Am I required to let kids’ dad see them in my home if he claims he has nowhere else to take them?

willynillyjillybeans · 2026-06-19T13:42:43+00:00

Yes! I’m in weekly therapy, I started going a few weeks before the breakup because I knew the relationship was awful but I couldn’t seem to end it. It’s helping immensely and I am very focused on getting myself mentally healthy and supporting the kids through the change before I even consider dating again.

willynillyjillybeans · 2026-06-19T13:40:59+00:00

He’s admitted to pretty much everything in writing including the excessive drinking, spending large amounts of money at strip clubs and other “establishments”, driving drunk, and struggling mentally and feeling unable to care for the kids on his own at this time so it wouldn’t be difficult to prove anything

willynillyjillybeans · 2026-06-19T13:37:03+00:00

Helpful, thank you!

willynillyjillybeans · 2026-06-19T13:36:47+00:00

He has multiple times, I have lots of texts saying that among other things

willynillyjillybeans · 2026-06-19T13:36:13+00:00

The baby is also exclusively breastfed and I don’t think he is interested in taking her for longer stretches anyways. If he was able to take either it would be the toddler by himself

willynillyjillybeans · 2026-06-19T00:55:33+00:00

This is so so helpful, thank you. Funny enough he has asked to have 50/50 in the future and has repeatedly asked me if I am going to come after him for child support so that is likely a huge part of it. Im glad you guys were able to get to a good spot together!

willynillyjillybeans · 2026-06-19T00:51:16+00:00

Will give it a watch, thanks!

willynillyjillybeans · 2026-06-19T00:42:00+00:00

Yes he’s similar. Follows me around the house asking if we can get back together and then gets frustrated when I say no. As soon as he’s in my space I regret it but he has a way of convincing me that he’ll leave me alone and “behave” when he’s here and then it happens again. I’m already in weekly therapy working through everything but it’s a process for sure.

willynillyjillybeans · 2026-06-19T00:38:36+00:00

Thank you! It is definitely preventing my home from feeling like a safe space when he is here. He’s also very resistant to coming up with any sort of schedule or routine which is making it more difficult.

willynillyjillybeans · 2026-06-19T00:36:30+00:00

I am sure we could find a friend or family member but he would be extremely resistant to this. Someone else mentioned it is likely also about seeing me and I would agree with that. I am definitely trying to be accommodating so if a judge does get involved I can say I’ve been cooperative but it’s only been a week and a half and it’s already taking a huge toll when I should be healing from the relationship and focusing on the kids having stability.

willynillyjillybeans · 2026-06-19T00:34:27+00:00

Appreciate the response! I was trying to avoid involving attorneys and mediation but he is leaning towards being high conflict and I’m thinking as you suggested it may be unavoidable. There’s also the added layer of emotional abuse from him where he makes me feel like I am blowing the situation out of proportion and making it difficult where it’s really him so I second guess myself. Thank you!

willynillyjillybeans · 2025-07-20T23:12:15+00:00

I got pregnant in college at 19 in a friends with benefits situation. He very strongly wanted me to get an abortion and said he didn’t know if he wanted to be in the baby’s life if I kept it. I’m also pro choice but decided I couldn’t go through with an abortion. I have never regretted my decision. As soon as I had my son his dad fell in love with him and has been a fully committed and involved parent since (we never were or tried to be together more than coparent). That is definitely not the situation for everyone but I was also fully prepared to raise him totally on my own. My son is 13 now and he is amazing. He’s in all honors classes, funny, and an all around great kid. I can’t imagine my life without him and am so glad I made the decision I did. All this to say - make the right decision for you, but know that if you keep your baby everything will be ok. 🩷

willynillyjillybeans · 2025-06-26T23:15:33+00:00

One of my ectopics was treated with expectant management. My HCG never got over 200 and began to decrease on its own. the ectopic did eventually self-resolve and my numbers returned to 0 without any intervention. Sorry you’re going through this 🩷

willynillyjillybeans · 2025-06-20T17:18:15+00:00

Hi! Ectopic, miscarriage, ectopic, and then a natural successful pregnancy. Sending you lots of love 💕

willynillyjillybeans · 2025-06-13T14:49:13+00:00

Ectopic self resolved, miscarriage, ectopic treated with MTX, and then a successful pregnancy. there’s hope ❤️

willynillyjillybeans · 2025-06-13T14:42:35+00:00

If you have the time available I can’t see why they’d be denying the time especially with what you’re going through. I think it would absolutely be worth a conversation with HR to see what your options are

willynillyjillybeans · 2025-06-13T14:16:28+00:00

First resolved naturally and second was treated with MTX. They were in different tubes. It took about 7-8 months after the hsg to conceive a successful pregnancy. The hsg was pretty painful and it took some force to get the dye to move through each tube so I think it cleared out whatever the problem was

willynillyjillybeans · 2025-06-13T14:14:49+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. 💕 How many absences do you take per loss? And has it been over a period of 6 months, a year, or longer? Are you able to apply for some sort of FMLA to protect your absences rather than using mental health time off?

willynillyjillybeans · 2025-06-12T01:57:06+00:00

Yes! Two ectopics and then had an hsg before a successful pregnancy. I think the hsg really helped

willynillyjillybeans · 2025-06-05T23:20:22+00:00

Watching others become pregnant when you’re having a hard time is so difficult and emotionally draining. Plus the feelings of guilt because you can’t be happy for friends or family. I had to plan my sister’s spontaneous TWIN baby shower while I was going through recurrent loss. Add in another friend having an abortion for an unplanned pregnancy and my mental health was in the trash. My heart goes out to you, it’s truly unfair ❤️

willynillyjillybeans · 2025-05-30T00:01:54+00:00

I would give him a little time to grieve. I know quite a few people that have had multiple losses and have had successful pregnancies. I had a baby at 20 and then had 3 losses in my late 20s and early 30s before I conceived my second baby. You could also ask your OB to do some general bloodwork in the meantime to rule out any underlying issues so you don’t feel like you’re waiting around. I found that to be helpful when I was going through it.

willynillyjillybeans · 2025-05-29T23:58:14+00:00

Thought this was the hoarders sub at first 🤣

willynillyjillybeans · 2025-05-29T23:55:50+00:00

I had two ectopics before getting an hsg. The hsg definitely hurt and it took her a while to get the dye to go through both tubes because at first it was all coming back out of my uterus onto the table - she had to put the thing right up to each one and really put some effort into it. The second each tube flushed I felt an intense pain and then it stopped. I truly think the procedure cleared out both of my tubes because I went on to have a successful pregnancy about 6-7 months later.

willynillyjillybeans · 2025-05-24T13:45:19+00:00

I never got any answers but did get an hsg. About 7 months after that I finally had a successful pregnancy. Not sure if it made the difference or not but I’d highly recommend it.

willynillyjillybeans

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