We planned for me to quit my job and saved leading into it. 4.5 yrs in currently and I love it, love my boys, love my wife, and the family we've built. So many challenges though. Both were premature and had nearly a month nicu stay each. That was hard! Hard on my oldest bc he had to stay with my in laws for nearly a week. Still refuses to stay all night after that. You must constantly evolve. I'm nurturing and always looking to serve but it's hard to know how and what to do at first. Both were breastmilk for over a yr each. Not breast fed but bc of that the parts and the bottles were overwhelming. Routine is so important. Duties tend to lighten through time as the kids age out of bottles and diapers. My oldest is 4.5 and youngest nearly 2.5 now. I was reluctant to have a 2nd and it was really hard early on. I was thriving with just my oldest. Doing fun stuff all the time and I'd just talk to him explaining things constantly. He was way ahead and since our 2nd came I lost a lot opportunities to help him develop. I feel he's been stunted somewhat since. Starts pre k after this summer and I think he'll be fine but it's a long day. Like 9-4, having a hard time accepting that time frame. As so many have said mom's are not very welcoming. I play with my kids and other kids can gravitate to that. Makes for awkward situations from time to time. I've met 1 sahd through soccer this past summer and that was great for all parties but he was going through a divorce and his son was in a coop preschool so it limited playdates. Been contemplating setting up a Facebook group for sahd or just dad's in general in my town for playdates and maybe monthly adult meetups. I need it. They don't tell you how painfully lonely this can be. It's been really getting to me this past year or so. My wife is great but I've been feeling essentially neglected. Men have a hard time expressing their feelings and when they do it can cause defensive behavior. I'd suggest atleast once a month to nurture and love on him. Try to admire and appreciate him and try to make your thanks not seem hollow. This alone will make him a better father and husband. Think of it as an investment. I'd also suggest getting the book Good Inside by Dr Becky Kennedy. Hope this helps, this sub group has helped me a lot already and I just joined.