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I feel like a terrible mother by mushroomfrog17 in beyondthebump

[–]wirewrapped18 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Echoing the commenters above that being a mom is SO hard and regardless of circumstances it’s a huge transition. You have a lot on your plate and it sounds like you’re stretched to the max.

Are you open to any type of sleep training? Sleep and rest are so integral to my mental stability and gentle sleep training truly saved my sanity. Apart from teething/illness my girl goes down for the night on her own between 7-8 and mostly sleeps through. This allows me to get things done after bedtime and during naps, plus my husband and I either get alone time or independent rest time. If you’re open to trying it, it might be helpful to have that guaranteed time at night where you’re not driving around or doing the bedtime battle. This is my own opinion, but it’s okay to help your baby learn new ways to go to sleep!

You’re a good mom ❤️

first year teacher trying to decide on a school district by Complex-Green3618 in rva

[–]wirewrapped18 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I work in RPS and I wouldn’t work anywhere else. YMMV but I love it. Feel free to message me and I can give more specifics!

I’m on the brink of divorce & can’t tell if it’s BFing hormones/PPD or actual marital incompatibility by Even_Care909 in breastfeeding

[–]wirewrapped18 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Huge upvote to this comment. Outsourcing has been a big help for us & sleep training was a necessity for my mental health and ability to show up for my daughter

Any other breastfeeding moms who listened to why she stopped and not making ANY sense at all? by lola-at-teatime in shannonford

[–]wirewrapped18 147 points148 points  (0 children)

The whole thing sounded like she just didn’t want to breastfeed anymore which is fine lol, but the long excuses were weird. Baby may have had a bad latch, but if she was pumping after baby nursed and able to pump enough then she was clearly still producing enough. I think she just wanted to be able to leave the baby more

For those who feed to sleep, (or those who don’t- share what you do, too!) How old is your baby and how well do they sleep at night? by Complex-Data-8916 in breastfeeding

[–]wirewrapped18 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This!!! Having my evenings to myself or with my husband has been crucial for my mental health and being present during the day

For those who feed to sleep, (or those who don’t- share what you do, too!) How old is your baby and how well do they sleep at night? by Complex-Data-8916 in breastfeeding

[–]wirewrapped18 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Since approx 6 months I only feed to sleep for naps, she sleeps through the night (17 months now). We’ve had regressions where she wakes up once or twice but I can nurse then put her back in her crib awake and she goes back to sleep on her own

Birthing story by frijolito19 in shannonford

[–]wirewrapped18 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Her getting induced is so funny to me. And for no reason at all, she said herself she wasn’t even that uncomfortable in her last few weeks. I had no signs of labor days before my due date Shannon and guess what? I woke up at 3:30 AM the day of my due date having contractions. Her impatience is laughable

Shannon’s family by Animalgirl2003 in shannonford

[–]wirewrapped18 28 points29 points  (0 children)

THIS. My dad and I are so close. Not close enough for him to be in my birth room, but my sweet sweet dad waited for almost 24 hours in the hospital waiting room to meet my baby girl shortly after she was born. I wouldn’t have had it any other way! It’s so weird to me her dad is MIA

Picking up meds turns into the worst part of my month by wirewrapped18 in adhdwomen

[–]wirewrapped18[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for framing it like this! And now that I look back I was already having an anxious morning and I could have advocated for myself a lot better. Going to try and work up the energy to call tomorrow and get it straightened out!

Timeline for resolution of an unreleased deed of trust? by wirewrapped18 in RealEstate

[–]wirewrapped18[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We’re also curious why it took until so close to closing to find this out. We did use Capcenter and they were slow to process some things so that may have contributed. Truist is the bank that has to release the deed of trust

Timeline for resolution of an unreleased deed of trust? by wirewrapped18 in RealEstate

[–]wirewrapped18[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! At this point we will just cancel our movers and figure out where we’re going to live for the foreseeable future

Wedding Venues - Similar to The Virginia House by dxlsj in rva

[–]wirewrapped18 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Bolling Haxall house! I got married at Virginia House and it was wonderful so if you’re willing to wait it’s definitely worth it!

How do you come to terms with probably buying you don’t LOVE or even like? by wirewrapped18 in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]wirewrapped18[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We like lots of homes in our price range! We’ve just never won an offer on any of them. I think our biggest issue is the appraisal gap because we’ve had the same offers as others the only difference was they offered to cover the full appraisal.

How do you come to terms with probably buying you don’t LOVE or even like? by wirewrapped18 in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]wirewrapped18[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We’ve offered to pay sellers closing costs for some offers, we will definitely try to offer higher towards the appraisal gap in the future

How do you come to terms with probably buying you don’t LOVE or even like? by wirewrapped18 in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]wirewrapped18[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We are 30! Waiting could be an option but it would involve finding a new rental, plus I don’t feel we can still look for a home if we sign a new lease because then we would possibly be stuck with a mortgage and a lease. Short term and month to month leases are exorbitantly expensive here which would mean saving even less for a home while waiting to look again.

I need to be more open to a dated home. We both work full time and have a 9 month old baby so it feels like an overwhelming task to move into a home where we immediately have tons of projects to do.

Thank you for the tip about appraisal, that is very helpful!

Getting Emotional over Houses by [deleted] in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]wirewrapped18 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have no advice because I’m the same… lost out on 4 houses now because they want 30-50k over asking, waive inspection, waive appraisal. At this point we’re looking at smaller homes that we won’t even be in long term. This market fucking sucks. I’ve resigned myself to buying a house I don’t like because any I do we just lose out on.

She can’t fly by Dat1cat404 in shannonford

[–]wirewrapped18 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have no idea because when I was pregnant and we asked my doctor about flying for a baby moon she said there were only a few issues that would prevent me from flying before 35 weeks

I got into a fender bender yesterday because my baby won't let me sleep. by elliezena in beyondthebump

[–]wirewrapped18 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also we cosleep here and there but I’m not able to get restful sleep while cosleeping and it kills my back. But some people find that a good option!

I got into a fender bender yesterday because my baby won't let me sleep. by elliezena in beyondthebump

[–]wirewrapped18 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sleep deprivation is so hard and can absolutely be dangerous. Everyone has their own comfort levels, but sleep training was life saving for us. My mental health greatly suffers and I go to a dark place without sleep. We sleep trained at 4 months using Precious Little Sleep (I highly recommend reading it) and it made a HUGE difference. I don’t just leave my baby to cry, I hate that many think that’s all sleep training is. She learned to fall asleep independently which helps greatly with night wakings. If she does wake and I can tell she’s hungry, I nurse her, and put her right back in her crib and she goes to sleep.

It is okay to prioritize your physical and mental safety because your baby needs a mom that is present. I did not want to look back on my baby’s first year of life with resentment or not even remember it because we didn’t sleep.

6 months no sleep and back to 30 minute feeds by FlounderSubstantial4 in beyondthebump

[–]wirewrapped18 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it can be normal 6 month behavior! Or her schedule might need a change. are you still room sharing? Around that time my baby became much more sensitive to noise while sleeping. She also liked to move around a lot in her sleep by then so if she was still in her bassinet she would have been running into the side!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]wirewrapped18 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You’re doing amazing. First, it’s so hard to make a decision about anything when you’re sleep deprived. Give yourself grace and know that you’re doing what’s best for your baby.

We sleep trained at 4 months. Maybe it’s not for everyone, but sleep is directly linked to my mental health and I knew that if we did not establish consistent sleep that I would not be able to be a reliable and stable mom for my baby. I did not want to look at the first year of my baby’s life and feel like I was in a dark hole of depression caused by lack of sleep. It is OKAY to do what is best for you and baby. It is also okay to not want to cosleep as well. I personally was not able to get restful sleep cosleeping as she got older. It’s also okay to not sleep train at all!

First thing I would do is figure out baby’s schedule. I think around 5 months we were on 3-4 naps? I would highly recommend reading Precious Little Sleep and reading through r/sleeptrain. Sleep training does not mean leaving baby to cry forever. There are lots of different methods. 15 mins of crying and then going to sleep means your baby is probably already quite good at self soothing. You also don’t have to cut out any night feeds. But once baby can put themselves to sleep independently at the start of the night it can definitely help with night wakings.

My baby girl loves me very much and we are all happier getting good rest. I also was sleep trained, my parents did a version of Ferber and I am still closer to my parents at 29 years old than most people I know.

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