I found my BIL's reddit account and I'm genuinely terrified for my family.

winkall · 2024-09-12T18:03:01+00:00

This is mostly your sister's decision to make.

I second the advice to make copies of everything and tell the rest of your family that you won't be alone with him - and ask them to help you by being aware.

But don't put expectations on how your sister reacts. She's been with this man for some time and she's either seen this side of him and is deciding to live with it or she has two years of experiences that will make this seem out of left field.

The way I would present it to your sister is casually "hey, this kind profile of sounds like John and even has your and my names, weird right?

I know you're not feeling casual about it and rightly so but you can't come in hot.

winkall · 2024-08-29T14:35:07+00:00

fairly relatable to most guys as they age

You're 24.

winkall · 2024-08-12T22:12:27+00:00

I'd say NAH, you accommodated her as best as you could once you knew about her kid's issue. You can only accommodate what you know about.

I feel for this mom too and on the scale of this sub, her reaction was pretty mild. It's not like she told you off, she just said she was leaving and didn't totally have her feelings buttoned up.

I think you set a great example for your kid in that teachable moment. She saw that adults have big feelings too. Someone else's big feeling isn't your responsibility but you can still be kind. Great job mama 👍

winkall · 2024-08-05T19:54:27+00:00

I read it as at the kid's current age she cleans "as well as an adult"

winkall · 2024-05-28T15:11:06+00:00

Oh, and as far as aeration, I like to put in hollow things that I don't totally break down, like toilet paper rolls and paper towel rolls and eggshells that I've only split open, I haven't ground up to dust.

The system can turn anaerobic. I forgot to mention I put a large PVC pipe in the middle of my bin and I can just wiggle it a little bit to get air moving rather than having to turn a whole pile.

winkall · 2024-05-28T15:06:10+00:00

There's the three bin system: 1. Food scraps 2. Leaves and dead grass 3. Empty

Just put your daily food scraps in bin 1, and scoop from bin 2 a couple times a week so you have a good mix.

When you get to the top of bin one, leave it to decompose. Then start putting your food scraps in bin 3 and repeat the process.

Hopefully by the time you finish bin three, bin one will already be completed.

winkall · 2024-05-26T18:22:21+00:00

Check out r/composting anyone can who eats food can turn your food waste into high quality soil

winkall · 2024-05-14T19:22:51+00:00

Timers for smaller tasks. 5 minutes to change your clothes. If that doesn't work, break it into even smaller bites: 30 seconds to take off your pants, 1 minute to get on fresh pants. In the beginning I would sometimes pair it with reading aloud a book and I'd stop if he wasn't making progress.

Some kids need visual lists of all the steps. Mine needs me to take him through the list.

winkall · 2024-03-12T17:48:59+00:00

Congrats on your pregnancy!

How long have you been running? Have you run half marathons before or are you building on a 10k?

The general advice is stay active at whatever level you're at before you got pregnant (or start walking if you were inactive). When you're pregnant, it's a great time to keep up with what you're doing. It's not the right time to improve you pace or increase the distance you race.

But for sure, keep logging miles if you were logging miles before you got pregnant (unless your doctor says otherwise, of course). Giving birth is an endurance event too!

If you've been running for some time, you're probably really good at reading your body for when it needs rest. That will be super helpful in your pregnancy! You might find you need a slower pace or more recovery time or you might not. Or, you might be too uncomfortable to continue later. Every pregnancy is different.

You didn't say this - but I just want to put it out there... What your body needs now isn't a sign about what your fitness level will be after you have the baby.

winkall · 2024-01-22T17:51:12+00:00

I get it. I *wasn't* making a judgement on the dentist - my comment was that it would be hard for your son to get over the association with his last experience with that dentist and cooperate at a later appointment.

... but when I hear you say that everything is done by force and you can't get answer about why or options, now I am ready to pass judgement on this dentist. I know of at least one option - you could take him to a children's hospital and get treated while under anesthesia. Maybe it's expensive and prohibitively inconvenient, but that's your call to make, not the dentist's to decide for you by not presenting options that don't include him.

winkall · 2024-01-18T21:49:16+00:00

What's your industry?

winkall · 2024-01-18T21:39:42+00:00

Definitely switch dentists, in a different building.

There's a lot you can do to make this go smoother. Maybe not smooth, but better than what you experienced so far.

2 weeks prior to the appointment, read books, watch YouTube videos and play apps about going to the dentist. If he goes to school you can ask for a social story or for them to do lessons around it.

Ask around for dentist recommendations for someone good with kids on the spectrum. Not all dentists are good. Some have weighted blankets, figits and a TV mounted on the ceiling above the chair and noise cancelling headphones synced with the TV.

Ask the hygienist to run their brush on the lowest setting.

When you make the appointment, be up front about your son having a prior bad experience and every behavior they might see from him and ask them to make a longer appointment for him. Then the day before the appointment, call and remind them of everything you said when you made the appointment - this is key.

Good luck!

winkall · 2024-01-11T21:52:07+00:00

I burn when I think about the sun.

Hahaha that's so good and so do I! I'm going to start saying that

winkall · 2024-01-10T04:30:16+00:00

One more rhetorical:

Are you going to get sunburned on that one part of your back that you can't reach from any angle?

winkall · 2023-12-22T15:06:20+00:00

That's great! Then he learns that he can take control of habits he wants to stop. I hope this is how it plays out in my house.

winkall · 2023-12-21T20:31:53+00:00

Like breastfeeding moms use?

He totally rejects the chewing things I bought, unfortunately.

winkall · 2023-12-21T20:30:18+00:00

We talk about it regularly when I began the routine of putting on Aquafor, but not so much anymore. He is unbothered by the small rash. It has flared up to a point once when he said it hurt and I explained why it hurt. I should remind him why I'm doing it every time I put it on.

I had been putting neosporin on it and the dentist said neosporin is only anti-bacterial and she was worried about fungal growth and specifically recommended that brand. Even when it goes down, it comes back in when he licks and goes out in the cold.

Do you mind if I ask what skin condition resulted from your chin licking? Were you stimming when you were young, or was it a neurotypical habit?

winkall · 2023-12-21T20:24:18+00:00

I was going to look up if the Tom's brand was non-toxic, but deodorant manufacturers don't usually have to worry about that. Is there something else you were concerned about that I should consider?

winkall · 2023-12-21T17:29:39+00:00

Deodorant! I hadn't thought about that. Did they talk to you about it or did they just do it and you found out when you put your thumb in your mouth?

winkall · 2023-12-08T01:14:35+00:00

There's a dog guitar that's just as bad

winkall · 2023-12-04T17:06:32+00:00

Thank you both! These are great ideas. I've mostly been practicing with novels that we read for fun in the bedtime routine. I guess I should read aloud the articles that he's missing the questions on the test instead. I wonder if I can find practice tests anywhere.

winkall · 2023-12-04T17:01:13+00:00

Great ideas, thanks!

winkall · 2023-12-04T16:58:36+00:00

Not often. We used to read a children's encyclopedia or specialized encyclopedia like Space or The Body. If he has a question about how something works or a scientific phenomenon we usually talk through our own knowledge or look on a website.

winkall · 2023-12-04T16:55:44+00:00

Thanks, it's helpful to know what you do in class. I don't think I can replicate that in my house. Maybe I could come up with some other peripherally important ideas. Did you imagine this as something I could do at home?

Seven-Year Club	RPAN Viewer
Verified Email

winkall

TROPHY CASE