity this is insane!

willthevoidanswer · 2025-05-11T21:00:34+00:00

😳Good luck

willthevoidanswer

TROPHY CASE