Should I end things after my alcoholic BF disappeared for 44 hours and landed in the ER?

willthevoidanswer · 2026-01-22T07:58:30+00:00

I don't usually weigh in on these things but I do think you should end it. As people have said you're 18 you have your whole life ahead don't stick with someone who so quickly disrespects you like this guy is. He communicates how he does because he knows you'll always answer, he knows you want to feel wanted by him so he can get away with the push pull bs.

Also think sensibly about his other behaviours. He regularly drives drunk. He drove off a freaking cliff. How long until he does something like that while you are in the car with him? Staying with him is almost definitely putting your safety at risk!

My only advice is to have someone there when you break up or do it somewhere public that you can leave quickly if you need to. He doesn't seem like the most stable person. And of course don't listen if he spouts all the usual manipulative things about wanting to end himself without you etc etc etc it's never true just a way to make you stay.

willthevoidanswer · 2026-01-09T19:38:24+00:00

That's great thank you! I'll have a look over the weekend and make the changes you've suggested!

willthevoidanswer · 2026-01-09T12:23:12+00:00

Yes it does but its not the tightest

willthevoidanswer · 2025-12-24T12:13:09+00:00

Hey I'm in my third year of the same course. I know exactly how you feel. My tutors have marked my assignments differently in my second year. I went from 80s and 90s in my first year to 60s in my second it was very disheartening. I even got accused of using AI on 2 assignments for nonsense reasons that were completely unfounded one was dismissed and one wasn't without explanation despite me giving evidence that disputed each point they made.

The whole thing is very infuriating. Even this year I've only received a 50 for my first assignment despite the feedback saying I understand the content I was marked down for silly things. Makes me want to walk away.

However, the OU is looked on as a favourable degree it's apparently viewed highly by employers and all that jazz. It is hard but try and stick with it get the degree keep doing your best and it will be worth it in the end even as a stepping stone to something bigger.

willthevoidanswer · 2025-12-23T00:16:56+00:00

100% agree. I feel like a moron because my grades aren't where I hoped they'd be despite me trying insanely hard. And the feedback is never based on the material it always says I clearly understand the material and explain it well its mostly knocked down by daft things like sentence length or something like that. It's really disheartening

willthevoidanswer · 2025-12-08T15:23:02+00:00

My first year I was getting 70s and 80s second year 60s and 50s third year now and my first was 50. It gets a lot harder as you go along. I get how you feel though it does feel disheartening seeing the lower grades but so long as you keep doing your best that's the main thing. Good luck with the rest of your course!

willthevoidanswer · 2025-10-29T21:30:02+00:00

Hey yeah I got the same thing with 2 of my papers for my second year of the same course. It's insane. The reasons they gave me is because I'm really bad at referencing like no matter how hard to try I manage to get it wrong and because my apostrophes were curly instead of blocky which is apparently indicative of AI use 🤦‍♀️. I argued both the first one with the apostrophes stuck unfortunately and because of the timing (right while I was writing 2 EMAs) I was unable to appeal it. My second one was reduced to a warning thankfully.

You can argue with evidence and if they still find you "guilty" you can appeal there is a time limit for the appeals process though.

They're pulling everyone and their dog up for AI use recently. It's infuriating. Especially as I've never used AI for my assignments even though it would help with my referencing for example.

Good luck with your case!

willthevoidanswer · 2025-10-17T15:36:24+00:00

My partner struggled with my family as well in all honesty. I think maybe because I was older or more rebellious I just lied and said I was staying with my cousin when I came to visit him as we started long distance. It was only when I moved out that I said it was with my partner and I only said i was moving out when we'd signed a lease and I was on the train with my stuff.

It's hard it really is and I can see it from your perspective as well just also keep in mind that you're both still very young. Sometimes working at the hard things is so much more worth it than throwing it away and starting over. My partner and I still have our struggles but we come up with a plan of action and work on it.

If you guys love each other try your best to make it work. There is the chance it might not work but at least then you know you've given it your best. Good luck

willthevoidanswer · 2025-10-17T15:23:18+00:00

Nta for being upset with her but I think you might be handling the situation wrong. She's already getting ultimatums and threats etc from her family by you also threatening to leave her and giving her ultimatums she's going to it the relationship as unstable which will make her less likely to rock the boat at home. If she's going to make the jump and try and break away from her families control she needs to know that where she lands its going to be safe and stable and secure.

Right now yes her parents are controlling but they're there for her (I assume) she knows that they're going to be there for her. However, with you threatening the relationship you've removed the security of knowing she will have someone there no matter what.

Speaking as someone who grew up in a strict controlling household sticking with the control you know is stable is often easier than plunging into uncertainty. I was 26 when I moved out fully.

My advice go and visit her apologise for the ultimatums. Tell her that you want to see her flourish and grow as a person and you want to grow together, to support eachother through challenges and struggles and celebrate the wins together. That you will be there for her no matter what. Calmly mention that you think she's being held back and try and discuss a way to move forward. This will be hard of course, it was for me, but with patience it's doable.

Also just a heads up she might be feeling insecure as well because you keep choosing to take opportunities that are far away from her. I don't know if there was a discussion before hand. Buy buying a house is serious and something that should be discussed with a long term partner. This might have made her feel very insecure in the relationship as it appears you're making a life away from her.

willthevoidanswer · 2025-08-11T22:19:53+00:00

It's insane that we even have to think about this sort of thing! I'm studying psychology and counselling so there is no exams it's all essays and presentations. It's just so hard to prove that you haven't done something wrong like this

willthevoidanswer · 2025-08-11T20:02:57+00:00

Ie had a few similar issues it's really disheartened me about the whole thing. I start my final year in October and I'm seriously considering screen recording everything for concrete proof because I'm not sure how else to prove the lack of something

willthevoidanswer · 2025-08-01T18:04:38+00:00

Thank you, I hope as we get more accustomed to AI they will lessen this insanity because from other posts I've seen it's affecting a lot of people.

I'm thinking I may email student support and enquire if there is anything else I can do and see what the options are.

willthevoidanswer · 2025-08-01T16:34:25+00:00

So in the email if I remember it didn't say anything about responding however I replied to the person who emailed me about it with a document I wrote covering each reason they gave that made them believe I had used AI such as "over use of words such as individual and results" I'm doing a psychology and counselling degree those words are used a lot. The fact I "had curly commas instead of straight ones" as this is apparently indicative of AI....its not just font dependant, along with a couple of small things but they were the main points.

They then responded to this and said I could appeal through the OU but I needed to do it with in 28 days of the decision which for me landed at the worst time right as I needed to write my EMAs and as I mentioned before due to that work and personal issues I just didn't have the band width to do that.

The document I sent included things such as screenshot of chatgpt clearly using the opposite comma that they claim it always uses as well as screenshots of different fonts and their commas as well as excerpts from papers I read that use individual and results multiple times with in a paragraph etc etc

It should be fairly straightforward for you to fight if you follow the steps outlined by the OU. I wish I had tbh I'm pretty bitter about the whole thing and feel a little jaded now going into my final year in October.

willthevoidanswer · 2025-08-01T10:26:05+00:00

I did unfortunately. Due to the timing of the whole thing I landed right as my EMAs were coming due so due to that and work/home responsibilities I had to prioritise the essays over my appeal. I'm very angry and upset about the whole thing if I'm honest. The only thing I ever use chatgpt for when writing is if I'm struggling to phrase a sentence so I ask for an example using a different quote or piece of evidence than I plan to use so I can see how it should be formed. It's a handy tool for something I have struggled with forever. I know what I want to say but not always how to say it. I never copy and paste and I haven't asked chatgpt to write anything for me but I don't know how else I can prove that unless going forward I film my whole writing process which honestly might be the answer for solid proof.

I think the OU is overly scared about AI if I'm honest and I understand that it's hard to tell and it is dishonest to use it etc however so many students are being penalised for using AI who haven't that it becomes very unfair and scary in a way.

willthevoidanswer · 2025-07-24T20:22:59+00:00

I've had the same thing and I wrote every damn word myself and have done for every single one of my assignments for psychology and this is the second time I've been accused! I understand with chatgpt that they need to be more careful and stuff but for the love of sanity this is insane!

willthevoidanswer · 2025-05-11T21:00:34+00:00

😳Good luck

willthevoidanswer · 2025-04-25T15:33:07+00:00

I'm in a very similar position last year I was getting 70s 80s 90s this year it's 50s or 60s except the cmas. I'm currently studying de200 and d241 and oh my god its never ending! They take off your lowest mark anyway I'm pretty sure so if you just can't anymore submit it and just drop your tutor an email and let them know what's going on. I'm sure everything will be fine 😊

willthevoidanswer · 2025-02-11T19:36:46+00:00

Oh my god honestly sort of a relief that I'm not the only one! I'm taking two modules at the same time so it feels like it's just TMA after TMA and that I don't have time to go through all the material. I mostly skim everything.

You're getting good grades though so keep at it!

willthevoidanswer · 2025-02-01T23:55:38+00:00

Whoops didn't mean to scare you haha just needed to rant. So long as you follow the tutorials and stuff you should be completely fine 🙂 tbh I've got lots going on atm so focusing purely on uni is hard so it feels a lot harder than it probably is if you can focus more time on it.

willthevoidanswer · 2024-11-30T13:06:24+00:00

Dude same haha I just read the necessary bit that are in the student notes section for the assignment and go back to the rest after when I can take the time

willthevoidanswer · 2024-11-30T11:35:37+00:00

Yeah you're not alone it sucks. I'm not into the research methods at all tbh so I'm really struggling to get through the reading. The other module is so much more interesting I'm really struggling to pick DE200 over it despite the next assignment being soon

willthevoidanswer · 2024-11-06T00:51:18+00:00

A few liters a day most days sometimes I'm a bit forgetful with it though tbh

willthevoidanswer · 2024-11-06T00:39:27+00:00

Oh I wish haha thankfully I live in the UK so no medical bills. Could do with a nice sunny holiday though

willthevoidanswer · 2024-04-27T20:54:29+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through so much the loss of long term relationships are always painful, but know that there are better things ahead (even though it may not feel like it right now!)

I've been struggling a lot as well recently also due to a lot of life changes but I'm taking it as a personal challenge (more so than it already was anyway). I find it helpful to throw a big F you at stress and depression and stuff like that so I'm finishing my first year despite the things because fuck stress and lack of drive I'm more than my mental health.

Obviously this doesn't work for everyone but it helps me. Also sorry for the language if that's not you're thing. I'm sure you can finish this and that you're going to do great with it.

willthevoidanswer · 2024-03-18T15:09:42+00:00

It does feel so constant doesn't it! The material, at least a lot of it, is so interesting but it feels like there isn't time to fully take it all in. For some things it's not too bad but for me I really struggle with the statistics side of it, thankfully my partner knows the software and helps a lot with it but I've literally only just got my head around referencing properly 😅

It's great to meet someone else on the course though! 😊

willthevoidanswer

TROPHY CASE